We're No. 1!

You all know how sour I've been on the new house. If it's not one crisis, it's another twelve. Latest discovery: The garage roof leaks. Yeah, found that out this weekend, during our latest rainstorm. Nice. I'm already looking to fix our house foundation, get a heating/AC unit and resolve other issues; just add this to the list.

But just when I felt like we had made a big mistake, I picked up the December issue of Los Angeles magazine. This month, the pub reveals its annual list of " "The 10 Best Neighborhoods (You've Never Heard Of)."

How cool would it be, I thought to myself, to see our new 'hood in the list! I flipped to the story. Nah, wouldn't happen.

But there it was -- not just on the list, but ranked No. 1!. Our Glendale neighborhood, Adams Hill. This year's top pick for (drum roll, again)... The best damn "undiscovered" neigborhood around.

Indeed, the neighborhood was a strong selling point for us. Like the Los Angeles mag editors, we were pleasantly surprised when we first looked at our house there. This was like no other part of Glendale; why had we never heard of this neighborhood? We saw kids playing in their yards; the streets were well-lit at night; neighbors were friendly and the hillside served as a nice backdrop.

And this truly is a neighborhood on the rise. Since we moved in just this past June, a neighborhood coffeeshop opened up, while planning began on a new park scheduled to open next year near our house.

Here's what the magazine has to say: So where can home buyers priced out of Silver Lake and the Hollywood Hills find the same kind of snaky roads, cosily sandwiched Spanish Revival homes, lush landscaping and mountain breezes? In Glendale, and what's remarkable about the neighborhood of Adams Hill is how un-Glendale it is.

That's not to diss Glendale, once a colorless banking district and now a walkable entertainment and shopping mecca. But Adams Hill is different. Located at the hilly southeastern tip of Glendale near Forest Lawn, the area was incorporated as the town of Tropico in 1911 before being annexed by Glendale in 1918. Gorgeous Spanish Revival homes arose during a building boom in the 1920s and 30s, though the architecture is eclectic...

Bottom line: "Architectural charm and the hush of suburbia with an urban feel and postcard-worthy vistas." Granted, our house is about the size of that postcard's postage stamp... but we'll take it.

Other neighborhoods making the cut: Averill Park (San Pedro), Faircrest Heights (L.A.), Hollywood Dell (Hollywood), Huntington Palisades (Pacific Palisades), Lafayette Square (Mid-City), Mount Angelus (Highland Park), Park Moderne (Calabasas), Seven Hills (Tujunga) and Wild Rose (Monrovia).

Rate-A-Restaurant, #55 in a series

Restaurant: Mamita

Location: 714 S. Brand Blvd., Glendale

Type of restaurant: Peruvian

They stipulated: Wanna use the bathroom? Take a short hike out back... the restrooms are located in a separate, rest stop-like building.

What we ordered: Maria: Lomo Saltado (beef strips stir-fried with french fries, onions and tomatoes, served with rice) $8.50; Mike: Saltado de Pollo con Vegetales (chunks of chicken stir-fried, with zucchini, mushroom, tomato, onions and rice) $9.75

High point: We were hungry and it was late... and not only was Mamita's close by, but it's open until 10 on a Saturday night. We were craving rice and meat, and Mamita fit the bill.

Low point: Mamita isn't much for decor... the restaurant is bright (the lights were on full blast), and wall decorations consist of cheesy murals and head shots of local Spanish language celebs (such as Nueva 101.9's Piolin -- you know the guy, his billboards are everywhere around town)

Overall impression: It's almost impossible to describe Peruvian cuisine. There's a strong Asian influence, thanks to a large number of Peruvians of Japanese ancestry (hence the "Teriyaki de Pollo" on the menu). As for the Lomo Saltado... beef stir fried with french fries? You're kidding, right? Believe it or not, it works. Meanwhile, gotta love that Mamita serves Inka cola.

Chance we will go back: It's been years since I last visited El Pollo Inka, but I remember better food and service at that westside establishment. Still, Mamita is close... I could see us one day visiting again, but I'm not in a rush.

For a complete archive of our Rate-A-Restaurant reviews, check out our companion ratearestaurant.blogspot.com website.

Mike Schneider, Polka King

C'mon, admit it: You've caught yourself "ego-Googling." You know the drill: Type your name in the search engine, and see where you land in the pecking order of people who share your name globally.

Alas, ego-Googling has been a letdown for me, until recently. You wouldn't think so, but the world is crawling with Mike and/or Michael Schneiders. There's a state senator in Nevada (D-Las Vegas). A one-time news anchor turned wannabe politician. A justice on the Texas Supreme Court. A "a postdoctoral researcher in the Stochastic Systems Group." The president, publisher and editor-in-chief of Chocolatier and Pastry Art & Design magazines. There are also several college professors named Michael Schneider -- apparently we're a smart bunch.

But thanks to this blog and Variety's website, I've steadily moved up the "Michael Schneider" ranks... and now wind up as the second or third on the list.

Still, on the "Mike Schneider" side of things, I don't hold a candle to this guy. Ladies and Gentlemen, meet the leader of Wisconsin's top polka group... The Mike Schneider Band.

From the site: Many Catholics have framed pictures of the pope or John F. Kennedy hanging on their walls, but at the Schneiders' house in Brown Deer, it's polka king Frankie Yankovic, front and center. And with good reason. A Yankovic performance at a fair at Our Lady Queen of Peace Church some 12 years ago inspired Schneider's love affair with polka music.

"I liked what I heard," Schneider says. Music lessons soon followed, but, after a year and a half, Schneider, then a seasoned 8-year-old, opted to wing it, teaching himself to play by ear. "I can't read music," he confesses. Before long, he was teaming up with his father, Paul Schneider, who had played in a polka band as a young man, and drummer Dennis Wiskerchen to form the Mike Schneider Band.

Here's the scary part: This Mike Schneider has a niche radio show too! "Polka Parade" airs in Southeastern Wisconsin each Saturday on AM 1250 WEMP from 1 until 4 PM.

(We're a music bunch as well -- another Michael Schneider has appeared on several CDs as a master recorder player. Yes, the recorder-- that thing you played in the fourth grade.)

Sell Out

I used to believe only the absolute insane would wake up early the morning after Thanksgiving to brave those fierce shopping crowds.

This year, I witnessed the insanity firsthand. Turns out I was right.

Maria and I usually avoid those Friday morning zoos... but we got sucked in this year. The Best Buy ad -- conveniently tucked into our Thursday newspaper -- had some pretty good deals. In particular, a JVC camcorder for $199 (after mail-in rebate, of course). With baby on the way, we've been pondering getting one -- and hell, $199 isn't such a bad deal.

The catch: Stock is limited. The sale lasts only until noon. And doors open at 6 a.m.

Normally, we would have said screw it -- and we have, every year up until now. But the thought of not having a camera to record our little one's life moments hit just the right chords. So even though I was up until 2:30 for the radio show, I knew we had to do it. We set the alarm for 5:30 a.m...

