Movin' On Up... to the East Side

Yup, Maria and I are packing our stuff and heading to Glendale this weekend. (And no, we're not changing the name of this here blog.)

This escrow was more painful than most -- there were even a few days where the owner tried to stop the sale but pocket our downpayment. Nice guy. I'll give you the full story sometime in the next few weeks -- it's a doozy.

Now, to get into this insane market and pay an absurdly high price for a small house, we had to overlook some problems, as you might have guessed.

And well, we now need your advice.

1. We need a fence. Who have you worked with to erect a fence? And how much would you pay?

1b. Same with a driveway gate. Any recommendations?

2. Security system. Who do you call? What's the price?

3. Gardener. What do you pay? How often do they come?

more questions to come...

Not-So-Good Day, Los Angeles?

Los Angeles viewers continue to flee the locally produced morning shows, Fox 11's "Good Day L.A." and KTLA's "Morning News," in favor of "Today" and "Good Morning America."

What happened? Are viewers tired of Jillian Barberie and Sam Rubin? Are people more tuned into what's going on in the world and nation (Iraq, presidential politics, etc.) and less on what's happening here in L.A.? Perhaps...

Whatever the reason, both "Good Day L.A." and "KTLA Morning News" were both down double digits this May sweeps, vs. a year ago.

Elsewhere, KNBC had a strong morning and late news performance; KABC is still No. 1 in the market, even with a low-rated ABC primetime; and KCBS shows a little bit of growth -- thanks in large part to a hefty primetime lead-in.

More info on the local sweeps in today's Variety.

Cola Wars Go Low-Carb

I'm a sucker, apparently, for marketing, because I'm psyched for the arrival of the lower calorie Coca-Cola C2.

Horrible name, but brilliant idea: Replace half of the high fructose corn syrup (sorry, kids, it ain't sugar) content in Coke and replace it with Aspartame. (OK, so it's not a perfect idea. I'm still convinced we're all going to wake up 40 years from now with some bizarre ailment thanks to our diet soda intake.) The regular Coke taste is still there, but your 12 oz. can now boasts 70 calories, rather than 140.

It's pretty much a variant on what we've been doing at soda machines for years: Half and half. Half regular Coke, half Diet Coke. I tried it Wednesday night at the "American Idol" party (Coke launched its C2 ad campaign during the finale) and I must attest, it still does taste like regular Coke. Including the sugary, lingering sweet aftertaste -- you know, the one you really notice when picking up a regular, full-sugared soda after drinking the bland and slightly disgusting diet version for too long.

Pepsi also plans to introduce its own mid-calorie version, Pepsi Edge, this summer. Ahh, trends. (Although, this cola war makes more sense to me than the race to compete with... Vanilla flavored cola.)

A Hollywood Tale, #468

For a boy from Hawaii, it was a treat meeting former Miss USA/Miss Universe Brook Lee at Wednesday's "American Idol" party. Brook was the guest of Quan Phung, one of Fox's top programming execs.

After sharing the usual "you're-from-Hawaii-I'm-from-Hawaii" pleasantries (including my standard, "Yes, I'm ultra-haole, but I just can't tan" line), we talked about what she's up to these days (she was crowned in 1997) and why she's not on one of the new island-themed dramas coming to primetime.

Strangely enough, Brook says casting agents consider her more for Latina roles than Asian/Pacific Islander ones. She then told me about the time she tried out for "Miss Congeniality," that Sandra Bullock pageant-themed movie, as Miss Hawaii.

In the bag, right? Brook was a Miss Hawaii. How much more real can you get? According to Brook, the casting agent turned her down. Didn't look like a Miss Hawaii. Huh? Brook even brought along her crown -- yup, they get to keep them -- to prove that, hello, former Miss Universe over here! But no dice.

Brook is awesome, by the way. One of the nicest people I've met in a while. I told her about my "Hawaiian Eye" radio show, and she happens to be working with some slack key guitar artists -- ones I've even played on the show --- so perhaps we'll get them on the air too.

Cantaloop (Flip Fantasia)

Crisis averted. Fantasia Barrino crowned "American Idol."

Raced through rush hour traffic to get to the Kodak Theater on Thursday night, in time to see Miss Barrino save "American Idol," and more importantly, save Fox. (A Diana DeGarmo win would have officially been the show's jump the shark moment. Although, I know, some of you think the shark was jumped when LaToya London was voted out, or even last season, when Josh Gracin made it so far in the competish. It would have also led to more hand wringing over the show's voting process.)

Maria was off meeting up with some old high school friends, so I grabbed Pang-ni and sat with Joe and Kathy L, all of whom sighed their relief when Barrino won the contest. (Co-worker Mike, while a fan of F-B, thinks she dances like she's sitting on the toilet. But that's another story).

We sat between true fans of the show, who screamed when Fantasia took the stage. Screamed when Diana sang. Screamed when Simon glanced their way. Screamed for Paula. And screamed when they had nothing to scream about. Ahh, youth.

Of course, I guess I screamed too. When Seacrest hit the stage. Epithets. Damn you, Seacrest.

Tension took over the Kodak at 6:50, as Seacrest prepared to name the winner. Would there be outrage in the streets? Letters to the FCC? Riots outside Fox's Century City headquarters? Nope. As pyrotechnics threatened to burn down the stage (anyone learn anything from Great White's Not-So-Great Rhode Island Adventure?) and confetti filled the air, Fantasia took the crown and sang what will likely be her first single.

After, we headed to the Kodak ballroom, where Andy Richter, Fox execs, Bobby Trendy (huh?) and others took in Southern fare (chili, chicken, Mac n Cheese, etc). But the real action was at the after after party at Sky Bar.

Pang-ni, Joe, Kathy and I managed to grab a table ("Reserved" sign be damned) next to "The Simple Life 2" star Nicole Richie and her posse.

I'm still kicking myself for not having a camera. Imagine teenybopper "Idol" contestants John Stevens and Jasmine Trias hugging and chatting with partygirl Richie, who I assume was giving them a crash course on the Hollywood scene. Nicole would alternate between dancing, checking her cell phone, taking digital photos and inviting over "Idol"s.

