Don't Forget the Other Truth About Schwarzenegger

(AP Photo/Rich Pedroncelli)

Don't forget, besides the housekeeper, Arnold also spent the last 8 years screwing California. THANK YOU, GOOD NIGHT! TIP YOUR WAITERS!

(By the way, love the creepiness of this AP photo.)

Hey Japan, the Governator Wants You to Visit

I believe this translates to, "Come see how I destroyed California. Flights daily!"

(Actually, according to Japan Probe, the slogan says something to the effect of "It's got everything-fornia.")

Found via Gawker.

The View from Schwarzenegger's Desk

The Governator tweeted this photo this other day, I guess to help his poll numbers among Flat Stanley fans. But the interesting parts of this (obviously staged) photo come from what else is on his desk: A sheet of Schwarzenegger's talking points IN A VERY LARGE FONT SIZE... and, of course, the copy of what appears to be some sort of muscle magazine (with what I assume is his photo on the front, of course, under the cover blurb "Train Like An Icon").

California State Budget Concessions You Didn't Hear About

(Photo by Rich Pedroncelli/AP)
"Ha ha ha! WE JUST DESTROYED YOUR STATE."

The California budget stalemate is finally over -- and now the real pain begins. As state programs are cut to the bone and assistance plans reduced to nothing, it's probably time to remind you that the state partly has itself to blame for electing Schwarzenegger in the first place.

Too bad no one warned you at the time about what a mess the Governator would be. Oh wait. THEY DID.

But whatever. So Schwarzenegger didn't succeed in reforming Sacramento, only presiding over the further collapse of the state. Kids and poor people don't elect lawmakers, so why not hit them the hardest. Am I right, folks?

Term limits. A proposition system run amok. Impossible-to-achieve voting thresholds to approve a budget. Wrong-headed tax cuts.

And then... a circus of a recall election in 2003 -- which was brought on by, well, what? The fact that Gray Davis was a dullard? The fact that a movie star wanted to be governor? The fact that so many people could easily be swayed by bombastic talk radio hosts? If it's true that you get the government that you deserve, then someone must have really wanted to punish California.

Most of all, our indifference as citizens in how California is run has finally bit us in the ass. We wanted it all: No taxes, yet great schools and plenty of social services for all. We wanted government to run smoothly, yet we wanted to shuffle in new politicians every few years. We wanted to protect the environment, yet we're pissed at how expensive our gas is.

LA Biz Observed has a smart roundup on why this new budget really won't solve anything.

But here are a few more California budget concessions you might not have read elsewhere:

:: "8th Grade" replaced by "Year-long Caltrans apprenticeship."

:: California State Lottery restructured into one great big Ponzi scheme.

:: Cal State Northridge to be replaced by "Cal State Wikipedia."

:: State lifeguards replaced by DVD copies of "Baywatch," season two.

:: Naming rights to the California State Song put up to auction; winner Diddy chooses "Swagga Like Puff."

:: "Cop-Free Fridays." Seriously, you're on your own every Friday. Stay out of trouble.

:: San Diego has been sold to the Tijuana Cartel for an undisclosed sum.

:: Schwarzenegger and state lawmakers announce a budget deal. Social services, assistance cut. State also plans to close down Fresno. Sorry, Fresno.

Your Answer to What Caused California's Economic Crisis: All of the Above

Last week, we asked you to pick which factor most contributed to the mess California finds itself in. Not too surprisingly, given the magnitude of our Sacramento disaster, most of you chose "all of the above." And it's true, not just one symptom got us into this mess, it was a perfect storm of idiocy. And everyone's to blame. Where would we be right now without Prop 13, without that 2/3rds requirement to pass a budget, without term limits, without our crazy proposition system, and without Gov. Schwarzenegger?

Probably in a state that hadn't gone belly up. But we'll never know.

Meanwhile, here are the other write-in votes you added:

The Wednesday Poll: Who Caused California's Economic Collapse?

The State's Big Two-Thirds Problem

You sure wouldn't confuse the majority of California's elected GOP lawmakers with "Profiles in Courage." Rather than admit that desperate times call for desperate measures -- and these, indeed, are desperate times -- most of those state Legislature members would rather see California collapse and go insolvent, too afraid that they might be attacked by radio talk show hosts or by opponents in the next election.

Now, with the state Senate one vote shy of passing its compromise budget, things are about to get ugly. Gov. Schwarzenegger -- remember him? He's that actor guy who promised to save California, remember? -- is now set to lay off 10,000 state workers. He'll also now be forced to 275 more public works projects.

