Best TV Moment Of 2004... So Far

Nope, not Janet Jackson's boob... or the "I Dated Fabio" revelation from "Average Joe 2." My vote goes to last Thursday's edition of Comedy Central's The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

The news parody's coverage of Condoleeza Rice's testimony in front of the 9/11 commission was nothing short of genius. From the writing to the show's correspondents to, of course, Jon Stewart, "The Daily Show" is on top of its game every night -- but this was better than average, even for them. Here's the best part, transcribed for you by Franklin Avenue:

JON STEWART: Throughout this entire process, the Bush Administration has been adamant that all the intelligence it received from its Presidential Daily Briefings, or PDBs, centered on Al Qaeda attacks outside of the United States.

(CLIP)

COMMISSIONER RICHARD BEN-VENISTE: Isn't it a fact, Dr. Rice, that the August 6 PDB warned against possible attacks in this country?
NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR DR. CONDOLEEZA RICE: It did not warn of attacks inside of the United States. It was historical information.

(END OF CLIP)

STEWART: So obviously there's a disagreement there. There's some ambiguity regarding the PDB, the President's Daily Briefing. I guess it could be interpreted many different ways.

(CLIP)

BEN-VENISTE: And I ask you whether you recall the title of that PDB.
RICE: I believe the title was, "Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside the United States."

(END OF CLIP)

STEWART: (STUNNED SILENCE)

STEWART: You're (bleeping) kidding me, right? PLEASE say, PLEASE SAY you're (bleeping) kidding me!

Well, they didn't know there were Al Qaeda cells in the States, did they?

(CLIP)

RICE: Dick Clarke had told me, I think in a memorandum, I remember it as being only a line or two, that there were Al Qaeda cells in the United States...

(END OF CLIP)

STEWART: (YELLING) Well how long should that sentence be?! "Al Qaeda cells are in the United States" -- It doesn't need to be that long of a sentence! A line or two does it!!

I'm sorry, I'll turn it back over to Eugene Levy. (Ben-Veniste has more than a passing resemblance to the "SCTV" and "American Pie" star.)

(CLIP)

BEN-VENISTE: Did you tell the President at any time prior to August 6 of the existence of Al Qaeda cells in the United States?
RICE: First, let me--
BEN-VENISTE: If you could just answer that question that would --
RICE: -- just make certain --
BEN-VENISTE: I only have a limited--
RICE: I understand, but it's important that I address --
BEN-VENISTE: Did you tell the President?
(FLASH)
BEN-VENISTE: My only question to you is --
RICE: I understand, Commissioner, but if you would --
BEN-VENISTE: -- told the president?
RICE: Give me a moment, I will address fully the questions that you asked --

(END OF CLIP)

STEWART: Commissioner Ben-Veniste, if you just let Dr. Rice answer, I'm sure she'll tell us exactly what she did with that unbelievably important piece of information.

(CLIP)

RICE: I really don't remember, Commissioner, whether I discussed this with the President.

(END OF CLIP)

STEWART: (MORE STUNNED SILENCE)

STEWART: To be fair -- and it is hard to be fair -- the Bush team would have had a better chance had the previous administration left them with some kind of plan.

(CLIP)

RICE: We were not presented with a plan -- We were presented with a series of actionable items...

(END OF CLIP)

STEWART: See, it was a series of actionable items, listed together on a piece of paper. That's not a plan!
In conclusion, Dr. Rice, does the buck stop anywhere near you?

(CLIP)

RICE: (SERIES OF EDITS) I didn't manage the domestic agencies, no national security advisor does... The FBI was pursuing it... We were in office 233 days... The responsibility for the FBI to do what it was asked to do was the FBI's responsibility... Inside arrangements for the FAA are not really in my... It's their responsibility... In the memorandum that Dick Clarke sent me on January 25th he mentions sleeper cells. There is no mention or recommendation of anything that needs to be done about them...

(END OF CLIP)

STEWART: (Bleeping) other people. They always let you down.