OSCAR RECAP: Well, That Wasn't Very Intereszzzz...

Some memorable moments and observations from the 80th Annual Academy Awards. We don't get to see movies much these days -- blame the Blogger Toddler -- and so we didn't have much of an investment in this year's awards. (Apparently, neither did many other viewers.) Yet we stuck it out to the end, watching all 3+ hours of this year's Oscarcast.

The highlights:


Funniest Moment of the Entire Night: During the "Night at the Academy Awards" post-telecast on KABC, host George Pennacchio had managed to wrangle host Jon Stewart into a one-on-one interview.

Which was fine... until the guy on the left came along and yanked Jon from the interview. "One second," the unknown assailant told George. "I've known this guy forever (referring to Stewart)."

Suddenly, Pennacchio was live on air, forced to improvise, while Stewart caught up with his pal. Pennacchio counted backward -- "3, 2, 1," and Stewart finally returned. "That's never happened to me before," the long-time KABC "entertainment guru" said.

"Were we live?" asked an exhausted Stewart, who then answered Pennacchio's non-questions with non-answers.

Meanwhile, back in the studio, hosts Richard Roeper and Marc Brown couldn't believe what just happened either. Roeper went as far as calling the guy who pulled Stewart aside a "jerk."


Best-Dressed of the Night: Diablo Cody's tattoo.


Biggest Whaaaa? of the Night: OK, I clearly don't know fashion, but I still don't get what Tilda Swinton is wearing. One long sleeve, one not? C'mon, she's wearing a black plastic bag.


Kinda Offensive Telecast Moment: Host Jon Stewart touched on politics in his monologue, noting the landmark race between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. That's even unprecedented for Hollywood, he quipped: "Normally, when you see a black man or a woman president an asteroid is about to hit the Statue of Liberty."

Big laughs. But now take one guess, out of everyone in the audience, at whose reaction the ABC camera immediately cut to in the crowd. Check it out above.

Yup, a staple of awards show telecasts: If a host is referencing something about an ethnic group, or sexual orientation, or anything that involves a certain group, cameras usually seek out a reaction to someone from said group. Kudofest Profiling?


Semi-Creepy Celeb Moment: OK, we know Oscar winner Javier Bardem loves his mom, and gave a great speech (mostly in Spanish). But the extent of that affection -- the smooch above (from after he returned to his seat) -- left me feeling a bit uncomfortable.


Most Unfortunate Commercial: There I was, snacking away, until H&R Block decided to go this direction. Half-naked middle-aged men? Oh crap, I better file my taxes! I don't know whether to thank the tax prep business or smack 'em.


Biggest Elephant in the Room: Hey Owen Wilson, you just gonna act like that little thing six months ago about you and a hospital room and slashed wrists never happened?


Most Handy Screen Grab From This Year's Telecast: Looks like we'll be forging Paul Mazursky's name and sneaking into Academy screenings next year.


Biggest "Watching Paint Dry" Moment: Yes, that's Academy president Sid Ganis in front of PriceWaterhouseCoopers, explaining the Oscar balloting process. Can Nielsen measure audience yawns?


Best Hair-do: "Uh, hi, we're with the Motion Picture Academy, we're here to film a segment with Elton for the Oscars."

"Oh, Elton just woke up and hasn't had time to get ready. Oh, what the hell, go on in. You can fix any embarrassing images in post, right?"

"Ummmm, surrrre!"