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Monday, August 11, 2003

A Candidate with Life Experience
I know I've been stumping for Gary Coleman, but as the list of gubernatorial candidates reaches 200, I think I've found another alternative.

Her name is Mathilda Karel Spak. She's a Northwestern graduate with a bachelor's degree in business. And she's 100 years old.

Spak, who's been retired since 1960 (that's right -- she's been retired since my parents were in elementary school) was most recently an "ambassador" for the 99 Cents Only stores (when she was 99). Spak tells the L.A. Times: "They're some very important and wealthy people. But I'll fight it out. With my experience at (nearly) 101 years old, I can outlive all of them."

(By the way, if you haven't yet, turn to page A36 of the Sunday L.A. Times-- the shot of Spak chatting it up with porn actress Mary Carey, as both wait at the county Hall of Records in Norwalk for their paperwork, is priceless.)

The L.A. Times compiled a list of candidate bios in Sunday's paper. There's a great mix of ordinary people with celeb names (Richard Simmons, Michael A. Jackson and my favorite, Robert "Butch" Dole) as well as candidates who managed to throw a plug for their business in as their middle name (David "Renaissanceamerica.org" Johnson, Todd Richard "The Bumhunter" Lewis).

There's also candidates hoping to be confused with name politicians (Dan Feinstein, S. Issa) and another one who shares the name of a Fox 11 anchorman (John W. Beard).

Finally, no one seems to have noticed that Father Guido Sarducci has entered the race! Yup, Don Novello -- who played the Father through the years, and also authored "The Lazlo Letters" -- has entered the race!

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