When we weren't talking to "Idol" contestant Jennifer Hudson -- by far the coolest of the bunch (we now agree: She wuz robbed!) -- we took turns trying to make eye contact with Nicole. I believe Pang-ni won.

Then, in walked "OC" star Mischa Barton, who has gone from partygirl-in-training to full-fledge scenestress in no time. Boyfriend Brandon Davis jumped up on Nicole's table and started dancing. Mischa... holy crap, she's thin! You have no idea.

In walks last year's winner, Ruben Studdard. With a bodyguard. Now, in case you don't know the show, Ruben's a big guy. You don't wanna mess with Ruben. But I suppose having a bodyguard is de rigueur, so Ruben was followed everywhere by a man about half his size.

No, you really have no idea. Mischa Barton. Thin. Truly thin.

Nicole was accompanied by her mom, Brenda Richie, and indeed she appeared to be on her best behavior. She even matched Brenda up with Fantasia's mother. ("Mom, this is Fantasia's mom.")

No Fantasia, though, at the afterparty -- at least that we saw. Sure she was busy starting the mountain of press that will consume her life over the next week.

And that closes the "Idol" book until January. What will we watch now? (Here's your answer: "The Amazing Race." Returning July 6.)

Not Such A Gas

Time again to check out the insane local gas prices, courtesy LosAngelesGas Prices.com. San Diego may lead the nation in how much it costs per gallon, but -- whoo-hoo! -- we're right behind.

Here are the latest highs and lows, according to the site:



As of today, $2.25 seems to be the norm in the 'burbs, via several Mobil/Arco/Chevron stations in Van Nuys, Inglewood and Torrance. Things are a little uglier in town, where it's closer to $2.35-$2.40 a gallon. The infamous 76 station in Beverly Hills, at Santa Monica Blvd. and Crescent, is clocking in at $2.48/gallon for regular unleaded.

Stop Me If You Think That You've Heard This One Before

NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue says the league hopes to have a Los Angeles team in place by 2008.

The AP reports:
The league, which has not had a team in the Los Angeles area since the Rams departed for St. Louis 10 years ago, has been working with groups representing sites at Carson, the Coliseum and the Rose Bowl in Pasadena.

"Everyone has been working at this," Tagliabue said. "At some point decisions need to be made."

League owners have made no decision about expanding to a 33rd team or moving a troubled franchise to Los Angeles when and if they come to an agreement on a stadium there.

Wake me when it actually happens. Doesn't it seem like L.A. has already made peace with the fact that it doesn't have an NFL team?

Power's Got The Power; El Cucuy is Muy Caliente

The first dose of spring 2004 Arbitron trends are out, and once again KPWR (Power 106) is on top, posting a strong 5.1 share among listeners 12+. Alt rocker KROQ is over half a share point behind, at a 4.4. That's followed by talker KFI (4.0), Spanish leader KLAX (3.9) and Spanish adult contemporary KLVE (3.7).

KLAX had a great month thanks to Renan Almendarez Coello, the DJ known as "El Cucuy" ("The Bogeyman"). El Cucuy dominated in mornings, posting a 10.1 share among adults 25-54 (the money demo), according to LARadio.com. Howard Stern (KLSX 97.1) led the demo among English listeners, with a 6.6 share -- down from winter ratings, and a sign that the post-2/1 content controversy, which fueled Howard's ratings, is dying down. KROQ's Kevin & Bean were third, with a 4.7 share.

Downtown Cocktails

After the kind of month or two we've had here at Franklin Avenue (house woes, car destruction, a Mojito from Ciudad sounds pretty damn good right about now. The L.A. Downtown News rounds up downtown's best cocktails, which they say also includes the Key Lime Martini at the Palm; Black Dahlia at the Biltmore's Gallery Bar; and the Downtown Martini at Pete's Cafe and Bar.

Scandal and the City

Maria and I try to hit new restaurants every time we make it to New York, and this past visit was quite productive. (Yes, if you're paying attention, Maria joined me in NYC mid-week... right after the tragic Volvo/Jetta incident.)

This time out we had a fantastic experience for lunch at Bouley and excellent dinners at Il Buco and Blue Ribbon Bakery (Rate-A-Restaurant reviews to come; thanx to Gothamist's Jen Chung for pointers.)

Then there are our usuals: Pommes Frites in the East Village (tip: dip your frites with the Sweet Mango Chutney Mayo, Hawaiian Pineapple Mustard or Rosemary Garlic Mayo; sadly, we had to skip Pommes Frites this time); Tamarind on 22nd (go to the tea shop next door and order one of the wraps); of course, Katz's Deli for pastrami; and, new this year -- thanks to Lisa for the tip -- Beard Papa (near her Upper West Side apartment) for freshly made cream puffs. Yes, you heard me. Cream puffs. Diet be damned. You get to eat all this when you walk around town all day.

But, of course, in a class all its own:

Magnolia Bakery's cupcakes!

It's a tradition: We usually hit Magnolia on a Sunday afternoon, right before heading to the airport. This year, we brought along Michelle, Emmie (visiting from LA too) and Marisol and Matt; it was Marisol's and Matt's first experience with the Cupcakes That Prove There Is A God. (Which we've made at home before, once with stellar results, once not so much. Another tip: Don't use skim milk. Trust us.)

As we devoured the sweet, sweet, literally sweet treats in the park across the street, along came a large, commercial bus. Michelle quickly figured out it was the Sex & the City Tour, which, yes, takes tourists around town to sites made famous on the HBO comedy.

Michelle had once taken the tour, when a friend was in town. (The "Sex" girls once made it to Magnolia -- hence the stop.) She revealed the fraud: Tourgoers are handed out cupcakes on the stop, which they hint are from Magnolia.

But these, sir, are not Magnolia cupcakes.

According to Michelle, who asked the tour leader whuzzz-up, they sheepishly admitted that Magnolia refused to take part in the tour.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the Sex & The City tour is handing out FAUX CUPCAKES and passing them off as from Magnolia!