And just like that, it was already 5:30. We'd spent the night at Jason and Sherry's house, so Maria dropped me off at Burbank's Empire Center while she sped home to find our several unused Best Buy gift cards. It was then that I realized -- ho, ho, ho, how quaint we were, getting to the store right when it opened at 6.

Clearly we were new to this. The line snaked around the building. I kept walking. Down the side. More walking. Into the back. More walking. Some entrepenurial kids were selling coffee. More walking. Finally found the back of the line -- beyond even the store's dumpsters. Yup, it was going to be a long morning.

Apparently people had started lining up at 9 p.m. the night before -- while Maria and I were still snug at Jason and Sherry's, enjoying "Mean Girls." I rang Maria on her cell. "Get over to the Atwater Village Best Buy! Maybe the line's better over there!" With me positioned in Burbank and Maria at a second location, our chances at scoring the camcorder would improve, yes?

The line slowly moved, but eventually I got inside. It was now 6:45. The place was a madhouse. Customers drove around carts stuffed with cheap-o TVs, DVD players, digital cameras, DVDs, CDs... for many, it was apparent they were buying all that gear just for the sake of buying it. And I gotta admit, the allure is there: After waiting so long to get in -- and actually being there for the super-exclusive 6a.m.-to-noon sale, you really feel like you have to load up on stuff.

I paced around, trying to find the camcorder. A Best Buy employee pointed toward the customer service line. Yes, having waited 45 minutes just to get inside, I now had to queue up again for a shot at actually bringing home one of the few remaining camcorders. It was like Disneyland. But instead of Mickey or Goofy, we had Gabe, the guy trying to sell us a Best Buy extended warranty package.

Meanwhile, Maria was having even less luck in Atwater Village. The phone rings: "It's like the Sarajevo Best Buy," she says -- which is how we usually refer to the war-torn Kmart across the street from the Farmers' Market. Maria had found the customer service line there too, but things were even less friendly. Both the guy in front of her and the guy in back were constantly shoving her.

Slowly I worked my way up the line -- but discovered that the camcorder had to be paid for right there. Maria had the gift cards. I called her up again. "Get over here!"

But no rush. Apparently the customer service folk weren't in a hurry. So my line plodded along. Meanwhile, as the woman in front of me stood guard over her loot, her daughter would disappear, bring back an item, disappear again, then load the cart with something else. Did these people really need three cheap-o, sure-to-break $17 DVD players?

Maria eventually arrived -- but was stuck outside -- yes, even at 7:30, the line still stretched around the block. The guy behind me overheard, and suggested that Maria come to the front door and be escorted in to the customer service desk.

I called her up, and just as I made it to the counter... Maria dashed in, gift cards in hand. I scored the fourth-to-last JVC camcorder, and told Gabe to back off -- a $75 service plan defeats the purpose of buying a $199 camera.

Triumphant in our three-hour Best Buy adventure, we made a quick Krispy Kreme pit stop and then drove to Circuit City, cocky with victory. We searched for the free-after-mail-in-rebate CD-Rs. The Circuit City worker just chuckled. "Dude, those are loooong gone!"

Never again.

But wait a sec, is that really a 99 cent cordless phone for sale at Good Guys? Gotta run.

Rate-A-Restaurant, #54 in a series

Restaurant: Casa Bianca Pizza Pie

Location: 1650 Colorado Blvd., Eagle Rock

Type of restaurant: Italian

They stipulated: Cash Only

What we ordered: Caprese ($4.50) and a medium pizza, with sausage and mushrooms ($9.85)

High point: I was pleasantly surprised that the Caprese had some salad greens among the mozzarella, tomatoes and basil. It made the salad hearty and a wonderful start for the pizza. The thin pizza crust had a good texture to it with a slightly sweet (was there a hint of maple?) taste. A friend told me he always ordered the Sausage pizza and it was delicious.

Low point: There is always a line outside this restaurant. ALWAYS. We end up going elsewhere because of starvation. But on this umpteenth time, at around 9:45 pm on a Tuesday night, we only had to wait for five minutes.

Overall impression: Excellent neighborhood Italian joint. The table is complete with the usual red & white checkered tablecloth, the walls are laden with Italian kitsch (maps, posters and such) but unlike those made-up theme restaurants, their decor feels like the real thing.

Chance we will go back: We'd love to but maybe on another late weeknight because of the crowd factor.

For a complete archive of our Rate-A-Restaurant reviews, check out our companion ratearestaurant.blogspot.com website.

Car Beats Transit, Again

I'm increasingly amused by the car vs. public transit battles waged every so often by the L.A. Times' "Behind the Wheel" column. Sorry, MTA, but without fail, the auto wins.

I appreciate the Metro system, and enjoy ever so often hopping the train in L.A. -- mostly for the sheer novelty of it all. But let's face it: As maddening as driving in L.A. can be, riding public transporation can cause even larger headaches.

Most recently, LAT reporter Sharon Bernstein decided to compare doing lunch via auto and MTA. She writes:

I decided to put lunchtime travel to the test. I picked Pasadena as my destination. I would go there for lunch four days running — twice by transit and twice in my car. Would either be worth it? Which would be easier?

The results:

Day 1, driving: She left the Times office at 12:30 p.m.; by 12:40 p.m., she entered the Pasadena Freeway from Third Street. Traffic was sluggish, but she exited the Pasadena Freeway at Fair Oaks at 1:01 p.m. -- when she hit roadwork. Bernstein didn't make it to Saladang until 1:20 p.m.

Day 2, train: She left the Times building at 12:30 p.m. and walked west up 1st Street toward the Civic Center Red Line stop ("The sidewalk reeks of urine.") By 12:39 she's standing in front of the ticket machines for the Red Line, but they don't work. The train comes at 12:45, and transfers onto the Gold line at Union Station at 12:59 p.m. ("half an hour after I set out from The Times a few blocks away"). It takes another half an hour before she hits the Del Mar exit in Old Town Pasadena.

Day 3, car: From Studio City, she leaves her home at 12:43 p.m. Bernstein takes the Ventura Freeway south to California 134 heading east and makes the 16 miles to the Fair Oaks exit in 18 minutes. By 1:07, she's at Twin Palms (Green St. and Raymond).

Day 4, train: She leaves her home at 1:30 p.m., arriving at the the North Hollywood Red Line station at 1:45. The train arrives at 1:50; Bernstein doesn't arrive at Union Station until 2:42. The writer -- who brought her family along -- get on the Gold line. But by 3 p.m., the kids are restless and Bernstein decides to get off a couple of stops early, in South Pasadena. They exit the Mission Street station at 3:07.

The lessons, she writes: Even though public transit in Southern California has improved, car still trumps train. The transit lines are slow and poorly connected, and there are too few routes available. And the ticket machines rarely work properly, at least in my experience.

Thankful for Press Releases

Cleaning out the e-mailbox before the holiday... and found a few good things. In today's edition: We locate America's favorite Jackson -- yes, that would be Tito. Also: "America's Most Wanted" goes porn... and Robert Goulet and Shirley Jones, together at last!

