Sell Out

I used to believe only the absolute insane would wake up early the morning after Thanksgiving to brave those fierce shopping crowds.

This year, I witnessed the insanity firsthand. Turns out I was right.

Maria and I usually avoid those Friday morning zoos... but we got sucked in this year. The Best Buy ad -- conveniently tucked into our Thursday newspaper -- had some pretty good deals. In particular, a JVC camcorder for $199 (after mail-in rebate, of course). With baby on the way, we've been pondering getting one -- and hell, $199 isn't such a bad deal.

The catch: Stock is limited. The sale lasts only until noon. And doors open at 6 a.m.

Normally, we would have said screw it -- and we have, every year up until now. But the thought of not having a camera to record our little one's life moments hit just the right chords. So even though I was up until 2:30 for the radio show, I knew we had to do it. We set the alarm for 5:30 a.m...

And just like that, it was already 5:30. We'd spent the night at Jason and Sherry's house, so Maria dropped me off at Burbank's Empire Center while she sped home to find our several unused Best Buy gift cards. It was then that I realized -- ho, ho, ho, how quaint we were, getting to the store right when it opened at 6.

Clearly we were new to this. The line snaked around the building. I kept walking. Down the side. More walking. Into the back. More walking. Some entrepenurial kids were selling coffee. More walking. Finally found the back of the line -- beyond even the store's dumpsters. Yup, it was going to be a long morning.

Apparently people had started lining up at 9 p.m. the night before -- while Maria and I were still snug at Jason and Sherry's, enjoying "Mean Girls." I rang Maria on her cell. "Get over to the Atwater Village Best Buy! Maybe the line's better over there!" With me positioned in Burbank and Maria at a second location, our chances at scoring the camcorder would improve, yes?

The line slowly moved, but eventually I got inside. It was now 6:45. The place was a madhouse. Customers drove around carts stuffed with cheap-o TVs, DVD players, digital cameras, DVDs, CDs... for many, it was apparent they were buying all that gear just for the sake of buying it. And I gotta admit, the allure is there: After waiting so long to get in -- and actually being there for the super-exclusive 6a.m.-to-noon sale, you really feel like you have to load up on stuff.

I paced around, trying to find the camcorder. A Best Buy employee pointed toward the customer service line. Yes, having waited 45 minutes just to get inside, I now had to queue up again for a shot at actually bringing home one of the few remaining camcorders. It was like Disneyland. But instead of Mickey or Goofy, we had Gabe, the guy trying to sell us a Best Buy extended warranty package.

Meanwhile, Maria was having even less luck in Atwater Village. The phone rings: "It's like the Sarajevo Best Buy," she says -- which is how we usually refer to the war-torn Kmart across the street from the Farmers' Market. Maria had found the customer service line there too, but things were even less friendly. Both the guy in front of her and the guy in back were constantly shoving her.

Slowly I worked my way up the line -- but discovered that the camcorder had to be paid for right there. Maria had the gift cards. I called her up again. "Get over here!"

But no rush. Apparently the customer service folk weren't in a hurry. So my line plodded along. Meanwhile, as the woman in front of me stood guard over her loot, her daughter would disappear, bring back an item, disappear again, then load the cart with something else. Did these people really need three cheap-o, sure-to-break $17 DVD players?

Maria eventually arrived -- but was stuck outside -- yes, even at 7:30, the line still stretched around the block. The guy behind me overheard, and suggested that Maria come to the front door and be escorted in to the customer service desk.

I called her up, and just as I made it to the counter... Maria dashed in, gift cards in hand. I scored the fourth-to-last JVC camcorder, and told Gabe to back off -- a $75 service plan defeats the purpose of buying a $199 camera.

Triumphant in our three-hour Best Buy adventure, we made a quick Krispy Kreme pit stop and then drove to Circuit City, cocky with victory. We searched for the free-after-mail-in-rebate CD-Rs. The Circuit City worker just chuckled. "Dude, those are loooong gone!"

Never again.

But wait a sec, is that really a 99 cent cordless phone for sale at Good Guys? Gotta run.