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Thursday, August 7, 2003

Whatchoo Talkin' Bout, Arnold?! (And Gallagher too!)
Yeah, yeah, Arnold Schwarzenegger's running for Governor. Yeah, it's a shocker.

But hello, here's the real story: GARY friggin' COLEMAN is running!

Now, if you've been paying attention, you know I've been pushing for the entry of kitsch B-list stars like Gary Coleman (see my August 1 post) for some time. Looks like others had the same idea. The Oakland-based alternative newspaper the East Bay Express got the $3500 and 65 signatures and drafted Coleman, who was more than happy to file. According to Gary, the papers were sent in Wednesday and he'll officially be on the ballot. Yes!

Here's what I write in Thursday's Variety:

The candidacy of the former "Diff'rent Strokes" star hadn't been expected. It should resonate with the fans-of-cheesy-early-'80s-sitcom-stars-turned-E!-True-Hollywood-Story-subject constiuency. Coleman told Daily Variety he wouldn't give up his candidacy, even though he believed Schwarzenegger had a lock on the campaign.

"I think the election is over," Coleman said. "People will be coming from all around the world to cast their vote for Schwarzenegger. He'll win."

Coleman's campaign includes a call for a state flat tax as well as a move toward alternative energy resources.

"I do have some valid, serious ideas and opinions, and I think there is a chance I could win," he said.

Asked "whatchoo talkin' 'bout," Coleman said his platform was two-fold: "I say, people first, corporations second, and I'm the least qualified guy who could probably do the best job."

Other famous -- and infamous -- candidates on the ballot include billboard bimbo Angelyne (a recent Hollywood mayoral candidate as well) and alleged comic Gallagher, whose watermelon-smashing antics wowed easily amused crowds in the 1980s.

As printed on his Web site, Gallagher's platform includes seceding from the union and requiring the Spanish version of the Star Spangled Banner sung at 50% of all state sporting events.

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