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
THE LEGENDARY BLUES CRUISE SETS SAIL JANUARY 22, 2005.
THIS YEAR MARKS ITS FOURTH ANNUAL TRIP!
TITO JACKSON, OF THE JACKSON 5, ON BOARD AS A VERY SPECIAL GUEST.

The Legendary Rhythm and Blues Cruise is recognized as one of the top blues festivals on the planet. It is also the world's only chartered blues cruise.

In its fourth year, this year's cruise hits the high seas on January 22, 2005 from Fort Lauderdale, Florida destined for the Eastern Caribbean. The five star Holland America Zuiderdam boat will sail for seven days all the while hosting intimate and electrifying performances by the world's best rhythm and blues talent: over 60 live performances by sixteen acts! Cruisers have the option to temporarily get their feet back on the ground by indulging in the attractions and beaches in Grand Turk, Tortola and St. Maarten.

Cruisers will bask to the perpetual rhythms of Taj Mahal, Dr. John, Susan Tedeschi, Shemekia Copeland, Phantom Blues Band, The Derek Trucks Band, Anson Funderburgh with Sam Myers, Tommy Castro, Bernard Allison, Little Charlie & The Nightcats, Lil' Ed & The Blues Imperials, Kenny Neal Band, Chubby Carrier, Rev. Billy C. Wirtz, Corey Harris and Zac Harmon.

Plus, nine special guests are confirmed to be on board, including Tito Jackson, guitarist of the Jackson 5. Tito, who learned blues guitar from his father and uncle in Gary, Indiana before the J-5 pop explosion, has returned to his blues roots and will celebrate the release of a blues-inspired album in February 2005. Tito Jackson will sit in on a Blues Guitar Hero workshop and sit in with other musicians who have similar influences.

For more information visit www.BluesCruise.com or call 1-888-BLUESIN (258-3746).

(Thanks to Joe)
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"AMERICA'S MOST WANTED: AMERICA FIGHTS BACK" CAPTURES FUGITIVE PORN STAR AND SISTER

Two Children Also Safely Recovered

AMERICA'S MOST WANTED: AMERICA FIGHTS BACK has led to the capture of two fugitives and the recovery of two children - all within 24 hours of a broadcast. The arrest of porn star Marissa Pomarico (capture #815) and her sister, Kimberly Alvarado (capture #816), as well as the recovery of Alvarado's children, Justin Scaglione (recovery #40) and Lexie Fennell (recovery #41), were a direct result of AMW viewer tips.

When AMW aired the kidnapping case of Alvarado and Pomarico Saturday, Nov. 20, the hotline lit up with calls from dozens of tipsters, many of whom work in the porn industry. A quick search of the Internet proved the tips were on target. Meanwhile, another tipster called the FBI in Las Vegas and informed agents where Pomarico, Alvarado and the two children could be found. However, when they arrived at the residence, the two fugitives and two children were already gone.

Once Pomarico learned she had been profiled on AMW, she surrendered to police in Los Angeles at 2:00 AM PT on Sunday, Nov. 21. She had been in California for a week shooting another movie and was encouraged to turn herself in by coworkers and friends.

Yet authorities were still concerned about the whereabouts of Alvarado and her two children. They learned that Alvarado had fled Las Vegas with the children shortly after her profile aired on AMW. Certain she was heading toward California, agents put out a BOLO (Be On the Look Out) for Alvarado, her children and the Dodge Durango she was driving. By 11:30 AM PT on Sunday, Nov. 21, police in San Bernardino, CA, spotted the vehicle and were able to arrest Alvarado without incident. The children were quickly placed in the care of Child Protective Services.

Alvarado and Pomarico were wanted by the NYPD for interference with child custody. Alvarado lost custody of Justin and Lexie after Child Welfare Services charged her with neglect when a burn on her infant's arm went untreated. They placed the children in a foster home. However, on May 16, Alvarado and Pomarico allegedly kidnapped the two children and fled.

AMERICA'S MOST WANTED: AMERICA FIGHTS BACK, now in its 18th season, airs Saturdays (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. AMERICA'S MOST WANTED is produced by STF Productions, Inc. Lance Heflin is executive producer.

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GOULET AND JONES ON NATIONAL HOLIDAY TOUR

First Time Pairing of Musical Stars In " Home For The Holidays" Road Concert

Los Angeles - (LMS Newswire)- Robert Goulet and Shirley Jones will be sharing their Christmas this year with their fans along the Eastern Seaboard when they take their new concert show " Home For the Holidays" on tour. Show will run from Nov. 24th to Dec. 24th and will play multiple venues from Baltimore to Sarasota, Naples, and Palm Beach, Florida.

In addition to the music of Goulet and Jones, the holiday fest will feature the 55-piece Baltimore Symphony Orchestra, the 40 member Richfield Chorus, and a show-stopping troupe of Ukrainian dancers recently imported from Russia.

Holy Pumpkin Bread, Batman

A few years ago, a friend confided that she was addicted to the pumpkin bread produced and sold by cloistered Dominican Nuns at a Monastery situated at the foot of the Hollywood Hills.

"A Monastery in Hollywood?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"Yes."

"... here in California?"

Sure enough, the Monastery of the Angels can be found in the middle of Hollywood, just down the street from the Cafe 101. Their specialty is pumpkin bread, but the nuns also make homemade candy (their peanut butter truffle was featured recently on L.A. Weekly's Best Of issue). Also sold are gift items such as knitted caps and booties for kids.

The Monastery's gift shop is open from 8 am to 5 pm. The door may be closed sometimes; if that's the case, you need to ring the bell and wait for someone to let you in.

They may first open the little keyhole and ask what you need. Tell them you're there to buy the bread and they'll let you in. This process just adds to the whole experience. Once inside, the nuns are sweet and helpful and you may even get a nice blessing from them.

If you're on a pumpkin fix and pumpkin pie just won't do it for you, try the Monastery's Pumpkin Bread ($7 -- sounds like a lot, but trust me. It's good). Guaranteed to go well with a good cup or coffee, tea or warm milk.

We included the Monastery of the Angels on this year's Mike & Maria's Halloween Housewarming Race. Here, a gratuitous nun shot from Team Doo's album.

Bad Sweater Guy

The Kevin F. Sherry Sweater Project phenomenon continues.

I know, I'm late to the party by just posting it now... but for those of you not hip to the bad sweater vibe, the back story: Kevin -- who many of us know from our Northwestern days -- finally decided to get rid of the 25 or so tremendously awful sweaters he had collected (and wore) during the 1980s and early 90s while living in the cold weather climes of Ohio and Chicago.

Before trashing them, though, Kevin modeled each specimen -- most of which would have even given Bill Cosby a headache -- one last time, taking photos for posterity.

Fellow "Daily Northwestern" alum Steve Lynch collected the shots and posted them on his website, where they've become a true global phenom.

