Happy Presidents Day

Happy Presidents Day to William Henry Harrison, our ninth president. As you remember from history class, Harrison spent just 31 days in office -- pretty much sick the entire time. But hey, on the bright side, that means he's better remembered than Zachary Taylor, and his name hasn't been bastardized into the title of a horribly unfunny comic strip.

Daily News Readers: Pro-Cancer, Anti-Funny

If I had a subscription to the Daily News, I'd cancel it today in protest. (I should have bought a subscription in support of the paper while I had a chance.) That's because the Daily News has reversed course, and just days after dropping the World's Least Funny Comic Strip -- Mallard Fillmore -- it's bringing the panel back.

Whaaa? Sad to say, according to editor Ron Kaye in this editor's note, Daily News readers supposedly demanded it back. (Oh, San Fernando Valley, how can we knock some sense into you?!):

To our readers:

I'm sorry we messed up your comics but grateful so many of you have let us know about it and told us what you want.

We're going to fix it as well as we can as fast as we can. "For Better or For Worse," "Funky Winkerbean" and "Mallard Fillmore" were at the top of your list, and we're going to get those back in the daily LA.COM section within a matter of days. We also are bringing back the horoscope you like and some other comics and features that are clearly very popular.

We literally received thousands of calls and e-mails and despite being upset with us, me in particular, nearly everybody has been patient and understanding. I've long believed we had the best readers in the world, and now I know it for sure.

Best readers in the world? Questionable. Least funny readers in the world, perhaps.

But the Daily News readers wanted their dose of depressing, cancer-obsessed Funky Winkerbean (above) as well, so between that and Mallard Fillmore, I rest my case.

Previously: Daily News Readers Want Their Funky Winkerbean

Daily News Readers Want Their "Funky Winkerbean"

Newspapers rarely hear from angrier readers than when they mess with the comics. So the Daily News' decision to completely revamp its section -- and drop a whole lot of moldy oldies -- has many up in arms.

The Daily News' Friendly Fire blog admits as much. I particularly love this one passionate reader's plea to save "Funky Winkerbean" (wow, that strip still exists?!):

What have you done with Funky Winkerbean? We are following the tragic story of cancer and now, the cartoon is not in its regular space. Please return it so we can follow the story. Thanks, Brenda

Because, after all, nothing brightens up the Funny Pages more than a strip featuring a "tragic story of cancer." Sheesh. But for all of you missing a dose of "Funky" today, here it is, above. Apparently it's A Very Special Dialogue-Free Funky Winkerbean today.

Here's another Daily News reader whose taste also runs from the unfunny to the unfunny:

Dinette Set, For Better or Worse, Funky Winkerbean, Garfield, One Big Happy, Hagar The Horrible, Beetle Bailey and Willy 'n Ethel...the removal of my favorite 8 (count 'em, eight) comics from your pages begs the question, "Why?".
Anyone with a synapse cracking must assume it is a question of money. The replacements must be less expensive. By the way, if a poll were done prior to this then I missed it. I'm amazed someone didn't come up with the "Paris 'n Posh" section to replace the comics completely.
I have two suggestions. 1) Fire the "Comics Editor". 2) Bring back the comics named above.
If these daily comics aren't back in the "new LA.COM" within the month, please cancel my daily paper.
Barbara Kussman

On the positive tip, the Daily News has axed the brutally unfunny "Mallard Fillmore," several months after the L.A. Times did the same thing. That makes Los Angeles a "Mallard Fillmore"-free zone!

"La Cucaracha" Back In, But What About "Candorville"?

That was fast. The L.A. Times has changed its mind on "La Cucaracha," restoring the strip to its funny pages as of Wednesday.

As a result, one of several old-time strips that have outlived their creators (and are now drawn by someone else), "Heathcliff," will get the ax. Don't worry, "Mallard Fillmore" is still dead.

"La Cucaracha," by Lalo Alcaraz, made a comeback after readers, furious over the dropping of the Times' only fully Latino-themed strip, apparently emailed the paper in huge numbers.



But what about Darrin Bell's "Candorville," which featured the comics pages' only leading, strong Latina female character? "Candorville" is smart, frequently funny and often the only strip tackling tough subjects like Hurricane Katrina in a satiric way. (Actually, it's the only strip still regularly bringing Katrina up.)

"Candorville" was also the only strip in the LAT with multi-ethnic leading characters: Frustrated writer Lemont Brown, his childhood friend Susan Garcia, and wannabe rapper Clyde (that's "C-Dog" to you). How 'bout we also finally put "Marmaduke" out of its misery and let "Candorville" return as well?

After all, if we're getting rid of the last remaining cat strip ("Heathcliff") on the LAT funny pages, it's only fair to ax the dog one as well.

