Franklin Avenue

Mike-the-Media-Whore Programming Notes
Catch me pretending to know what I'm talking about tonight on the syndicated Celebrity Justice.

The CJ folks wanted to know about the FCC's equal time provisions, and how Arnold's candidacy (along with the candidacy of Gary Coleman, Fr. Guido Sarducci and others) might affect local TV stations.

The answer: Very little. Entertainment mags like "Entertainment Tonight" and "Celebrity Justice" are considered news by the FCC, so they can keep on breathlessly pounding the Arnold beat without worrying whether Mike Schmier, Mathilda Karel Spak or Cruz "Bust A Move" Bustamante will demand equal time.

As long as local stations don't air "Diff'rent Strokes" repeats or the broadcast version of "Terminator 2," they'll be OK.

Now, here's where it gets dicey:

-- What about ads for "Terminator 3"? Since those are ads, stations simply have to offer other candidates the opportunity to buy ads at a similar cost.

--How about that Christmas episode of "The Simpsons" guest starring an animated Gary Coleman, playing himself as a karate-chopping security guard ("Whatchoo talkin' about, Moe? [Gary turns to face the audience] Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, everyone!")
If local outlet KTTV-11 plays that episode, will Bill Simon and Arianna demand that animated versions of them be played on the station?

--Say a local station airs the Tommy Lee Jones/Anne Heche goofy disaster flick "Volcano." In one scene, flying lava sets an Angelyne billboard on fire. Would that trigger equal time demands by porn candidate Mary Carey?

Celebrity Justice will air 11:30 p.m. tonight on KCAL-9 and repeat Thursday morning at 11:30 a.m. In New York, it will air Thursday morning at 10 a.m. on WNBC-4.