In possibly the most unusual "Best of LA" roundup ever, the LA Weekly takes a Pirate-themed approach to this year's roundup. And it somehow works.
Highlights include:
:: Best Carpool Tunnel Syndrome, in which the weekly highlights some of L.A.'s biggest freeway crunches:
Tackle the 110 South transition to the 101 East alongside downtown Chinatown at 70 mph and watch your soul itself leap from your body and hide in the back seat. The whole of the Pasadena Freeway northbound out of downtown is inescapably entertaining when the pressures of work and traffic urge your leaden foot to unwisely exceed the posted speed. It is rife with short, deadly “Surprise! Here I am!” on-ramps, rapidly narrowing lanes, and curves sewn tighter than a corpse’s mouth.
The westbound 134 to the southbound 2 has deceptively shallow curves bleeding directly into a steep downhill grade through Eagle Rock, at which point it becomes painfully clear that only two of your car’s four wheels are riding the asphalt. Your speedometer pushes 90 mph by the time the Glendale Freeway appears.
Also worth mentioning and/or blocking out of short-term memory: the utterly hairy 405 North to 101 West hairpin.
The paper misses the hairiest of them all, however: The 101 North transfer to the 5 North. Newcomers miss it altogether, due to a lack of signage on the 110 (save for the one mention on the 110 courtesy guerilla artist Richard Ankrom). But even if you know it's coming, the transfer is just one lane -- which means it's perpetually jammed, all the way downtown.
Novices simply wait in line... but if you're smart, you know to speed along in lane No. 2 through the first two tunnels. But you gotta get over by the time you hit the third tunnel and see the flashing light indicating the sharp off-ramp curve... and so far, I've never missed it yet. But if that's not dangerous enough, that sharp left-hand curve onto the 5 (where FINALLY the off-ramp turns into two lanes) is enough to add to the stress. Truly not a freeway transition for the faint of heart.
More LA Weekly "Best of" entries include:
Best City Staircase To Heaven:
"The Clinton Street steps (at Glendale Blvd., just north of Bellvue Ave.) are really the Charlie Brown Christmas tree of public staircases. Yet they have beauty too, rising step by step to the corner of Clinton and Belmont streets, where, once you’re finished gasping and wheezing, you can see the panorama of Echo Park Lake, the ridge line behind it and, on a rare winter’s day, snowcapped mountains."
Best Landlocked Treasure: Atwater Village, where
"Epicurean delights abound — Cuban treats at Baracoa Cuba, Mexican and Salvadoran nosh at tiny Tacos Villa Corona and booming El Buen Gusto, Vietnamese food at Indochine, vegetarian Indian at India Sweets & Spices, and old-fashioned steaks and martinis at the legendary Tam O’Shanter, a note-perfect, 84-year-old Mildred Pierce–style family chophouse that was once the de facto studio commissary for the old Disney lot (signed drawings by Uncle Walt adorn the walls)."
But Where Has The Rum Gone: Famed tiki bar Tiki-Ti, which I didn't realize was opened in 1961 by a Filipino immigrant named Ray Buhen. Writes the Weekly:
"Tiki-Ti is still going strong in its original location — twelve barstools and a handful of dark, cozy tables, nestled in a lot between KCET’s studios and El Chavo on Sunset Boulevard. Today, Ray’s son and grandson, Mike and Mike Jr., keep alive the traditional recipes, most of which are hardly authentic to the South Seas but were invented right here in Los Angeles (many by Ray Buhen himself). Those passionate about tiki culture as well as those who simply appreciate the Buhens’ dedication to craft have been coming in regularly for years; one die-hard, a chatty character called Rasta Jeff, even has a drink named after him."
The Giant Doughnuts of Los Angeles: Those huge donuts still seen all over town? They're all remnants of the old Big Donut Drive-In chain. The Weekly fills us in:
"The original of the chain, 24-hour Kindle’s Giant Donut on South Normandie Avenue at West Century Boulevard, built in 1950, brings in its share of sketchy insomniacs. But Randy’s Donuts in Inglewood, the most familiar landmark of the six, has the best doughnuts at midnight. The jelly doughnuts contain denture-annihilating seeds, the glaze slays, and the devil’s food cake tastes like heaven instead of hell. It has pleasantly horrible coffee and mascot Randy, although one corner of the drive-through roof has fallen victim to too many tall-profile vehicles over the years."
Best Mall for Actual Rats: Even the Beverly Center's regular shoppers harbor a love/hate relationship with the behemoth monstrosity, an utter eyesore from the outside. But I'd never heard of the mall's rat problems until the Weekly wrote this:
"More vintage luxury liner than modern cruise ship, the Beverly has led a past as colorful as her clientele. In her younger years, the Center fell victim to rodents, an event mall historians refer to as The Great Rat Invasion of 1987. Forced from their homes by booming construction in the nearby Hollywood Hills, hordes of brown tree rats slipped in through open service entrances and escalator gangways. At night they danced about on the Bev’s empty decks, dining on leftovers from the food court. Eventually, exterminators were brought in and the rats jumped ship; exactly how many remains unknown. Toy coffins stuffed with candy rodents went out to the media in celebration."
Best Pirated Loot Spots: We've written many times of our run-ins with the pirated DVD sellers in Santee Alley (who always scurry when I approach -- do I look like a narc?). The Weekly fills us in on exactly where to buy the illegal small-screen booty:
Santee Alley (between Olympic Boulevard and 12th Street in the Fashion District), MacArthur Park (Alvarado Street and Wilshire Boulevard), MTA Rail Lines (all over L.A. County)
Best Way to Reclaim the Airwaves: No pirate-themed issue would be complete without a mention of local pirate radio. Unfortunately, L.A.'s early-to-mid-90s reign as a hotbed of pirate activity as waned, as no one has come along to carry on the work of famed stations KBLT or Pirate Cat Radio. The Weekly ignores those two, for some reason, but does mention some new ones -- including an outlet from a famous source:
"Los Angeles has at least six (four east of the L.A. River) free-radio stations being run by individuals and/or collectives. One of those freedom fighters is Zacarias de la Rocha, ex–Rage Against the Machine rhyme spitter, who, according to 2005 FCC records, was sent a warning letter to his home."
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