Carnivale and Free Waffles

Maybe it's the hot weather, but the crazies seem to be coming out of the woodwork. Here's a recent email, from someone who believes HBO has secretly cast her in "Carnivale." And worse, the pay cable channel won't let Waffle House comp her breakfast.

OK. Here's the letter (I've deleted her name, for obvious reasons):

I have recently discovered that I am on a show on HBO called Carnivale. I have not signed any paperwork nor have I received any payment. I have been advised by my local community that my image is being digitally altered for this show. My head is being cut and pasted to a different body – this explains why everyone tells me that I photograph thin.

This show amounts to character assignation. It states that I am a serial rapist, murderer and that I am not even human. I was born at Holloman AFB in Alamogordo New Mexico, I have contacted Holloman’s legal department and they have advised me that as long as I have a birth certificate and a social security card that I am legally able to work and that I am entitled to all legal rights that Americans enjoy.

I have contacted the Discovery Channel and HBO legal department and they have repeatedly refused to help me. They have even advised the Waffle House that “I do not belong to them” when the Waffle House wanted to comp my breakfast.

I have been followed by personnel in public in order to prevent me from learning the name of my show. I have been told I can only stay in the Atlanta area – however no pr or advertisements have been shown in this area. I have not met or worked with anyone on this show – supposedly I can sing – I cannot sing and have never performed in public - I am not an entertainer.

My whole life has been ruined by this show. I have no privacy; I am being photographed in the nude, in the shower and in the bathroom against my will. My personal bank accounts are being advertised to the world. Money has been taken out of my Bank America accounts by viewers of the show. In addition I am being harassed by the Discovery Channel when I attend movies and concerts. I was asked by the Discovery Channel to leave the theatre when I wanted to see “Cinderella Man” – they advised that if I did not leave the theatre they would embarrass me.

The Discovery Channel and HBO have crossed the legal bounds of decency and have abused their power in the media. I do not have the financial backing to protect myself from this media giant. I need help in getting this show off the air and receiving financial compensation for this invasion of privacy.