Not shocked? That would be like passing by an In 'N' Out Burger while on a tour of Los Angeles... and then being handed a Whopper.

Indeed, we watched the tourists disembark the bus, stare across the street at Magnolia... and then get handed a cupcake from the tour leader's own bag. Oh, the humanity!

Rate-An-Airline

Airline: JetBlue Airways

Flight:Long Beach to JFK, roundtrip

Type of airline: Low-budget, but with amenities

They stipulated: No meal -- bring your food with you. And just one cabin -- there are no separate classes.

High point: Having 24 channels of DirecTV at your seat is cool (although the choice of channels was unusual -- VH1 Classic, Boomerang and Discovery Kids were among them) and the flights were mostly pleasant. Snacks are also on the high end -- blue potato chips, oatmeal cookies, etc. Also, if you're flying out at 7 in the morning, getting to Long Beach is a breeze. We left at 5 and got there by 5:30.

Low point: The DirecTV is great -- when it works. On the way to JFK, several channels would pop in and out due to flying conditions. And the leather seats are comfy-- but the cabin as a whole is a little cramped.

Overall impression: After hearing about how cool JetBlue is, I guess we were expecting something... more. I'm not sure what that is, since at the end of the day it's still an airline. The DirecTV came in handy when we were stuck on the runway for an hour at JFK, storms in the midwest preventing us from taking off. It was nice having your own terminals at Long Beach and JFK... although the Long Beach gate is nothing more than a portable building (JFK was nice -- and super fast -- however.)

Still, JetBlue was good enough for "The Station Agent" Peter Dinklage, who shared our flight. I would have said something to him... but he carried a pretty angry-looking scowl Sunday night in the Long Beach terminal.

Chance we will go back: If it makes sense. Not sure heading down to Long Beach always makes sense. But it was a nice enough experience, that perhaps -- especially as JetBlue continues to expand its service.

Pilots That Didn't Make The Grade

Now that the dust has settled and the networks have picked up their new shows for next season, it's time to *sigh* and think about what could have been... pilots that didn't quite make the grade.

Like ABC's Extreme Wart Removal: Home Edition. Show featured a team of out-of-work surgeons as they travel the streets, liquid nitrogen in hand, looking to scrape those nasty bumps off suffering neighborhood residents. Compound W had already signed on in a lucrative product placement deal.

Or CBS' CSI: CBS, centered on forensics specialists who investigate the tragic deaths of "Hack" and "The Brotherhood of Poland, N.H."

NBC passed on CGI Friends, in which network executives had secretly taken old footage of "Friends" stars Courtney Cox, David Schwimmer, Lisa Kurdow, Matthew Perry, Matt LeBlanc and Jennifer Aniston and put them into new settings and situations thanks to the power of computer animation. Voices dubbed by the cast of "Coupling."

Fox, I'm disappointed to say, passed on its hour of hard-core porn. Something about the mood in Washington not being right. There's always next year!

At WB, the network had seriously considered the young teen drama Britney & Christina, about two young friends and aspiring singers, one of whom will grow up to be a trampy superstar.

Then there's UPN, which considered putting back into production the late, great Shasta McNasty, following a strong push by fans on the Internet. (Turns out it was just one fan.)

As for Pax, the network was this/close but ultimately said no to Dead Air, a Monday through Friday hour of... dead air. Instead, the network picked up another season of the popular "Ab Rocker 5-Minute Ab Machine" informercial.

Happy Fall!

More Franklin Avenue At The Upfronts

I know, it's been a slow week here at Franklin Avenue. I've been a little busy here in NYC, while Maria is huddled in her workshop, plotting some sort of nasty revenge against a certain Volvo owner. (Or shall I say, former Volvo owner.)

But yes indeed, we're heading into the homestretch here at Upfront Central. Fox rounded out the pack, unveiling their schedule this afternoon at City Center. Show kicked off with a bi-coastal duet by last year's "American Idol" finalists, Clay Aiken and Ruben Studdard (who were in NYC) and this year's top two, the obvious winner Fantasia Barrino and the young Diana-Benet Ramsey (live from Los Angeles).

Some more observations:

:: Kiefer Sutherland: Good actor. Horrible public speaker. But the ladies love him anyway.

:: Talked to a Spelling TV exec Wednesday, who hopes there's still some life in the pilot "Silver Lake." UPN didn't pick it up for fall, but don't give up hope yet, Beck: Spelling still thinks there's a shot for midseason.

:: Our Patron Reality Show at Franklin Avenue, "The Amazing Race," got a strong show of support this week from CBS. The reality series, picked up for a sixth season, got a spot on the fall schedules. (Granted, on Saturday night, but TiVo knows what to do.

:: Most unusual trend: NBC, WB and Fox all showcased fun, goofy videos featuring their sales executives. Dressed as women. Apparently drag humor is big with network sales guys.

:: The networks laid out some cash this year, tapping big names to show up and do a few numbers for ad buyers in the audience. CBS brought out The Who (performing their classics, now used as "CSI" themes, natch), UPN had Usher (say it with me: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah), Phantom Planet (who perform "The OC" theme, "California") was the guest at Fox, while WB kicked off its presentation with Lenny Kravitz.

:: Gray Davis really does have a lot of time on his hands. The ex-guv appeared in CBS boss Leslie Moonves' annual upfront video, along with Pete Rose, Ray Romano, Liza Minelli and Dr. Phil. Video -- one of Moonves' best in years -- started out with Davis and Rose in a bar, arguing who had the worst year. (Davis: "I had the worst year -- being recalled!" Rose: "Wanna bet?")

Romano chimed in, complaining about the box office on "Welcome to Mooseport," while Liza was just... well, Liza. (An actress played a trashed Martha Stewart, face down on the bar.)

The camera then panned to Moonves. The network president recounted his woes-- "The Reagans." "The Real Beverly Hillbillies." Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction." Bartender Dr. Phil reminded Moonves that he should buck up, CBS was still No. 1. Moonves then jumped in a cab driven by Tony Danza, they hit a Donald Trump look alike and.. well, I guess you had to be there.