Most recently, Chicago Tribune columnist Eric Zorn wrote about the collection (which just got its own web domain, badsweaterguy.com):

The Kevin F. Sherry Sweater Project couldn't have come along at a better time.

We've just entered that most perilous season of the year in men's fashion--the months in late fall when the outdoor chill inspires us to go to our closet shelves and bring down our collection of boldly patterned wool, cotton and acrylic sweaters.

The dazzling geometry! The arresting combinations of colors!

They display the same whims of our inner peacock seen on our loudest neckties, but on the dangerously larger canvas of our torsos.

We wear them to social events, ballgames and even the office, thinking we're quite snappy even as our friends whisper behind our backs, "Hey, I thought `The Cosby Show' went off the air in 1992."

As Zorn reports, Kevin has decided not to throw the sweaters out after all (at least, for now) as he contemplates creating a Bad Sweater coffeetable book.

Where It's Atwater

No, we didn't hit Club Tee Gee (yes, "Tee Gee"), but Maria and I had a very Atwater Village weekend.

We pass through the sleepy neighborhood -- which serves as a bridge between our old Los Feliz digs and our new Glendale 'hood -- all the time on the way home.

But we so rarely stop (save for my recent stop at India Sweets and Spices). The heart of Atwater exists on Glendale Blvd. between the river and San Fernando Rd. There, restaurants, bars (like the previously mentioned Tee Gee) and coffee shops co-exist next to pet stores, pharmacies, an accordion studio (!) and, yes, a casket shop.

The casket shop cheerfully offers "sales direct to the public," but still kinda freaks us out.

On the other hand, we became instant fans of Jill's Paint, a independently-owned store off Glendale Blvd. (3534 Larga Ave.). The guys who are painting the baby's room (thanks, Pang-ni) sent us there -- and we're glad they did. First off, Jill's uncorks wine for its customers every afternoon -- and throughout the day offers shoppers a choice of water, beer or Coke (bottled!).

Clearly the gimmick works. The store was bustling with people when we arrived Saturday afternoon. Downing our free bottles of Coke, we spent time with a Jill's employee as he helped us pick the correct Benjamin Moore paint color. After months of shopping in big box behemoths like Home Depot and Lowe's, Jill's was a nice change of pace.

Sunday, we were once again passing through Atwater when we decided to finally do something we'd been meaning to do for months... nay, even years: Stop by the Danish-American Bakery (3156 Glendale Blvd.) I tried the pumpkin empanada, because, hell, it was a pumpkin empanada! Maria tried a chocolate roll.

Gotta say, was a tad disappointed with the empanada. But still appreciated the Danish-American Bakery experience: It's a small, old-fashioned neighborhood bakery. The coffee's cheap, the pastries smell wonderful and there's a wide, diverse mix of patrons.

One last Atwater note: I've been watching every day as a new strip mall has slowly gone up close to the 5 freeway onramp. Not too impressed with the first tenant: A T-Mobile wireless franchisee. Zzzz.

Press Release of the Day

This one speaks for itself.

VIVID ENTERTAINMENT SIGNS LEXIE MARIE AS NEWEST VIVID GIRL

Bubbly Ex-Cheerleader and Gymnast Will Work with Men for the First Time

LOS ANGELES - (November 18, 2004) - Vivid Entertainment Group has signed 18-year-old blonde Lexie Marie, a former high school gymnast who enjoys walking around her house on her hands, as its newest Vivid Girl.

The Sacramento native -- who has been told by many that she looks a bit like Mariah Carey -- joins the world's most elite corps of adult actresses.

Lexie Marie was a mostly A-student in high school who admits to being the "bad cheerleader" who liked to party on weekends before buckling down to study for favorite courses like science.

She embarked on an adult career within weeks of her 18th birthday after traveling to Phoenix with her boyfriend to try her luck dancing at clubs. Shortly after she started dancing she was invited to pose for a pictorial in Playtime magazine. This led to signing with L.A. Direct Models, some girl-girl work in films, and ultimately an introduction to Vivid.

"I'm looking forward to my first feature with Vivid," said Lexie Marie. "I love being with really hot girls, but this will be the first time for me with men in a film. The Vivid Girls have been my role models, and now I know why - there is an air of excitement and yet lots of professionalism on the set and you don't ever feel you are just sitting around looking pretty. My boyfriend and I have watched Vivid films for some time and I love them, plus both of us really like the mandatory condom policy at Vivid."

Lexie Marie is 5'6" and weighs 115 pounds, with measurements of 34D bust/24 waist/33 hips. She enjoys water skiing and wakeboarding, loves reggae and hip-hop music, and still keeps up with her high school gymnastic routine. "You'll often see me walking around the house on my hands or doing some sort of tumbling routine," she says. "I like to keep in shape and be flexible." She makes her home in Phoenix.

(Thanks to Lisa H. -- When a fantastic press release comes across your desk, send it to mikemaria@sbcglobal.net!)

Highway Robbery

I dropped Maria's car off at Rusnak Volvo last Friday, after a series of dashboard lights lit up: "Check Engine!" "Emissions Failure!" "Start Panicking!" I also wanted them to check the car's battery, which dies every few weeks (until we recharge it).

A day later, I returned to the Pasadena shop, where they filled me in on the problem: When finished pumping gas, the gas cap needs to be clicked three times. (The gas cap was on, yes, but not tight enough.)

The charge for these pearls of wisdom? $50.

No lie. Why they didn't just tell me to first check the gas cap is beyond me, other than the obvious -- what an easy way to make $50.

The kicker? They didn't even check the battery. Rusnak Volvo, you're on my shit list.

Somewhere, A Jealous Lauren Sanchez is Screaming

Ever wonder what happened to KTLA entertainment "reporter" Mindy Burbano, who left the 10 p.m. newscast earlier this year?

Now known as Mindy Stearns, she apparently married well -- and is about to star, along with her millionaire husband, in TBS' upcoming "Real-Life Gilligan's Island."

From their bio: Glenn and Mindy Stearns are 40 and 35 years old, respectively, and live in the Los Angeles area. Glenn owns twenty-six companies and is resourceful in spending and making money. Mindy is a television personality who has reported entertainment news for KTLA in Los Angeles for the past five years and was a former correspondent for Entertainment Tonight. Their net worth is over $500 million.

$500 million? No wonder she left her cush job, recounting with Hal Fishman tales of the latest movie premieres. ("The Real Gilligan's Island" premieres Nov. 30 at 8 p.m. on TBS.)

Holiday Flavah

As regular readers of this blog know, I'm obsessed with special, holiday-centric flavors -- mint, pumpkin, etc. With Thanksgiving fast approaching, they're back! A roundup of some of the choice, limited-time-only fare out there (Granted, most are coffee-related. But read on):

:: Coffeemate has introduced several new holiday-themed creamers: Gingerbread, Peppermint Mocha and Eggnog. Tried the Gingerbread over the weekend -- so far, so good. A nice spice flavor. Available in grocery stores.

