Blogger Toddler and the Broken Ceramic Horse Wolf

Of all the things in the world for Evan to break in a story, it had to be this thing. An incredibly ugly, blue, paint-splattered ('80s style!) ceramic horse wolf. That costs, believe it or not, $18.99.

My big mistake: Taking Evan inside that crappy Critters store in Montrose. Blogger Toddler loves riding the mechanical horse and race car in front of the shop -- and at 25 cents, they're the best deal on store amusement rides around.

But this time, we ventured inside. It's truly a collection of the kind of ugly tsotchkes like, well, a blue, paint-splattered ceramic horse. Evan grabbed three or four animals, and started galloping them on the floor before I had a chance to stop him. Then, as I told him to stop, he hit one hard on the floor.

You guess it -- the blue, paint-splattered one. The foot came off.

I thought fast. And I know some of you are gonna judge, so go ahead, judge. But I put it back on the shelf and hoped no one would see.

Don't worry, the fates intervened. And indeed, the Critters clerk did see. And demanded that I come over to the register, where she scolded me for trying to hide the evidence.

$20 later, I'm now the proud owner of a blue, paint-splattered ceramic horse wolf. It's already the front runner for this year's Christmas white elephant gift.

As for Critters, they shouldn't be too upset. Yeah, that was pretty rude of me. But they ultimately sold a crappy $20 trinket they would have never sold otherwise! (Considering its a store geared in part toward kids, why put such fragile and crappy stuff so close to the ground anyway? If I were a conspiracy theorist, I'd argue they want toddlers to come in and break the otherwise unsaleable crap!)