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Friday, August 13, 2004

Maria's Pipe Dreams

Yup, the new house woes continue... I'm currently talking to several plumbers about fixing our pipes once and for all so that we can, oh, I dunno, use toilet paper again without fearing a bathroom meltdown.

As many of you probably know, it's tough to find a economical plumber who will still do top-notch work. Maria has another idea: She forwarded this Daily Candy item to me yesterday:





PRETTY YOUNG WOMAN sips her morning latte.

Ding dong!

"Goodness. I wonder who that could be," she says aloud, doe-eyed, her hair tied in messy pigtails. She opens the front door, clad in a negligee.

HANDSOME MAN stands before her, his hair slicked back with sweat. He wears a tool belt and a tank top.

ZOOM IN: HIS TIGHT JEAN SHORTS

"Did somebody call a plumber?"

CUE: HEAVY BASS MUSIC. FADE TO BLACK.

Really, now. Isn't the hot-handyman-comes-to-service-your-pipes fantasy a little played out? Maybe not. Brothers Jimmy and David Schuelke are the plumbers of your dreams. The only way to tell the ridiculously good-looking twins apart is by their monogrammed shirts. But no matter: Both are licensed plumbers, and either will unclog the drain, stop the geyser of water shooting you in the eye, or fix the leak with all-too-rarely-seen efficiency and courtesy. Most important, when it's an emergency -- backed up toilet, perhaps? -- Jimmy and David are there in no time to make sure everything that belongs in the sewer gets there as quickly as possible.

As for getting your mind out of it, that's up to you.


* * * *
Hey, if the brothers Schuelke can free us from the fear of the flush, I'm all for it. But all joking aside, any of you out there have fun plumbing horror stories to tell? Or do you have you found one of the good ones out there? Do tell! And happy Friday the 13th...

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