From the L.A. Times:

The projects, which include upgrades to 18 bridges and roads in Los Angeles to protect them from collapsing in earthquakes and cost $3.8 billion, had been allowed to continue operating as others were suspended because the state was running out of cash.

The projects to be suspended today had been exempted from a November order to stop public works because of the significant financial cost of canceling contracts, the expense of resuming them or the public-health or public-safety ramifications. The list also includes work to eliminate arsenic in the City of Live Oak and half-built highway construction projects.

Schwarzenegger had delayed sending out pink slips since Friday, hoping that lawmakers would soon approve a budget. But they failed Monday to find a third GOP vote in the state Senate to achieve the two-thirds majority needed to pass a budget -- a requirement that essentially gives the minority Republicans veto power. A spokesman for Schwarzenegger said the layoff notices would go out today.

There's the real culprit -- That insane two-thirds majority rule. It's why we have budget stalemates every year. And why, ultimately, we wind up with a budget that no one's happy with. Indeed, we're one of just three states (Arkansas and Rhode Island are the other two) that require such a high bar to pass a budget.

Meanwhile, George Skelton notes that the Legislature members need to do the math: Unless the state cuts virtually everything to zero, a tax increase has to be part of the solution. And by the way, the pain is passed around enough that no one indeed will, or is supposed to be happy: $15.1 billion in spending reductions, $14.4 billion in tax increases and $11.4 billion in borrowing. Everyone's holding their nose -- but the alternative is even more foul.

Retro Friday: A Very Special Christmas

OK, one more Christmas-related video... and then we'll see you next week. From the magic of YouTube: A clip from what appears to be a 1988 Christmas special dedicated to the Special Olympics -- the organization founded by Eunice Kennedy Shriver, hence the appearance of so many Kennedys (including Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger). Marvel at this performance of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town," featuring Schwarzenegger, Mike Tyson (yes, Mike Tyson), Randy Travis and others.

And with that, we say, Happy Holidays!

Conflicting Messages for Motorists out of Sacramento

Let's get this straight:

The Governatorhas signed a bill outlawing texting or reading your wireless device while driving:

He signed legislation banning drivers from sending, writing or reading messages on electronic devices starting in January.

Two months ago, drivers were barred from talking on cell phones except with hands-free devices.

“Building on legislation already helping save lives in California,” said Schwarzenegger in a press release, “I am happy to sign this bill because it further encourages safe and responsible driving.”

The bill, SB 28 by Sen. Joe Simitian (D-Palo Alto), imposes a $20 fine for a first offense and $50 fine for each subsequent violation.

We're all guilty of doing this -- well, I, ahem, have been known to check my email on the road. BUT, always at a red light. Does this outlaw that too? I guess it's hard to make a distinction between driving while texting and idling while texting. And I reluctantly agree, this is a good idea, and will prevent many a fender bender.

So....

It's mighty confusing to read that state legislators are mulling a plan that would cause bigtime freeway distractions, cause traffic jams and perhaps even accidents.

The difference: The Driving-While-Texting industry doesn't have much sway in Sacramento. The outdoor advertising industry, on the other hand, has become BFFs with lawmakers in recent years.



In this case, outdoor advertisers have proposed new, colorful LED freeway signs. The catch? They want to use the billboards for advertising in between Amber Alerts and Caltrans messages. The skinny:

The money-making scheme, already broached to federal officials who allocate highway funds, would allow businesses to post ads on California's 674 electronic roadside message boards.

State officials figure the cash-strapped highway fund could make millions by allowing ads when the signs are not in use for emergencies.

But some traffic safety advocates say the potential revenue is not worth the costs of tempting drivers to take their eyes off the road.

"The biggest issue with digital billboards is they are enormously distracting to motorists," said Kevin E. Fry, a traffic safety advocate and longtime billboard opponent.

Others express concern that ads would add visual blight and change the purpose of a system meant to save children and help drivers.

The idea for the signs came from Clear Channel Outdoor, a billboard company that potentially stands to gain from the proposal.

Aha, Clear Channel. Why am I not surprised?

Oh Yes, Let This Come True: Recall Schwarzenegger

Mary Carey (above), Gary Coleman and Arianna Huffington, start raising some cash: We could have another California recall election, if the California Correctional Peace Officers Assn. has its way.

And why not? Arnold Schwarzenegger stormed into office by promising to solve the state's economic woes. Instead, we're in worse shape now than we were when Gray Davis was in office.