:: New at the Coffee Bean: Peppermint Ice Blended; White Chocolate Raspberry Latte; White Chocolate Raspberry Ice Blended; Raspberry Vanilla Tea Latte; and Winter Dream Tea Latte. The Peppermint Ice Blended and Winter Dream Latte return from last year, while the Raspberry drinks make their first appearance. I tried a White Chocolate Raspberry Latte over the weekend; good, but a little too sweet. Ultimately, the coffee flavor is completely masked -- which is not necessarily a good thing.

:: Joe first turned me on to Starbucks' Pumpkin Spice Latte: "A delicious blend of pumpkin and traditional holiday spice flavors, combined with our signature espresso and freshly steamed milk, and topped with whipped cream and pumpkin pie spices." Pretty good. I've also come to rely on Starbucks' Gingerbread, Peppermint Mocha and Eggnog (a Tiffany Stone favorite) during the holidays.

:: And yes... my favorite M&Ms flavor is back. This year, they've renamed it "Mint Chocolate," but the taste is still the same. Of course, Maria and I bought enough Mint M&Ms during last year's post-holiday sales at Target that we still have some stored in the freezer. But I do highly recommend them -- and stashing a few for the rest of the year.

:: Almost forgot: Pepsi has come out with a limited-time Holiday concoction, Pepsi Holiday Spice. It's Pepsi, "with a hint of cinnamon and ginger." Haven't tried it yet; any guinea pigs out there?

The Race is Back

Set your TiVos... Franklin Avenue's Patron Reality Show, The Amazing Race, is back tonight with its sixth edition.

Originally scheduled for a September launch -- on Saturday nights -- the show was pushed back once CBS realized what an asset it had become. The two-time Emmy winner returns with a two-hour premiere at 9 p.m.

To whet your appetite, here are a few tidbits we got out of "The Amazing Race 5" winners Chip and Kim, from their appearance at our Mike & Maria's Halloween Housewarming Race:

:: So why, ultimately, did Chip and Kim decide to use the "Yield" on rivals Colin and Christie, rather than let another team incur the wrath of Colin? According to Chip, as much as they believed Brandon and Nicole wanted to "yield" Colin and Christie, in this game you can never be too sure. Rather than risk a surprise yield by Brandon and Nicole, Chip and Kim decided they better do it themselves.

:: The winners haven't spent much of their $1 million winnings (well, $600,000 after taxes) yet: Chip bought a decked-out Apple G5 Mac, while Kim likes to point out she has spent just $12 on candy.

:: So how did they keep their victory a secret? Chip and Kim didn't even tell their kids. They didn't outright lie and say they lost; they just told family and friends that they did their best -- but ultimately didn't do as well as they'd hoped. Chip kids, "We weren't lying -- we could have won more trips along the way!" (First teams to arrive at the show's pit stops frequently win a vacation or cruise to enjoy after the race.) It wasn't until Chip and Kim's kids were watching the show at CBS' "Amazing Race" party in New York that they discovered the truth.

:: Chip and Kim's win helped turn around what had been one of the worst years of their lives. The couple had lost a huge chunk of their savings at the hands of their business partner, and their house had gone into foreclosure when they managed to get cast on the "Race." (See their story at chipandkim.tv).

:: As you might expect, winning the "Race" has suddenly opened new doors for the couple. The duo have booked speaking engagements around the country, focusing on the topic of marriage.

Now, go watch tonight's "Race" premiere! (Production on season 7 starts shortly, by the way.)

Rate-A-Restaurant, #53 in a series

Restaurant:India Sweets and Spices

Location: 3126 Los Feliz Blvd (just east of Griffith Park)

Type of restaurant: Fast-food Indian

They stipulated: Like your veggies. India Sweets and Spices sticks to a non-meat menu.

What we ordered: Bengan bartha (eggplant); chickpeas; vegetables and mushrooms

High point: Food is served cafeteria style -- you can grab and run. Plus, the adjacent Indian grocery is huge -- and carries a wide variety of product, including imported British candy bars (Nestle Aero bars!)

Low point: The menu says a medium serving of rice costs $2. The woman behind the counter insisted that it cost $2.50. I challenged her, but she wouldn't budge. I finally gave up.

Overall impression: Cheap, good Indian food in a pinch -- perfect when you're just not in the mood to cook. But this is by no means a replacement for tastier spots like Electric Lotus. In particular, the Bartha was kinda disappointing (we're big eggplant fans) -- way too salty.

Chance we will go back: Definitely-- when we're looking for a quick dinner option.

For a complete archive of our Rate-A-Restaurant reviews, check out our companion ratearestaurant.blogspot.com website.

Who Wants to Name Our Baby? Episode Eight

And we're baaaack! The baby name game took a couple of weeks off, as we spent time recapping the big Halloween Housewarming Race.

But for those of you wondering, no, we haven't picked a name. And we're not really closer to one -- even though we're now heading into the homestretch. Baby X will be here in less than 50 days... and no, we're not nearly ready (although we finally managed to register at Babies R Us. And yes, that's a shameless hint.)

As a result, the "Name Our Baby" mailbox has been dry lately... except for this short, simple message we received the other day:

Please get rid of Evan. PLEASE.

Alas, Evan stays. Gone this week? Alexander.

But the "Who Wants to Name our Baby" taketh... and giveth this week. New to the list, thanks to several suggestions? Nathan.

That leaves us with...

Evan Michael Schneider
Matthew Michael Schneider
Nathan Michael Schneider
Ryan Michael Schneider

By now you know the drill. Vote off a name... and suggest a new one. We're getting close, so use your vote wisely! And join us on the next edition of Who Wants to Name Our Baby?, the Blogality show.

PLACE YOUR VOTES ON WHICH NAME TO ELIMINATE NEXT: nameourbaby@hotmail.com.

The Media Whore Is Back!

Seems like all of my TV interviews have ended up on the cutting room floor recently. I was supposed to be seen on a recent edition of CBS' "The Early Show," as well as a Hollywood-themed show on Court TV. Nothing.

But I'm back, baby! I've been told that my talking head makes a couple of appearances on the "E! True Hollywood Story" about NBC's "The Apprentice."

"The Apprentice: The E! True Hollywood Story" premieres Sun., Nov. 14, at 8 p.m. on E!

Just Doo It

Team Doo's Cha Cha strikes a pose after jumping into the downtown Standard's swimming pool -- clothes fully intact.


In case you're just joining us, we're still shocked (shocked!) here at Franklin Avenue after discovering that there's a copycat race in our midst.

Some poseurs threw a wannabe race around Los Angeles last weekend. (Read here for the ugly detail.) Sound familiar? "Race/LA," which the LA Times wrote about Wednesday, looks and smells like our own "Mike's Birthday Race 2003" and "Mike & Maria's Halloween Housewarming Race 2004" -- straight down to the clue locations.

I've heard from many of you today, downright flabbergasted at our wannabe rivals. "You should sue 'em!" several exclaimed. (Actually, I think our pals at "The Amazing Race" oughtta consider that tact, considering these fakers charge an entrance fee for their little race!)