:: More to come. But I need a drink.

Ex-Girlfriends and Black Jettas

The evil Volvo, causing a path of destruction in its wake -- including the Shakespeare Bridge sign...

...and Maria's poor car!


Everyone, please run and buy yourself a Volvo if you know what's good for you.

There was a devastating crash on Franklin Avenue after midnight last night and alas, my little Jetta is no more.

A Volvo was speeding west on Franklin, down the hill right after the Shakespeare Bridge and somehow, crossed the center dividing lane -- taking with it signs for both the bridge and Franklin Hills. It slid to the opposite lane, crashed into a car and then bounced off to my Jetta. The impact sent the Jetta flying back about a hundred feet, past a driveway entry and into the SUV parked on the other side.

Part of my car went up the curb, losing the tire on the rear passenger side.

The Volvo ended up in the middle of the Franklin Avenue with one sign on the hood and the other by its front fender.

The driver and passenger walked away unscathed, walking around and very coherently trying to convince the cops that they were just going 38 mph.

The cops were unconvinced, as they measured how much my car jumped from its original parked location to its final destination. Plus, they discovered a little stash of somethin'-somethin' in their car.

Thanks to all my Franklin Avenue neighbors who helped take pictures and gather my stuff from my poor little car. Two other cars were affected last night and it was just a horrible thing to go through. Especially since this is the third time it's happened to us on this street. (Mike's Civic was destroyed last June; he wrote about it here. It was also hit in 2001.)

I guess it really is time to move.

Franklin Avenue At The Upfronts

While Maria is back in Los Angeles closing escrow on the house (ohboy, our home buying process was absolutely horrible... you'll be hearing about it in the coming days), I'm here in New York covering the hype as, one by one, network execs attempt to convince us why trust us, THIS time we got it right! We just came off Our Best Development Season... Ever! Honest.

Some notes:

::Told ya so. "Arrested Development" will be back. Whew. Critics love it, fans in the know adore it... but the ratings blow. So it was hardly a shoo-in to return. But things had been looking up for the brilliant comedy, especially after Fox put repeats of it on their summer schedule. Still, it wasn't a firm go until now. On behalf of all of the "Arrested" fans out there, I hugged Gail Berman for you. Literally.

::Best thing I just discovered about New York: The 3-1-1 phone service.
Picture this: I've arrived at Radio City Music Hall, just about to watch The Jeff Zucker Peacock-a-palooza. But first, a quick call to the off... holy crap, where's my phone?
I left it in the cab. Thank God for supercool Bravo publicist who's name I can't remember at the moment (BPWNICRATM for short), who loaned me her phone and told me to call 3-1-1. The 24-hour hotline basically helps out on all non-emergency related New York questions and needs.
The 3-1-1 folks hooked me up with the Taxi and Limo commission, who managed to track down my cab driver. (Thankfully, I had saved my receipt.) The cabbie got back to Radio City Music Hall, I got my phone back (and gave him a nice tip -- hey, I'm not always a cheapskate) and I finally got inside.

::So what are the upfronts anyway? And why are they called "upfronts"?

Well, young Timmy, I'm glad you asked. In TV sales, media buyers lock in ad time before the season begins -- hence they pay for those spots in big chunks of time periods upfront. (When advertisers buy ads piecemeal during the season, it's called "scatter.")

This is the week the networks unveil their fall schedules to the advertisers, who will then go to parties, get liquored up off the networks' dime and then eventually, in a few weeks, sit down with network sales execs to hammer out those "upfront" deals.

::Reality rules. Bottom line: The networks have embraced it, and now so have the advertisers. A well-done, emotionally charged trailer for NBC's upcoming Sylvester Stallone boxing reality show "The Contender" probably drew more tears from the audience than anything else at NBC's presentation Monday (did my eyes get misty too? No comment). And like a page out of bizarro-world, there stood chef (and "Restaurant" star) Rocco DiSpirito and "Apprentice" winner Bill, back-to-back, at the party thrown by William Morris. I had to walk through the two of them to head toward the bar -- and for a moment, felt like I was in the middle of a Reality Sandwich.

::More to come!

Wait A Minute... You Mean 'Fudge Packing' Doesn't Refer To The Workers At The Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory?!

What's great about this blog is we continue to hear from all sorts of different people who make up this fine city. (Including the pervs who keep landing on this site while looking for nude shots of Sharon Tay.)

One of our readers, Chris, writes in:

Hey there, my name's Chris. I was doing some surfing and came onto Franklin Avenue. I really like your blog. I agree that LA cant be covered by just one magazine. I read the Times, but I also love LA Weekly (mostly for the crossword and stripclub coupons) and the defunct New Times.

I am doing a project for school, a lexicon at www.encyclopedia-of-sex.com. I need to get people to submit words to it and I was wondering if you could help. I was thinking about a link exchange or maybe just mention it on your site. Any help you could give would be greatly appreciated.

Indeed, Chris' site is one-stop shopping for any of you tired of using the same sexually explicit language over and over again. (I'm looking your way, Sue Johanson!) Recently added terms include "ballbusting," "koochie," "snowballing" and "Eiffel Tower." I'll let you visit the site to figure them out for yourself.

Return From The Moon?

Today marks the 20th anniversary of comedian Andy Kaufman's death. Of course, much has been made through the years over whether Kaufman's really dead.

Kaufman's old pal Bob Zmuda has kept the Elvis-style mystery alive through the years by periodically showing up to events dressed as Kaufman's lounge lizard character, Tony Clifton.

"Clifton" will headline tonight's Kaufman tribute at the House of Blues, sponsored by Zmuda's Comic Relief charity org.

Title of the event? "Andy Kaufman: Dead or Alive?" Sez the official website: Andy himself stated that were he to fake his death, he would return 20 years later to the day. MAY 16TH 2004 IS THAT DAY. Over one hundred personal ads will be taken out, across the country and abroad, reminding him of his words. Will he show?

Adding to the mystery, Zmuda stresses on the site that Audience members will not be allowed to enter or leave the theater during the last 30 minutes of Andy Kaufman -- Dead or Alive?

