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Thursday, May 14, 2009

"Lost" Finale: My Continuity Beefs, and Other Thoughts


Locke -- or is it?! -- kicks it with Ben.

OK. So it's the busiest time of year for me at work, and I haven't had a chance to join in on the "Lost" conversation. But better late than never.

Holy. Sh*t. Wow. The show known for blowing minds did a lot more than that on Wednesday night.

Well, for starters, it appears that they blew up the whole island. Or something. That fade to white at the end of the episode wasn't just painful for what it meant to Juliet, who had just said her tearful goodbye to Sawyer. Nah, it was also painful because that's it. Until January. We've now got eight long months to dissect what we saw in "The Incident," the final episode of "Lost's" season five.

So what did we learn? Well, that Rose and Bernard are amazing survivalists, and have been starring in their own TV show on the other part of the island. (Seriously, ABC, you should have planned ahead and been busy shooting the six-episode comedy "Stranded!" for fall. Rose and Bernard are stuck on a goofy island in the 1970s -- think about it: The Harlem Globetrotters could visit. Etc. But I digress.)

We learned that Locke is not really Locke. Which to me was the saddest part of the episode. Is the real Locke truly dead, and did he really die at the hands of Ben, and at a point when he was the most pathetic and miserable? Because that sure ruins any hope that "Lost" might end on an upbeat note.

We learned that Jacob may be hundreds of years old, but he talks and dresses like he's from 2009.

What? More on that in a second.

We learned how Marvin Candle/Pierre Chang loses his arm. We find out how the "Incident" took place. We learned why Richard doesn't age. And we learned that the producers had no idea what to do with Sun in the second half of the season.

And we also learned that there's apparently a nearly 15-year age gap between Sawyer and Kate. (We saw 10-year-old Sawyer in 1977, and 10-year-old Kate -- with her New Kids on the Block lunchbox -- in what must have been 1989 or 1990. Mistake, or is there really that big of an age difference?)

Listen, I love "Lost." LOOOVE "Lost." Even in season three, even the Nicki and Paolo episode. I seriously love "Lost."

And yet, the whole continuity thing drives me nuts. It goes back to when we saw modern appliances in the 1970s-era hatch. It continues to the amount of time it took Jack to snap in 2007, from the moment Locke visit to when he was screaming to Kate near LAX that they needed to go back. (Which should have been a several months-long decline, but according to the timeline was just a few days.)

And Wednesday night, it bothered me that they didn't seem to really try to capture the period in flashbacks. Juliet's flashback, for example, must have taken place in the late 70s or early 80s. Yet their house was decorated like 2009 -- and ditto how everyone was dressed.

The other flashbacks were the same thing. We see young Sawyer in 1977, mourning the death of his parents. Yet it didn't give any hint that it was 1977-- it could have been yesterday. Which it was.

And then there's Jacob.

In the opening scene to the finale, we catch Jacob and a mysterious nemesis on the beach. The first exchange they have is pleasant: "Mornin'!" "Mornin'."

Then we see the ship out in the distance. Which tells us the scene we're witnessing, according to "Lost" lore, is taking place in the 1800s. Whaaa?

Did anyone talk like that -- a folksy "Mornin'" -- in the 1800s? And more importantly, why were they wearing modern clothing? And why did Jacob sport a cool, 2000s style hair cut and stubble beard? I swear, Jacob might have just stumbled out of Rudy's Barber Shop in Silver Lake.

OK, rant closed. It was definitely nice to see Rose and Bernard one last time -- you know they're gonna perish in that bomb, even though the rest of our pals will be sent back to 2007 -- but I'm still wondering whatever happen to the Tailies (including the kids) who were kidnapped by the Others.

And finally, just when we thought we'd figured out the show. It's Ben vs. Widmore, right? Uh, not so much. Jacob vs. Fake Locke. So far, point for Fake Locke. But we've still got 17 episodes to go. Wow. This final season is gonna go by fast. If it ever gets here. C'mon, January!

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