But hey, we're the original... and the ones with the blessing and support of "The Amazing Race" producers and stars. So booyah. I say.

And as Team Doo member Lisa writes in the comments below, "Just by judging them by their looks from their photos, (and what else would you judge someone by?) the Amazing Housewarming Racers were way more fun. And fun-ny, I might add."

Speaking of Team Doo, the group -- who nearly were eliminated from the race when a suicide jumper held up traffic on the 710 -- have just posted their pics here. Here's another sample:

Team Doo races toward Felix Chevrolet to find a clue.

That's A Start, Arnold, But Read the Rest of My Column

Back in January I wrote a Variety column offering up a modest proposal on how the Governator might solve Cahleeeforneeea's budget crisis: Whore himself out. An excerpt:

The real solution is so obvious, I can't believe cameras aren't already rolling: It's time for Gov. Schwarzenegger to sell himself.

I'm not talking special interests (although he seems to have already caught on in that regard) -- I'm referring to Hollywood.

If Schwarzenegger were to work non-stop in the coming year, pulling down hefty paychecks for movie roles, TV appearances, product endorsements and perhaps a line of "Girls Gone Wild: California" videos - and then deposit it straight to the state treasury -- he'd go along way toward getting this debt paid down.

Later in the column, I add:

Schwarzenegger has already pulled down some cash by hawking product in Japan. Now, how about pushing product worldwide? Cell phones in the UK, cars in Southeast Asia, Vegemite in Australia, and McDonald's in the US of A (I'm lovin' it!).

Fast forward to today's LA Times, which reports:

With the state nearly broke, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger is touting a money-making idea to help California reopen its Tokyo trade office: starring in a Japanese commercial.

While leading a four-day trade mission here, Schwarzenegger said Wednesday that he may accept one of the many multimillion-dollar offers he receives to make commercials for Japanese television.

But instead of pocketing the money, he would plow it into an office that would push California's business interests.

C'mon, Arnold, why stop there? A few more product endorsements here, and some Guv Ahnuld (trademark pending) merchandise there, and we're on the road to fiscal health!

BOO! Lock Your Doors! It's Sweeps!

Gotta love the tell-tale signs of November: It's suddenly chilly. Some of the leaves are turning color. Christmas decorations are making their way into the stores. And Fox 11 is airing a scary sweeps series on internet sexual predators.

God bless the station, which never seems to tire of anything having to do with sex, internet, porn and teenagers during sweeps! (I'm waiting for the hat trick: A sweeps series on internet predators preying on teenagers with porn shots of high school spring breakers shooting up Crystal Meth.)

Breakfast Gone Good?

Follow-up to our Oct. 22 post lamenting Ikea Burbank's decision to ruin what had been the best breakfast deal around (Fluffy eggs, homestyle potatoes, bacon, a Swedish crepe with lingonberry jam and a refillable mug of coffee for $1.99).

Ikea cheaped out the last time we were there, replacing the crepe with cold, McDonald's style frozen pancakes and thawed-out tater tots in place of the potatoes.

But reader and Team Doo member Lisa reports that the Swedish crepe with lingonberry jam is back! Or, at least it was when she hit the Ikea last week. The tatertots remain. But it's a start.

Wrap It Up

Although Los Angeles is a taco town, we also hold our own in the world of burritos. The L.A. Times' food section lists the city's best burrito bets after searching high and low. ("They were so deliciously satisfying that we still could eat 40 more," the paper says.)

The paper's favorites, as categorized by them:

THE CLASSIC -- Antojitos Denise's burrito al pastor ("Modest, slender, filled with spicy spit-roasted pork and the right amount of pinto beans and Mexican rice")

THE BULLFIGHTER -- Barragan's chile verde burrito ("Tender chunks of pork long-stewed in green chile sauce, wrapped in a huge tortilla, are smothered with the same savory, spicy sauce and drizzled with melted Jack cheese.")

THE UNDERCOVER -- Benito's Taco Shop's carnitas burrito ("It's not on the menu, but ask nicely")

EL REY -- Burrito King's machaca burrito ("The house specialty is filled with juicy, flavorful stewed shredded beef")

CRAZY WRAP -- Casa Diaz's chicken mole loco burrito ("Chock-full of flavorful shredded chicken and topped with mole poblano, sliced avocado, sour cream and cheese")

BATHING BEAUTY -- La Cita's burrito bañado ("Like a cross between chili, a burrito and an enchilada — and it works")

LA BOMBA -- El Diablo's carnitas burrito ($4). "It's gigantic, positively stuffed with rice, beans and pork")

THE TEXAN -- Gallegos Mexican Deli's house burrito ("It's sort of a fajita burrito")

THE BIG WINNER -- ¡Loteria! Grill's albóndigas en chipotle burrito ("Tender little meatballs are generously sauced with super-smoky, earthy chipotle sauce")

THE MAMACITA -- El Nopal's "pregnant burrito" ("A pound of shredded chicken, sliced avocado and onion, then doused with enchilada sauce and topped with cheese")

THE PURIST -- El Parian's carne asada burrito ("The hand roll is sauced with vibrant pico de gallo and just enough rice and beans")

SPICE BOY -- Taquería La Estrella's carne asada burrito ("It's a classic, the real barrio deal")

THE LEGEND -- El Tepeyac Cafe's Hollenbeck burrito ("Large enough for a family of four.")

THE TRENDSETTER -- Tere's Mexican Grill's chile relleno burrito ("Offers evidence of the burrito's continuing evolution")

THE RED MUSTANG -- Tito's Tacos' chile con carne burrito ("The vintage car of burritos")
.
THE PEARL -- Yuca's cochinita pibil burrito ("In a tortilla as tender and velvety as any you'll find").

Sounds Eclectic Again

KCRW's fourth annual "Sounds Eclectic Evening," originally scheduled for Nov. 20, has found a new home.

According to the station's website, the show has now been bumped to Saturday, March 12, 2005.

Tweaks to the lineup include a full band performance from Coldplay (only some of the band, including Chris Martin, had been scheduled for November), the addition of Aqualung and subtraction of Rilo Kiley. Also on the bill: Café Tacuba, Paul Buchanan of The Blue Nile, Van Hunt, Nellie McKay and The Like. Mark Farina will deejay the after party.

This year's (or should I say, next year's) lineup still seems a bit anemic compared to the past two years. The 2003 show included Beck, Liz Phair, Jurassic 5, Jem and Damien Rice, while the 2002 show included Norah Jones, Zero 7, Beth Orton and Aimee Mann.

The Amazing Swipe

Dude! They stole our idea!

OK, so we were inspired ourselves by the cheesy early 80s movie "Midnight Madness," as well as Franklin Avenue's Patron Reality Show, CBS' "The Amazing Race."

But methinks the folks behind something held last weekend called "Race/LA" may have gotten a few ideas from Mike's Birthday Race 2003 and Mike & Maria's Halloween Housewarming Race 2004.