LA Weekly profiled the continuing Kaufman mystique in a cover story last month.

(Belch!) 50 Years of Bud in Van Nuys

You pass by it while speeding down the 405 in the Valley -- that behemoth Budweiser plant. Budweiser? In Van Nuys?

As the Daily News reports, that plant -- which celebrates 50 years of operation this month -- remains a "cornerstone for the beer empire":

Today, 1,050 workers make 18 different brands, producing 12 million barrels each year on 11 lines. At full speed, the brewery can make 150 cans of beer every second.

"The brewing process has remained unchanged -- the yeast goes all the way back to 1876," said Gary Lee, who's managed the plant for the past 12 years. "The packaging, the materials, the systems, that's all changed. It's gotten more sophisticated, so we can process much more than we did 50 years ago."

LA Observed guru and Valley historian Kevin Roderick could probably tell you a lot more, but the Budweiser plant was also home to the Busch Gardens theme park and bird preserve from 1966 to 1979.

And yes, in case you were wondering, employees still get two free cases of beer a month.

'The Fisher Fling'

That's what the L.A. Times is calling Derek Fisher's miracle shot at the end of tonight's game, with 0.4 seconds left on the clock. Lakers won, 74-73, and now lead the series with San Antonio 3-2.

L.A.'s Limited Magazine Scene

It's a common complaint -- Los Angeles just won't support a second city magazine. Ask anyone who worked at, or even just read, the late, lamented Buzz.

Patt Morrison -- yes, the woman with the wacky hats (you were wondering, so I might as well satisfy your curiosity) -- discusses L.A.'s magazine conundrum in the L.A. Times' Calendar Weekend section, arguing that it's useless trying to paint Los Angeles with one stroke via a general interest mag. Niche publications are the way to cover this city, she says:

To write about L.A. for L.A. presumes there is "a" Los Angeles, but just as L.A. defies conventional templates of cityhood, its psycho-geography defies the standard-issue magazine. L.A. is a vast centrifuge that flings people across hundreds of miles of neighborhoods. Unlike the dense urbs of Europe and the East Coast, this place has few common actions, little common dialogue, few common characters — apart from movie stars, and mags in Ouagadougou can write about them. In L.A., "the mayor" is a different guy or gal in each of scores of cities, and a "well-known fact" in Silver Lake may be as much a mystery in Calabasas as it is in Kiev.

With that out of the way, Morrison critiques a handful of Los Angeles-based mags -- although, interestingly, she leaves out Distinction, the upscale pub recently launched by the L.A. Times' sales department. Hmm.

Here's what she says about Los Angeles mag: "Los Angeles mag is to the local glossy pub biz what the Tournament of Roses is to holiday parades — the granddaddy. It's a grand slam page-turner through the Los Angeles the world believes we all live in — the glitzkrieg Westside of L.A.'s rich and gorgeous, the theme park ride where You Must Be This Blond to Enter."

And Los Angeles Confidential: "The best I can say about this is that it doesn't pretend to be anything more than what it is: derivative, empty, glossy, utterly indulgent, guilty-pleasure junk-food gossip calories."

Angeleno: "Everything between its covers has the brevity that makes Angeleno perfectly suited to be the official magazine of Those Waiting for Friends in the Lobby of the Standard, or Those Waiting to Get the Bandages Off the New Nose in the Plastic Surgeon's Office."

Morrison also critiques Ingenue, Metro Pop, Anthem, Fugue, Beautiful Decay, Giant Robot and Arkitip.

Pilot Seazzzzon

In the world of TV, there's fall, there's midseason, and then there's pilot season. (Oh yeah, and then summer -- when the whole maddening cycle basically starts all over again.)

Pilot season, of course, culminates next week with the annual broadcast network upfront presentations in New York, when TV toppers pimp their wares to an audience of too-hip-for-the-room media buyers at spots such as Carnegie Hall (CBS), Radio City Music Hall (NBC), the New Amsterdam Theater (ABC), and the coffee and bagel cart at 52nd and 3rd (Pax TV).

This week, of course, is consumed with last minute gossip trading as agents, execs and others attempt to find out what's hot -- and what's not -- in the network screening rooms. Sometimes the buzz is deafening, but most of the time it's pretty bogus.

To help you wade through the muck, mystery blogger "Leslie McZucker" has launched "Our Best Development Season... Ever!" -- a play on the common refrain from every network executive this time of year (usually followed, six months later, by the sheepish admittance that, "Um, OK, so maybe that wasn't such a great development season. Our bad!")

Who is Leslie McZucker? Can't say. But he's the latest in a recent string of anonybloggers, including Defamer and fellow newcomer A Fly On The Wall, who has offered up some juicy stuff in recent days.

A Fly on the Wall's most recent post, for example, lampoons SAG for demanding that producers for the feature production "Be Cool" send in timesheets signed by co-star Robert Pastorelli. The problem: Pastorelli's been dead for two months.

An "Only In L.A." Moment

Arriving at work this morning, I jumped on the elevator and pressed the "Lobby" button. But just as the doors were about to close, a hand popped through the crack, opening the doors once again.

A pregnant woman hopped on board. Clearly seven or eight months pregnant, her agility impressed me.

It was a short ride, but we were able to carry on this exchange:

PREGNANT WOMAN: "You work in this building?"

ME: "Yup, I do."

PREGNANT WOMAN: "Do you know what floor 'Blind Date' is on?"

ME: "Sixth floor -- take the elevator bank on the right."

PREGNANT WOMAN: "Thanks!"

And with that, she sprinted up to the show's offices.

Wow. That's gonna be a very special "Blind Date."

L.A. Gets Dishy

Long underserved by gossip, Los Angeles dish seems to be heating up in recent days.

Of course, there's new Gawker spin-off Defamer, which is already making some waves thanks to its tasty blend of snark served up fresh, several times daily.

But also, LA.com's LA COMfidential blog, which has gone through periods of intense activity -- followed by moments of complete silence -- now promises to up the ante, via the fictional blog de plume "Dolly de Puyster."

