Yup, Yup: A Taste of the Early 1990s, As Cinefamily Screens Vanilla Ice's "Cool As Ice"

For my final night as a thirtysomething, I was home mulling my elderly status when my pal Jeff Goldsmith gave a call. He was going to catch a Cinefamily screening of "Cool As Ice," Vanilla Ice's 1991 cinematic masterpiece. Would I come with?

Word to your mother.

The showing of "Cool As Ice" (which astoundingly doesn't include a performance of "Ice, Ice Baby") was part of the Cinefamily's "Heavy Midnites" series of late-night movies, described as "A carefully curated collection of pizza party classics, fist explosions, international adrenaline-pumpers, ‘80s funbombs, white-hot laugh factories, total freakazoids and more. But this is no MST3K chucklethon; this is a dedicated study of all that is, and can be, AWESOME."

Future screenings include Kid n' Play's "Class Act." But on Friday night, "Cool as Ice" attracted a packed house -- as well as Vanilla Ice's co-star, Kristin Minter (who was honest about the whole experience).

Does "Cool As Ice" hold up? Of course not. It didn't even hold up the moment it came out, and Minter says Vanilla Ice didn't help things by bringing a gun into Gelson's around the same time the movie came out. Ice got in trouble, and the studio wanted to downplay it. This was also the era when Vanilla Ice was dating Madonna -- and Minter says she used a lot of mouthwash before kissing the rapper, in case some STD was transmitted.

"Cool As Ice" has plenty of unintentionally funny moments, mostly when Ice is given another ridiculous line. But it's also fascinating in that "Cool As Ice" contains so many cira-1991 cliches that it looks like a parody of the era that might be filmed now.

From Cinefamily, here's a trailer:



And here's how Cinefamily expertly describes the film: "Drop that zero and get with the hero. In the annals of star-fueled vanity projects, few have more hypercolor intensity, badass B-Boy attitude or straight-up white-boy funk than Vanilla Ice’s feature film debut. A rap-centric cinematic progeny of Marlon Brando’s The Wild One, Cool As Ice features our man as Johnny Van Owen: a freewheeling, motorcycle-riding rebel-with-a-heart-of-gold who stops in a small town, falls in love and has to battle both jealous boyfriends and brutal kidnappers, all on his way to the next gig. But first he’s gonna have to deal with one mighty pissed-off dad (Family Ties’ Michael Gross), and a crew that just don’t understand. It’s a full-on neon ‘90s invasion into backwoods Americana, disowned by the director, nearly abandoned by its studio and lensed by future cinematography Hall of Famer Janusz Kamiński (who would go on to win an Oscar for Schindler’s List just two years later.) But it’s also a raging good time, and a reminder of what it is to be young. Did we also mention the killer soundtrack, featuring “4 new songs” by the man himself?"

An Emmet Otter Jugband Christmas at the Cinefamily

Having grown up with HBO in the early 1980s, I still remember one of the pay cable network's holiday staples: "Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas." The Jim Henson special, which originally ran in 1977, was an annual HBO tradition.

The Cinefamily is resurrecting that tradition, and on Christmas day, no less.

Cinefamily's "Emmet Otter" screening will take place on Dec. 25 at 4 p.m. Tickets - $12/$8 children under 12/free for members. Here's the backstory:

Nothing brings us back to the post-gift openin’, egg nog-drinkin’, family-lovin’ goodness of Christmas morning quite like Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas. This touching tale of a widow otter and her son Emmet’s struggle to give each other the best possible Christmas finds Emmet’s jug band competing for a cash prize in a talent contest -- but will the rowdy Riverbottom Gang and their wild hard rock band The Nightmare beat them to it? One of the most charming holiday stories since It’s A Wonderful Life, Jim Henson’s 1977 made-for-TV classic features amazing tunes by Muppet Movie songsmith Paul Williams, and, in contrast to the typical Muppet style of puppetry, its loveable river animals are portrayed more realistically than they ever had before, thanks to advancements in radio-controlled puppet effects. The afternoon’s program also includes a selection of highlights from other Muppet Christmas specials!