The L.A. Times' Calendar section has a rather lengthy write up about the rival Los Angeles-centric race, which was held last weekend.

Dreamed up by "42-year-old graphic designer John Hennessy," the race hit several spots we covered last year in Mike's Birthday Race: The La Brea Tar Pits. Hollywood Forever Cemetery.

And holy crap. This race sent their teams to ride the Travel Town train in Griffith Park.

Not only did we kick off our 2003 competition there, but it was highlighted -- complete with photos -- in the November 2003 Los Angeles magazine article about Mike's Birthday Race!

In other words, mealsothinks the Race/LA peeps stumbled upon that story last year.

Meanwhile, the similarities continued this year. We forced teams to down an entire Spam Musubi at the Grand Central Market. They had teams pick up chilies at the market.

Their race hit 17 stops -- just like our two races. But theirs only took teams 35 miles around L.A. Our race, in comparison, this year spanned all the way out to San Pedro, with racers clocking at least 77 miles. Oh, it's ON, baby!

Even the prizes were similar: Last time out we gave out Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf gift cards, among other prizes; this year, Borders' gift certificates were included. What did "Race/LA" give out? "Credits at Borders and Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf."

Am I jealous of the LATimes coverage?

OK, you got me. Although, like I mentioned, Los Angeles magazine did a nice profile of last year's race.

If it's any consolation, the Birthday and Halloween/Housewarming Races got the support of "The Amazing Race" itself, and "TAR5" winners Chip and Kim McAllister even made an appearance at our after party. (Host Phil Keoghan made it to our 2003 race.)

Whatchoo got, Race/LA? Hmm? (Although, I gotta give them credit -- they charged their participants. I guess we're either more altruistic, just stupid!)

Check out full coverage of Mike & Maria's Halloween Housewarming Race here, including the latest photos.

And yes, in case you were wondering, the original Mike & Maria race returns for a third edition next year! (Hey, that's what babysitters are for!)

The Pics Keep Coming!

New Mike & Maria's Halloween Housewarming Race pics are just in, from Mike & Maria and clue captains Anthony and Candice!

First up, some shots from our camera can be found online here. A sampling:

Hezekiah Walker and the 111th Street Choir meet 'Amazing Race' winners Chip and Kim

Orange Crush team member Christy shoves a Spam Musubi in her mouth (at downtown's Grand Central Market)


Meanwhile, Anthony and Candice took some great photos while serving as clue captains at two different sites. Their shots can be found here. Here are three:

Teams take off from the starting line, at Mike and Maria's house

Two Team Northwestern members hurry past the Korean Bell in San Pedro

Team Doo races toward Mariachi Plaza in Boyle Heights


Keep sending us your race photos!

Empty Arena

Los Angeles' Coliseum-adjacent Sports Arena was once home to the Lakers, the Kings and the Clippers. These days, it sits mostly empty -- save for an ocassional USC basketball game, or "Disney on Ice." This weekend's Downtown News looks at the arena and what it once was:

With the professional basketball season beginning last week at Staples Center, the Exposition Park arena is once again largely overlooked.

Elvis Presley didn't play there, but Elvis Costello did. The Sports Arena has hosted concerts by rock legends such as The Who, Pink Floyd, U2 and the Rolling Stones, and it even had a peripheral connection with the Beatles.

Today, however, the Sports Arena hosts such artists as Grupo Aventura, Hermanos Flores, Los Cocodrilos and La Maquina. Gospel concerts take place five or six times a year, a show called African Marketplace is held each summer, and Latino groups are booked roughly every two weeks.

Long-forgotten basketball and hockey teams played there. The Dalai Lama and the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. addressed followers there, and the Harlem Globetrotters entertained fans many times.

Now, only USC basketball, the Disney on Ice show in January and the Ringling Bros. & Barnum & Bailey circus in July remain regular tenants. The Trojans will be moving out in 2006, when the Galen Center is completed adjacent to the campus.

JFK officially scored the 1960 Democratic nomination inside the Sports Arena, where he gave his famous "New Frontier" speech.

Swag-O-Rama

A mini version of our usual press release fun... just to get you riled up on a Monday, here's the latest reminder that the richest people get all the free stuff.

Yup, time to snoop through another awards show gift bag. Here's the word on what appears in this year's American Music Awards presenter bag:

Special "American Music Awards" duffel bags will be given to the stars and contain almost 200 items including a share in a race horse, Ice Link diamond watches, a lifetime of Sirius Satellite Radio, Scott Kay platinum jewelry, MP3 players, a year of free massages, Maytag Skybox personalized refrigerators, All Access passes to Golds Gym and Spectrum Sportsclub, portable DVD players, cooking tours of Italy, certificates for lasik eye surgery, limited edition bottles of Marilyn Merlot wine, fog free shower mirrors, assorted jewelry including sterling silver peace sign necklaces, rhinestone tank tops and crystal belt buckles with Swarovski crystals, Omaha steaks, "hands free" electronic trash cans, Krups espresso machines, Vera Wang perfume, assorted women's apparel including personalized crystal sandals and sequined tops, electronic toothbrushes, Godiva and Ghiradelli chocolates, assorted Urban apparel, Cross pens and retro radio phones. The gift packages were assembled by Steve Stein of Hollywood Connection and are each valued at approximately $32,000 in honor of the show's 32nd anniversary.

Personalized refrigerators? For the celebrity who just isn't vain enough?

The "Not Models" Race... and Drink

The "Not Models" race from Mariachi Plaza, where teams were required to find a specific green religious candle before receiving their next clue.


More pictures are in from last Saturday's Mike & Maria's Halloween Housewarming Race!

And the gauntlet has been thrown: Not Models teammate Leslie Ryan believes her group -- who, granted, finished in sixth place -- took the best photos. Go here for the entire stash, and watch as the Not Models stay competitive early in the race... and then start hitting the sauce. Viva Team Not Models!

For the rest of ya, keep sending in photos and/or links! We'll be sharing more race shots in the next few weeks.

A River Runs Through It

Could it be? Is Los Angeles finally ready to beautify the big ditch that is the Los Angeles River?

Don't hold your breath just yet... but the city is spending $3 million to find a consultant who might design a plan for the river.

Writes the L.A. Times: What had been a natural and at times tempestuous stream that caused some catastrophic floods is now a desolate concrete ditch. Instead of sheltering wildlife, it became a location for movie car chases, crime and even a place to dump crime victims.

Its banks sprouted unsightly industrial uses, uncluding factories and miles of railroad tracks. Many locals avoided it, and most visitors were unaware of it.

Now, however, city leaders and river advocates insist they have the will and the community support to do something.

We'll see. As the paper notes, the city has had designs on the river in the past as well. In the 1930s, a plan was drafted that included parks, lakes and other features... but never came to pass. "Instead, the river was paved to control flooding," the LAT notes.