Here's Dolly's first blind item:

His macho friends swear that this sexy big-time actor plays exclusively on the straight guys’ team. We’re not so sure. Not when we know how hot he got for that lesser-known hunk many years his junior (who, though built and gorgeous, is no master thespian).

Mr. Big Stuff gets all atwitter when he spots the younger hunk at a Hollywood premiere, sends over one of his goons to chat him up, and before you know it, he’s spinning the youthful straight guy’s head with talk of how talented he is, how he'd like to take him under his wing, give him career advice, hook him up with all the right acting coaches and, hopefully, slip him a dramatic role in his next film.

After weeks of wooing with deep chats, acting master classes and several drunken nights of bar-hopping, the older dude got the night of amour he was after--and, finding his world less than rocked, quickly moved on to another stud, who got the lead in his next movie.

So? Who is it? Anyone?

The Radio Revolution Misses The Valley

The Daily News finally discovers Indie 103.1 -- but you can't necessarily blame them for being late to the party. Given the station's weak signal, it can barely be heard in the San Fernando Valley:

For Valley residents... Indie 103.1 and its remarkable playlist is but a rumor. While you can get it on the Internet, once you hit the Santa Monica Mountains on the 405, you'd better pop in that "Rock 'n' Roll High School" CD — or switch to alt-rock powerhouse (and KDLD competitor) KROQ-FM (106.7). Because right around Mulholland Drive, KDLD begins to sound like a thrift-store copy of a Velvet Underground album.

Welcome To The O.C., bitch! No, Really! Welcome To The O.C.!

Remember last summer, when Orange County collectively scoffed at Fox's new drama "The O.C."?

Well, get with it -- that's so 2003. The land that brought us Disneyland, Wally George and No Doubt has now embraced the show, the L.A. Times reports:

This week, as the Fox network show finishes its first year, Orange County is celebrating a pop-culture phenomenon that some say has created a new image for a place once known only for Mickey Mouse and John Wayne. Like "thirtysomething" more than a decade ago, the show has been so successful that its very name has become a catch phrase. Even locals now blithely refer to their home as "The O.C." without irony.

It's not just an ego trip. Business boosters, encouraged by a buzz among young people across the country, are rubbing their hands with glee at the prospect of increased tourism.

Tony Address

At the risk of this here blog turning into one large congratulatory embrace toward our friends... this one deserves it.

Congrats to Steph D'Abruzzo -- a friend from the dorm back at Northwestern -- for landing a friggin' Tony nomination today!

A Tony nom. Dude, that's beyond awesome. Steph got the nod for performing as Kate Monster, the "single puppet looking for love," in the Broadway smash "Avenue Q."

She'll be up against Kristin Chenoweth ("Wicked"), Idina Menzel ("Wicked"), Donna Murphy ("Wonderful Town") and Tonya Pinkins ("Caroline, or Change"). Go Steph!

Hollywood's Orphan Custody Epidemic

It was bound to happen. Either Hollywood execs and writers have caught one too many runs of "Baby Boom" on WE: Women's Entertainment or the idea mill has finally run dry.

Either way, for some reason stories about young, hip single people suddenly forced to raise their dead relative's children are hot, hot, hot!

To boot:

"Raising Helen" (Upcoming Touchstone feature starring Kate Hudson): "After her sister and brother-in-law die in a car accident, a young woman becomes the guardian of their three children."

"Summerland" (Upcoming WB network drama starring Lori Laughlin): "Single, young public defender's life changes drastically when she finds herself taking care of her sister's and brother in-law's three children after their parents die in an accident."

"Kat Plus One" (ABC drama pilot): "A young New York publicist's (Marisa Coughlan) life changes when she has to raise her nephew."

"Kevin Hill" (UPN drama pilot): "A young attorney (Taye Diggs) must give up his playboy lifestyle when he winds up raising his cousin's infant daughter."

Hmm. Lemme guess. At first, the lead characters will resent their newfound responsibilities and wistfully look back at their carefree, single days. By the second act, they'll be looking into ways at moving the kids to another relative. But by the denouement, they'll realize just how rewarding it is to leave behind those carefree days to become a responsible parent to these orphans.

Project Goldsmith

Congrats to our pal Jeff, who has made it to onto the list of Top 50 Contestants for this year's Project Greenlight (which moves to Bravo this year)!

The official Project Greenlight website will be posting the Top 50 Filmmaker entry videos shortly; we haven't seen Jeff's yet, but from the way he described it to us, it sounds pretty damn cool. Good luck on the next round!

'Friends'-zy

So that's it -- after Thursday night, it's all done. The "Friends" frenzy, of course.

The one-hour finale ended on an up note, after Rachel (Sarah Jessica Parker) moved to Paris with Mikhail Gorbachev, while Mr. Big (David Schwimmer) finally discovered his true feelings for her, raced to France and brought her back home. Meanwhile, Charlotte and Chandler adopted a baby and Joey moved in with his sister, Adriana. And the gang then all went out for Cosmopolitans at Central Perk and a foosball table was destroyed.

Or something like that.

Keeping Up With the Times

Apparently the L.A. Times is pondering a website design change; on a whim I decided to fill out a design survey LATimes.com had sent to our email address.
Here's the potential new look:

Not bad. But I thought the current site already boasted a fine design. This version appears to include less news on its main page, which would be disappointing. Like reading an actual newspaper, I enjoy stumbling across stories I might not have otherwise searched for.

Free Bungalows!

While the LA Unified School District still ponders the fate of the Ambassador Hotel, the property's huge two-story bungalows -- once the home-away-from-home for actors, rock stars and dignitaries -- have already been marked for demolition.

The L.A. Conservancy, focused on saving the main hotel building, has regretfully decided to take a loss on the bungalows, which LAUSD wants to clear to make room for more school land.

Still, there's a chance the buildings can still be saved. According to the L.A. Times, The district has offered to give them away to anyone who will move them. But so far, no takers have come forward, although four of the buildings were designed by Myron Hunt and two by Paul Williams, both architects of note.