Tickets are $12, or $8 for children under 12. The Cinefamily is housed at the Silent Movie Theatre, 611 N. Fairfax Ave.

In Celebration of "Fred Rated" and the Shadoe

Here's a pretty unlikely retrospective: The Cinefamily is holding a screening featuring Shadoe Stevens' work in the 1980s as the wacky spokesperson for The Federated Group. The event will also screen Stevens' cable special "Shadoevision."

The one-time "American Top 40" host and "Hollywood Squares" announcer will be on hand as well.

Here's the description:

Who knew that commercials could be this much fun?! One of the most berserk, outrageous and unforgettable TV comedies of the 1980s, doled out thirty seconds at a time, was the unending series of wacky, ultra-fast-paced commercial spots for the So Cal electronics chain The Federated Group that starred "Fred Rated", the half-insane "Bass-O-Matic"-style spokesman with a smooth baritone and a suave smile (played by broadcasting legend Shadoe Stevens). Before he was the voice of "Hollywood Squares", Stevens and his round-the-clock gung-ho skeleton crew tirelessly cranked out highly memorable, frenetic nuggets of dadaist Monty Python-esque video art disguised in the form of VCR and car stereo ads -- amassing the astounding figure of over 1000 genius commercials in the span of just a few years, and leaving an indelible mark on the psyche of every L.A. TV-watcher.

Event takes place at the Cinefamily (611 N. Fairfax-- the old Silent Movie Theatre) on Tuesday, June 15th at 8 p.m. and 11 p.m. Tickets are $12.

Here are a few "Fred Rated" spots to whet your appetite:

Cinefamily Kids Around with "Yo Gabba Gabba"

Clear your Fridays in May: The Cinefamily is showcasing a series of obscure and funky kids-oriented films and TV programs from the 1970s and 1980s. And here's the cool part: It's being curated by "Yo Gabba Gabba's" DJ Lance (Lance Robertson), as well as animation producer Kevin Sukho Lee.

The event includes "Animation Night: European Stop-Motion Favorites" shown with "Hugo The Hippo" on May 7; "Infra-Man" shown with "Godzilla vs. Megalon" on May 14; "J.T." shown with "The Wiz" on May 21; and Mondo Krofft-O (feat. "Pufnstuf") on May 28.

They're calling the event "The Big Blue Marble" (which, you may recall, was a popular early 1980s kids TV show).

Also, on Tuesday, May 11, the folks behind "Yo Gabba Gabba" will hold a screening, discussion and more, centered on the origins and inspirations behind their hip tot hit.

More info here. (Scroll down for the "Big Blue Marble" info.)

The Cinefamily
611 N Fairfax Avenue
Los Angeles 90036
323-655-2510

Christmas Night with Santa Conquering the Martians

More holiday opportunities for bad movies: If you're looking to do something on Christmas night, the folks at Cinefamily are offering up "Mondo Christmas," featuring the classic "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians."

Here's some info:

When December comes, connoisseurs of cracked cinema have reason to be jolly, for 'tis the season for holiday schlock to flood the TV screen and choke the movie theaters.

Once again, Cinefamily is going to spoil you rotten with all kinds of goodies, including verité footage of department store Santas, misguided movie tie-ins, exhumed cartoons and aborted holiday specials.-- as well as a specially-prepared Xmas video mix from Everything Is Terrible! Finally, in a rare 16mm screening, we'll unwrap Santa Claus Conquers The Martians, the supremely screwy saga of two moron Mars-men who, on orders from their supreme commander, go on reconnaissance to kidnap Saint Nick and bring him back to the "red planet" -- in order to edify all the gift-hungry alien children (including a very young Pia Zadora!) who've somehow heard of our loopy Earthbound holiday customs.

Come celebrate the holidays with the only family that knows what you really want--the Cinefamily. Yule be glad you did.

Santa Claus Conquers The Martians Dir. Nicholas Webster, 1964, 16mm, 81 min.