Defamer Defamed

After months of debate over who the Defamer might be, the New York Daily News' Lloyd Grove on Thursday prematurely unmasked the blogger, who will be officially outed in the December issue of Esquire. Without further ado, the Defamer is... Mark Lisanti. Or, as the Defamer/Lisanti writes in his own post: "Surprise! I'm nobody." Actually, that's not quite true. Besides Defamer, Lisanti reveals that he was also behind the website bunsen.tv, which offered up some of the funniest and most clever writing in the blogosphere. Bunsen had virtually disappeared in recent months -- now we know why. My Variety co-worker Nicole LaPorte reports that she actually went to college with Lisanti. I already like the guy: He links to Franklin Avenue, after all. Here's hoping good things for him -- and here's hoping Moonves, Zucker and Emmanuel don't find his address.

A Renewed Focus for La Placita

Nuestra Señora Reina de Los Angeles (Our Lady Queen of the Angels) church -- better known as La Placita, the Catholic church near Olvera Street (the site where Los Angeles was founded) -- has rediscovered activism.

Maria and I got married at La Placita, although most of the church's parish is made up of Mexican and Central American immigrants. We appreciated the church's history (built 1818-1822) and legacy, and wanted to share it with others.

According to the Los Angeles Times, newer priests Steve Niskanen -- who married us in Oct. 2002 -- and Father Arnold N. Abelardo have brought a refocused mission to the church:

"We are trying to transform it into a church that is more prophetic, liberating and attentive to the poorest of the poor, especially immigrants," said Father Roland Lozano, provincial superior of the Claretian Missionaries of the Western United States, which staffs the church.

Every Sunday, the old church, affectionately known as La Placita or Little Plaza, draws 10,000 people from around the region to its 11 Masses. Its icons of Latino popular religiosity include the black Christ of Guatemala, the Christ of Miracles of Peru and the infant Jesus known as Santo Niño de Atocha, whose shrine is festooned with baby pictures, locks of hair and written pleas for miracles.

Other days, busloads of tourists alight in front of the church to view the spot at Main Street and New High Avenue where, by the order of King Carlos III of Spain, the pueblo that eventually became Los Angeles was established in 1781.

On weekends, the area draws large crowds for concerts in the plaza, shopping and dining — or, some merchants say, it used to. Olvera Street shop owners complain that the new activism is drawing hordes of homeless to the area, threatening the tourism they rely on...

With the arrival of Abelardo and Pastor Steve Niskanen in 2002, the Olvera Street parish returned to activism with a roar. The church re-declared itself as a sanctuary and denounced government raids around Southern California to root out undocumented immigrants.

I'm in a Blue State.

Literally. Ahh, the heartbreak, frustration and anger of Election 2004.

But I'm used to it. First election I can recall was 1980, when I was 7 and living in the Philippines. Satellite transmission wasn't yet in regular use, so we had to listen to live returns via Armed Forces Radio. I remember my mom growing disappointed as Carter's loss became apparent.

In 1984, I was the only kid in my Oklahoma sixth grade class to vote Mondale in our mock elections. I wasn't popular. This didn't help.

Fast forward to 1988. Old enough to care, I had my parents drive me down to Hawaii's Democratic headquarters, where I loaded up on Dukakis/Bentsen bumper stickers. I remember being heartbroken that night. But it was a good lesson for a 15-year-old -- and in Hawaii, all politics really are local anyway.

The came 1992. A sophomore at Northwestern, and my first ever vote. I punched for Clinton, and also for Illinois Sen. Carol Moseley Braun (the excitement of helping vote in the first-ever female African-American senator... who yes, later wound up disappointing.) But my candidate for Governor lost --big time.

1994. The Republican Revolution. My roommates and I sat there, dumbfounded. My poli sci professor tried to rationalize it: Americans like mixing things up, keeping the executive one party, and the legislative branch the other. (His theory, however, has been proven wrong for several years now.)

1996. The least heartbreaking election of my life. Just a few months after moving to Los Angeles, my first chance to vote here. The election was decided early. Things seemed much simpler then.

2000. Yeah. You remember this one. But the stakes were different in 2000. And we were all too exhausted to fight. So even this didn't sting as bad as...

2004. Now, the pessimist in me never believed Kerry had a shot. Even in the final days, when just about everyone was predicting a Kerry victory, it still didn't seem possible. And I was right. But the most depressing aspect of all was the culture of fear that sent so many people to the polls Tuesday.

The fact that anti-gay propositions fueled Bush's victory is completely disheartening -- and the reality that moral issues outweighed everything else for a huge chunk of voters is downright shocking. We were fooled into supporting what increasingly looks like an unwinnable war, our deficit has soared to unthinkable levels, the rest of the world hates us... but the electorate is more freaked out by the idea that gays want to be treated as human beings. I just don't know what to say.

Believe it or not, I got much of my frustration out in a dream last night. In the dream, I screamed at the top of my lungs, then took a stick and started bounding on a trash bin. Didn't help. Maybe I'll do it while awake.

And that concludes my partisan rant. I know, we're more fun when we're trying to name our baby or throwing a race around Los Angeles.

Sounds Cancelled

KCRW sent a mysterious email Monday to ticketholders of its upcoming Sounds Electic Evening, scheduled for Nov. 20 at the Universal Ampitheatre:

We are sorry to inform you that due to logistical and scheduling conflicts beyond our control, the November 20th show is in the process of being rescheduled to early 2005.Information on the new date is imminent and we'll tell you the second we know. All tickets and seat assignments will be honored for the rescheduled date.

KCRW still hasn't explained who or what was forcing the "scheduling conflicts." And unfortunately, a reschedule doesn't help us out. The rub: Nov. 20, No baby. Early 2005: Baby. Guess we'll have to do without catching Coldplay's Chris Martin or Rilo Kiley.

Vote or Die!

Actually, I still don't know what that means. Anyone?

Tonight's gonna be nervewracking. I may stick with Comedy Central's "Indecision 2004: Prelude to the Recount" coverage. Check the Daily Show's election webpage, where they promise to update their election blog throughout the day.

Meanwhile, here's The Onion's Election Guide.

Now, go out there and act like your vote's gonna make a difference!

UPDATE: Maria and I hit the neighborhood polls at around 8:30 this morning, and the mood was calm. It was our first time voting in our new Glendale neighborhood, where our polling station is located inside the garage of a nearby neighbor, of all places. We were greeted by an excited volunteer, who explained the new ink push-button voting system... and we stood patiently and listened, even though we had actually already used the system during last year's California governor recall election.

Clutching our voter's guides (yes, we did our homework), a few ink punches here, a few there, and we were done. Ahh, the crowning moment: Receiving the "I Voted" sticker! (Which I promptly lost.) Maria somehow also snagged an "I Voted" Twix bar from the volunteers. Now, we wait.

Meanwhile, here's Matt Welch's quick top ten foreign policy reasons to vote against Bush. (Met Matt and his wife Emmanuelle at the L.A. Press Club party for Ben Fritz and the Spinsanity folks last night -- they're good folk.)