The L.A. Times writes:

The state's well-financed prison guards union, the California Correctional Peace Officers Assn., is initiating a recall effort against Schwarzenegger, a union spokesman said today. The governor and the union have been at odds for years; they have been unable to agree to a new contract for the guards, whose labor agreement expired in the middle of 2006.

The governor last fall invoked a rare provision of state law allowing him to unilaterally impose new working conditions on the union in the absence of a deal.

Lance Corcoran, a spokesman for the union, today said the contract dispute has nothing to do with the recall effort.

"This is a governor that has done absolutely nothing," Corcoran said in an interview. "We have the largest budget deficit in the history of California. We have one of the longest budget stalemates."

Schwarzenegger, a Republican, won office in 2003 in the recall of Democrat Gray Davis, partly on promises that he would get state finances under control and rein in its heavy borrowing. The state now has a projected $15.2-billion deficit.

The governor's popularity has been sinking this year. His approval ratings, however, are still above 40%, according to recent polls.

"I think people recognize that this is a guy that spent his life posing," Corcoran said. "That's what he did as a bodybuilder, he posed, and that's what he's done as governor."

The union has been one of the state's most influential political players by spending more than $3 million in dues it collects each year from 34,000 members. Corcoran did not specify how much the union would contribute to a recall campaign. He said, "CCPOA's never been shy about spending whatever it takes to get the job done."

We had a lot of fun with the recall here at Franklin Avenue five years ago. Let's do it again! Although this time, I really want to raise the money and get the signatures to run myself.

Schwarzenegger Gets a Tranny

You read that right: The California Transportation Foundation, which declares itself "Dedicated to the Promotion and Recognition of Excellence in California Transportation," hands out annual awards to individuals, organizations and projects that were tops in transportation for the year.

They call it... The TRANNY Award.

Schwarzenegger scored a Tranny for his support in 2006 of Propositions 1A and 1B. Most of the other winners last year were for Northern California projects.

Want your own Tranny? Nominations for the 2008 award were due on March 1. Perhaps "Project Runway" winner Christian Siriano will host.

Los Angeles-Centric TV Programming Notes

Two upcoming TV pointers for the L.A. city nerds (not to be confused with the still-MIA L.A. City Nerd) out there:



:: "Planet L.A.," this Saturday at 8 p.m. on KTLA, is a two-hour look at the future of our metropolis. Special, billed as part of KTLA's 60th anniversary, promises to "explore what makes Los Angeles such a desirable place to live."

Jymm Adams, who produced the special (and who I occasionally speak to for my job) writes:

With 5 million people predicted to move here in the next 20-30 years we'll look ahead to see what our city will look like in the future by examining how our neighborhoods will change and what we can expect in traffic, housing, jobs, healthcare, available water and the environment.

We call it Planet LA -- If you were born here you will see things you've never seen before and if you're from elsewhere, you'll remember why you came.

Special, produced in high def, includes interviews with Governor Schwarzenegger, Mayor Villaraigosa and others.



:: Everyone's favorite slide show man (and quirky Southern California tour guide) Charles Phoenix shows up on "The Martha Stewart Show" on Oct. 3.

Phoenix will present his collection of "Retro Halloween Slides." As most of you know, Phoenix is behind the popular Retro Slide Show performances featuring humorous takes of classic 40s/50s/60s/70s shots of Americana.

Pimp My Schwarzengger Ride

Yes, that's our esteemed Governator making an appearance on MTV's "Pimp My Ride."

Ahnuld joins host Xzibit and the Pimp My Ride crew as they make over a 1965 Chevy Impala in order to make it more eco-friendly:

Schwarzenegger, Mad Mike and the crew of Pimp My Ride give the Impala an ecological make over on the show's season premiere, which takes place on Earth Day (Apr. 22).

"I would like to thank MTV and the entire Pimp My Ride crew for shining the spotlight on the importance of alternative fuels and the fight against global warming," Governor Schwarzenegger said in a statement. "I am very encouraged by the great potential in converting vehicles to run on biodiesel as a way to reduce greenhouse gas emissions," said Governor Schwarzenegger. "I am pleased that the power of MTV's message will reach an audience throughout California and the nation to reinforce the benefits of alternative-fuel vehicles and protecting our environment."

The special edition features the Impala getting an 800 horsepower Duramax diesel engine that will run on biodiesel fuel, educating viewers during the show about the benefits of ecological friendly cars.

Now, if they had only pimped Schwarzenegger's Hummers, and made those vehicles more eco-friendly. Oh well.