The catch?

The buildings, which range from 8,400 square feet to 61,000 square feet, are empty, asbestos-riddled and showing their age, some dating to the 1920s... Anyone who agrees to take the bungalows faces some hefty, though still unknown, moving bills. The bungalows would have to be removed from foundations, carved up for transportation and then reassembled.

Only one potential taker has expressed interest so far -- but he dropped out after learning what it would take to move the properties.

Skip The Movie, Just Head to the Strip

The Sunset Strip is fast becoming ground zero in the movie marketing world. A billboard promoting weather disaster flick "The Day After Tomorrow" was slated to go up last night at Sunset and La Cienega, showering people with rain and snow.

And as LA.com reported last month, a real, working White Castle is expected to open at Sunset and Sweetzer later this summer. The temporary location will be used to promote New Line's "Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle."

Hope they go over better than 20th's "Man On Fire" promotion in Corona and Temecula.

Oops.

A Slice of Los Angeles

It's easy to take shots at the L.A. Times. But those easy shots trivialize some of the strong work being done over there -- such as the powerful stuff by reporter Jill Leovy.

Her latest piece focuses on Rodney and Vivian Murray, a middle-class couple who opted to stay in South Los Angeles even as the neighborhood changed for the worse -- and most of their contemporaries fled. But the Murrays felt a duty to stay in the home that they've lived in for 20 years.

A few weeks ago, their 20-year-old son Sean, a quiet young man free of any gang association, was killed a few blocks from home. Victim of random violence.

The Murrays are finally moving. Listen, you may think this kind of story is cliche by now. I don't. I don't think it's told enough.

By the Time I Get to Coachella...

Alas, escrow issues and other matters kept us away from Coachella this past weekend, and I missed a chance to see the Pixies (the Pixies! In our lifetime!), Radiohead and, of course, the Cure.

Plenty of bloggers did make it, however. Matt Welch offers up this tantalizing tease:

At one point during the weekend, my wife was in a hotel room with Robert Smith for an extended period of time, as he played his new record, drank & stuck his tongue out, and rebuffed an evangelical's attempt to convert him to Christianity. It's a really great and weird story, but it's not mine to tell.

I'm not sure what that all means. But I'd love to find out.

Questionable Intelligence

This was the source of our mall terror alert? This is the best we can do? Anyone else here think we oughta just ask the executive producers of "24" and "Threat Matrix" to come up with a smarter, workable intelligence agency?

"Stupid Truck!"

With the return of dry heat, it's that time again -- A new batch of wildfires have already hit Southern California. Fires burned 15,000 acres outside Corona and Temecula in recent days.

Safe bet: Methinks you probably won't be seeing Chuck Henry out there covering the blazes anytime soon. (KROQ replayed his teary-eyed "stupid truck" audio the other day, from when his KNBC van burned up -- and he narrowly escaped. Still priceless. See the video here.)

Cry for Help

This could very well be the saddest email I've ever gotten:

Dear Michael,

I would like to know how to be a contestant in 'The Swan.' I love the show and would love to change many things about my features. I used to be in the Marine Corps for 7 and a half years. I had to get out of the military due to a rare disease called difuse colonic inertia.

I have gained weight and have acne due to all of the surgeries. I see how beautiful you make these women look and used to be very pretty myself until all this stuff happened three years ago. Please let me know.

Thanks

I'm blocking out the name. Yikes. I guess I should forward this email to Fox, yes?

Nobody Gawks In L.A.

Well, until now... Gawker's Hollywood sibling, Defamer went online this morning.

Early report: So far, so good... a nice mix of snark and gossip. Once the word of mouth spreads, I'm thinking Defamer will be quickly embraced by a town hungry for any sort of gossip columnist. (Something L.A. woefully lacks -- sorry, that two-column repeat of Liz Smith's column in the L.A. Times is just sad, sad, sad.) It's good timing too -- the network upfronts take place in just two weeks, and the summer blockbuster season is rapidly approaching.

After all, this stuff writes itself: In the news today, Rosie O'Donnell is starring as a mentally retarded bus rider for an upcoming CBS movie!

But now the real game begins: Figuring out just who the "Defamer" is. From the author's bio: He's nobody -- just another Hollywood peon, maybe another PA on the set. Or he could be your assistant -- you know, the one you just made fetch your dogs from the groomer? That wasn't very nice of you.

He could be the one actually putting in those script edits you were screaming about last night, or the one with the polite smile working your agent's desk, or deep in the agency mailroom... Anyway, he's somewhere in Hollywood.

And in any event -- don't worry about it. Really.

Any guesses? Does our boy Ben Fritz, he of "Dateline Hollywood" and "Spinsanity" fame, have time to write for another site? Is someone from blogging.la or a pre-existing blogger listed in the blogroll on LABlogs.com moonlighting? Is it me? (Sorry, tell-tale sign it isn't: Defamer points to more Hollywood Reporter stories than Variety.) Is it the actor who plays Dan, the Del Taco spokesman?

Any ideas, e-mail 'em in!

California: Trend Setter Yet Again

USA TODAY item: Gas prices resumed a record-setting pace after a slight respite last week, the government reported Monday, as the nationwide average for a gallon of regular unleaded rose 3.2 cents to $1.844.

It means a $2 nationwide average is likely, soon.

"There are a lot of places in the country where they've never had to put a '2' on those (gas station) signs, but we'll see $2 a lot," says Tom Kloza, senior oil analyst at the Oil Price Information Service.

Let me break out the violin for the rest of the nation. We've been paying upwards of $2.19 a gallon for at least two months, perhaps more, out here on the West Coast. And, I hate to say it, but I think we're collectively getting used to it, too. I'm downright giddy when I see regular unleaded at $2.09. (I'm sure you're driving less, too, yes? Huh? Who are you? You're kidding, right?)

Exposing His Shortcomings

Playwright/filmmaker Brian Flemming's been a busy guy lately; the co-author of "Bat Boy: The Musical" and founder of Sundance alternative Slumdance (see his blog here) is now taking on Gov. Schwarzengroper.