Here's what the L.A. Times wrote today. Notice how they misspelled "Heathcliff." Truly it was time to put the garbage can-diving cat out of his misery (joining "Garfield," which was cut from the paper several years ago):

"La Cucaracha," one of several comics dropped this week as part of a shift in The Times' daily and Sunday print edition feature lineup, is returning to The Times' daily comics pages starting Wednesday. We decided to bring it back after hearing from so many of our readers who follow the comic strip loyally. "La Cucaracha" will return to our Sunday pages starting March 25.

To make room for the change, "Healthcliff" is being dropped Monday through Saturday along with "Mallard Fillmore," "Candorville" and "Mr. Boffo."

Meanwhile, the What's Wrong With Mallard Fillmore website celebrates the L.A. Times' move.

Ding-Dong, "Mallard Fillmore" Is Dead! And More Big Changes on the LAT Funnies Page

My prayers have been answered. The least funny comic in the history of comics -- and I'm including purposely unfunny "Rex Morgan, M.D." in the list -- has been axed from the Los Angeles Times.

Yes, sound the trumpets: "Mallard Fillmore" is no more, at least inside the LAT. (Sorry, Daily News readers.)

The "Mallard" dump is part of the latest Los Angeles Times funnies downsizing, which we wrote about earlier this morning. The paper has dropped its "Kids' Reading Pages" (sorry kids, you're expendable) -- where several comics, including "Peanuts" and "Heathcliff," resided. To squeeze those kid-friendly strips back on the two-page comics spread, several others had to go.



That includes "Mallard Fillmore," which I just ranted about last month:

Could it be possible? The terribly unfunny comic strip "Mallard Fillmore" appears to have become even less funny in recent months. Recently, the strip spent the entire week trying to draft an obscure economist for president. And above, the strip is making some sort of muddled point about people in China eating dogs (?!) Huh?

Look closer at that strip above. It's virtually all words, save a drawing of a dead dog and a tiny pic of the comic's namesake star. So not only is the strip unfunny, but it's not even visually appealing. Why, why, why does the Los Angeles Times insist on running such an amateur operation?

Other strips getting the ax: The liberal-leaning "Candorville" (which I kind of liked), the goofy "Mr. Boffo," and the one stirring up the most controversy this morning, Lalo Alcaraz's "La Cucaracha."



When "La Cucaracha" debuted in 2002, I wanted to like it. I really did. And some strips, especially the early ones, were pretty amusing. But more recently, the strip has had a hard time finding a laugh. Like last week's week-long collection of Anna Nicole Smith-inspired panels, like the one above.

In cutting back, it appears that the L.A. Times opted to stick with just two overtly political strips: One from the left (Doonesbury) and one from the right (Prickly City).

Also, the paper has once again shrunk down "Doonesbury" to match the size of the other strips. You'll remember they did the same thing in 2005 in the wake of a previous comics downsize. After readers complained, they unshrunk it a week later.

I'll Tell You What's Wrong With Mallard Fillmore: It's Never Been Funny

Could it be possible? The terribly unfunny comic strip "Mallard Fillmore" appears to have become even less funny in recent months. Recently, the strip spent the entire week trying to draft an obscure economist for president. And above, the strip is making some sort of muddled point about people in China eating dogs (?!) Huh?

Look closer at that strip above. It's virtually all words, save a drawing of a dead dog and a tiny pic of the comic's namesake star. So not only is the strip unfunny, but it's not even visually appealing. Why, why, why does the Los Angeles Times insist on running such an amateur operation?

This isn't the first time I've ranted about the strip. In 2005, I wrote:

Ultraconservative strip "Mallard Fillmore" (seen here both in the L.A. Times and Daily News) remains consistently bad -- and I'm not even talking about its politics. The strip violates the cardinal rule of political humor: Above all, be funny.

I think even most conservatives would agree, they deserve better than "Fillmore." Even "Prickly City," the L.A. Times' other right-leaning strip, has its moments and is at least character-driven. "Fillmore" claims to have characters, but in reality contains no hearty cast of characters and no ongoing storylines (and very, very rarely transcends politics). "Mallard" simply has a rant of the day, either tweaking a headline in the news or going for a cheap "liberals are stupid" joke. Yawn.

By the way, this week "Mallard" dusted off an always-fresh Bill Clinton-is-a-philanderer joke. Ahh, it's like it's still 1998 in Mallard Country!

I'm obviously not the only one who can't believe "Mallard" has scored the kind of distribution it has. One of my favorite new blogs, Whats Wrong With Mallard Fillmore, does a much better job than me explaining why "Mallard" is possibly the worst comic strip of all times.

The blog's tagline says it all: "A daily analysis of the comic strip which manages to be less funny than Mary Worth."