Flemming was incensed in particular at the Gov's legal maneuvers to keep Todd Bosley from making a bobble-head caricature of Schwarzenegger. Schwarzenegger lawyer Martin Singer argued that the bobble head infringed on Schwarzenegger's "publicity" rights.

"Yes, you read that right: Singer and Schwarzenegger feel that the California governor is the first politican in history to be immune from caricature," Flemming writes.

So Flemming took things into his own hands and published "Sue Me, A$$hole," daring the Guv's peeps to chase after him. The book's cover contains a widely-circulated naked picture of Schwarzenegger from his glory weight training days. Inside, the book contains the cease-and-desist letter from Singer to Bosley. Singer, believe it or not, says he even owns the copyright to that letter.

The small book is coming out from Flemming's Fair Use Press, an arm of his Slumdance festival.

Rate-A-Restaurant, #41 in a series

Restaurant: A.O.C.

Location:8022 West 3rd Street (Fairfax district), Los Angeles

Type of restaurant: Mediterranean-style tapas and wine bar

They stipulated: Make reservations -- waaaaay in advance.

What we ordered: Cheese plate: Fleur du Maquis Corsica (France; sheep's milk) ($5); avocado, schaner farm citrus and green olive salad ($8); albacore, fava beans, spring onion and mint ($12); grilled skirt steak with green garlic aioli ($14); artichokes, blood oranges and house-smoked ricotta ($9) and wild mushrooms persillade ($12)

High point: The albacore and skirt steak were indeed delicious; but the cheese was a nice surprise (mild, yet different) and we were really pleased with the artichoke/orange/ricotta combo. And this being a wine bar, the list was extensive -- including the selections by the glass.

Low point: I had read in Los Angeles mag, which in January named AOC one of its ten best new restaurants, that AOC poured half-glasses of wine -- giving you a chance to try several choices. Our waiter said that wasn't true.

Overall impression: Maria and I like tapas (hence our excitement for the soon-to-open Silver Lake branch of Cobras & Matadors), so I thought AOC (short for Appellation d'Origine Controlee) would be a perfect place to take her for a birthday dinner. It succeeded. Not only was she impressed with the choice, but the plates we chose were a fine cross-section of what the restaurant had to offer.

Meanwhile, the decor is Pottery Barn chic, and we got a table smack plum in the middle of the dining room, perfect for people watching. To one side of us, David Alan Grier was out on either a business dinner, date or both (the two were chatting about talk shows and the syndication biz the entire evening, yet seemed to get cozy at the end of dinner). Grier has a pretty out-there persona when it comes to his guest spots on "Jimmy Kimmel" or "Kevin & Bean" but was all business and no laughs at dinner. To the other side of us was someone we dubbed Ms. High Maintenance. Ms. Maintenance wound up with a free dessert after passive aggressively telling the waiter that, oh, she didn't mind that none of the fish dishes I want were available tonight.

Chance we will go back: AOC is obviously a special occasion or business dinner kind of place. But I'd love to try more of their plates.

For a complete archive of our Rate-A-Restaurant reviews, check out our companion ratearestaurant.blogspot.com website.

Happy Birthday, Maria!

You rock my world! And next year, if all goes as planned, we'll be celebratin' in Glendale!

Trends Mike Doesn't Like

Ahh, neon colors are back -- and being splashed across the covers of most general entertainment consumer magazines. Hot pink, sharp yellow, lime green, flourescent blue... egads, the '80s have returned! I half expect to see that drippy paint look and cheesy, futuristic fonts, alongside stories about Madonna vs. Cyndi Lauper.

I get it. These bright, obnoxious colors are one way to grab consumers' attention at the checkout line. And magazines like Star have never boasted a classy, clean design, so why start now... but I expect better from mags like People.

HOT!

Yikes. As a side note, I discovered a huge patch of mint in Maria's mother's backyard the other day. I do believe Mojitos are in order on Sunday...

A Wake in Hollywood

As Franklin Avenue mentioned here two months ago, Hollywood's most unique attraction -- the Velaslavasay Panorama -- was about to be shut down.

Although not a well-known spot, the Panorama caught your eye while driving down Hollywood Blvd. Modeled after the panoramic art and exhibits popular up until the 18th century, the Velaslavasay featured a 70-foot painting by Sera Velas that depicted the L.A. Basin as it looked several hundred years ago.

The Panorama building will be razed to make room for a Whole Foods Market (a sign the area -- one of Hollywood's toughest -- is truly beginning gentrify).

Maria and I drove by the Panorama last Sunday, just as fans and friends of Vela (some dressed in period attire) came to say their goodbyes as part of a wake.

Things got vicious when the anger turned against Whole Foods -- and it appeared like a Whole Foods Market effigy would be burned.

Angry Panorama supporters lash out at Whole Foods

Crowd, some dressed in period attire, gets in on the act


The Panorama's website says the group is actively looking for a new home, now that their old haunt is officially over. But so far, nothing of note.

Los Angeles North?

A minor debate has begun to rage over whether new L.A. Times Editorial Page Editor Michael Kinsley will be able to keep up on local doings, even though he'll split his time between Los Angeles and Seattle.

The former "Crossfire" host has been based in Seattle for some time, having moved there to help launch Slate with Microsoft.

Holding down a big Los Angeles-based media job while actually living in the Pacific Northwest? Kinsley might want to consult with KROQ DJ Gene "Bean" Baxter, one-half of the morning drive Kevin & Bean duo.

Baxter has lived on an island off the coast of Washington for several years now, utilizing a complicated ISDN hook up to seamlessly continue on the show every morning despite living almost 2,000 miles away up north.

Critical to a morning show is finding a way to stay topical and relevant to local readers. So although Baxter has a Washington driver's license, pays that state's taxes and rarely makes it down to L.A., the show forces him to stay current with the politics and culture of the city. And to briefly give the illusion that he's actually down here (although the DJ freely admits on air that he's broadcasting from a farm up north).

Key L.A. day-to-day media figures with Washington state addresses? I'd say it was a trend, but we need one more example.