I Love L.A..... We Love It!

What a great day to be in Los Angeles!

:: According to Federal officials, terrorists may be planning to attack a Westside mall sometime today. (Thank God they waited until after B&J Free Cone Day!)

:: Item from the American Lung Association, via the Daily News: Southern California's air quality remains among the worst in the nation with the region earning a failing mark in the new category of particulate matter in addition to the F grade it regularly gets for ozone, a study released today says.

:: New report from The Road Information Project reveals that Los Angeles motorists drive on some of the worst freeways and roads in the country. According to the study, written up in the Daily News: L.A. drivers have to pay an additional $705 a year for wear and tear on their vehicles.

Los Angeles leads the nation in bad roads for the second consecutive year. Five other California urban areas -- San Jose, San Francisco-Oakland, San Diego, Sacramento and Riverside-San Bernardino -- were also on the top-10 list.

:: On the plus side: Cake Wars!

Over the Hillmont

Hillmont, Steven Arroyo's well-reviewed modern steakhouse in Los Feliz/Silver Lake, is no more.

That's the bad news. But Eastsiders take heart: Arroyo will fill the space with a new outpost of his wildly popular Cobras & Matadors tapas restaurant.

And according to the L.A. Times Food section, this outpost will even sell beer and wine -- unlike the original Beverly Blvd. location, which is strictly BYOB.

Autobit

Via Romenesko, the Philadelphia Inquirer reports how more people are writing their own newspaper obits.

The paper writes: Funeral directors, hospice workers, ministers and newspapers say they're seeing an increase in self-written obituaries, which are making their way into the organized person's "important papers" files, along with burial plans and wills.

Many people are finding that writing their own obituaries can be an inspiring experience, bringing families together. And getting their names and stories published - for most people, for the first and only time - is a commitment to posterity.

One of my first-ever assignments our freshman year at Northwestern's Medill School of Journalism required us to write our own obituary.

I got an "F."

Medill has a very strict grading policy: You get a fact wrong, any fact, and it's an automatic fail.

And it was a careless mistake. I wrote that "Schneider had received a scholarship from the Hawaii chapter of the Society for Professional Journalists."

Oops. As I should have doublechecked, it's called the "Society of Professional Journalists." Hence the "F." But throughout my four years at Medill, I'm proud to say it wound up being the only "F" that I ever received.

Would I Lion To You?

Item: Griffith Park will post Mountain Lion warnings in the coming weeks.

Decision comes after a mountain lion was spotted in the northwest section of the park by a park ranger, city public works superintendent and several equestrians, reports the L.A. Times:

Mountain lions probably frequent the popular park but haven't been spotted before, said Lt. Martin Wall of the state Fish and Game Department.

Officials were to look at maps today to decide where to post signs that the park is a mountain lion habitat.

In other words, stop rubbing your hands in raw beef from Ralph's before jogging alone up in the mountains. Your word to the wise from Franklin Avenue!

No Sucking Way?

You think KCRW freaking out over one F-bomb is bad? According to Current magazine, NPR mainstay "Fresh Air with Terry Gross" recently went nuts over the word "suck."

Yup, a word even 4 year olds use to refer to something they don't like. Apparently its occassional use as a sex-oriented euphemism freaked out "Fresh Air" producers, even if the usage had nothing to do with sex and everything about simply not liking something.

As a result, a clip of a song from up and coming 19-year-old artist Nellie McKay was bleeped:

Though McKay was insulting somebody and not talking about sex, the word's sexual connections make it a no-no in the new landscape of media regulation. Miller cut out the offending word and spliced it in backwards, leaving alert Fresh Air listeners to wonder why McKay would think something "skcus."

Welcome to the world, post-2/1.

Grove 2: Electric Booglaoo

The Glendale City Council has approved a change in zoning, giving Rick Caruso another green light to build a new shopping/housing complex.

Called "Americana on Brand," the $264 million, 15.5 acre development will be built next to the Glendale Galleria. Caruso, the developer behind the Grove, is once again responsible.

But, as the L.A. Times reports -- and you'd probably expect -- the Galleria isn't taking this without a fight. The mall, located next to the Americana on Brand site, will now likely challenge the Americana on Brand environmental review.

Here's The Scoop

The day we've been waiting for all year is here: Free Cone Day at
Ben & Jerry's.

I'll be heading to the newest location at the West Hollywood Gateway (corner of Santa Monica and La Brea) -- hopefully twice today. You can also find B&J in Westwood (1148 South Westwood Boulevard), Sherman Oaks (15301 Ventura Boulevard), Santa Monica (2441 Main St.), Northridge (at the Northridge Fashion Center), Manhattan Beach (350 N. Sepulveda), Malibu (3824 Crosscreek Road), Century City (at the Century City Shopping Center), Brentwood (11740 San Vicente Boulevard) and Burbank (across from the new AMC Theaters, 164 E. Palm Avenue).

Sorry, readers on the Warner Bros. lot -- your special little B&J location isn't participating.

Tomorrow: Baskin-Robbins' turn!

Save the Ambassador

It feels as if momentum may be turning against preservation of the Ambassador Hotel -- which makes it more important than ever to contact the Board of Education and urge L.A. Unified to save the historic building.

The Downtown News reports this week that a community group that calls itself RFK-12 is urging LAUSD to stop dragging its feet and start building a new high school on the site.

And as I mentioned yesterday, it's still questionable how committed LAUSD really is to finding a way to convert the historic site into a high school (rather than just tearing the whole thing down and building a new structure, much like they're doing at the old Metromedia Square/Fox TV site). "Barbie Loves L.A." author Greg LaVoi told us how the school district initially didn't want him shooting pictures of the Ambassador -- because he was planning to portray the building in its original form as a grand hotel. (They wanted him to shoot it as a school; they later gave him permission.)

On the plus side, a group of community and entertainment figures have finally come together and formed the "A+ Coalition" to fight the potential demolition of the site.

Why is it so important to save this building? And why are we so concerned here at Franklin Avenue? Read the L.A. Conservancy's tip sheet.

Also, here's a great tribute site filled with info, trivia and pictures about the Ambassador.

And, of course, here are the shots Maria and I took inside the Ambassador when we got a chance to lurk around the old hotel last year.

LAUSD is now expected to make its final decision on the fate of the building in a few weeks. Again, if you haven't yet, send in a letter to the Board of Education.

Angel Eyes

The fans of recently canceled WB drama "Angel" have discovered this here blog.

And they're, um, not too happy with my previous post about the show, in which I discussed the hundreds of postcards I had received at work urging me to do all I could to save "Angel."

As I wrote at the time: I suppose it would be too easy at this point to lament the fact that all of that energy could be better harnessed to feed the hungry or shelter the homeless. But hey, there's a TV show to be saved here! (And I've been busy waging my own "Renew 'Arrested Development'" campaign, cornering every Fox exec I can find.)

Besides the mail, these "Angel" fans have purchased ads in Variety, bought billboards around town, have started a blood drive campaign (there you go! Some positive harnessing!) and continue to barrage WB topper Jordan Levin with all sorts of gifts. But alas, I think this work will be in vain. "Angel" isn't coming back.

Well. Hell hath no fury like a few "Angel" fans scorned. I've heard from several fans who have emailed us or posted below to point out that, in the name of saving the show, "Angel" fans have indeed donated much money to food drives and other worthy causes.

I stand corrected. The show's still dead. But I stand corrected.

...And I Ran, I Ran So Far Away...

Fresh off her finish in last month's L.A. Marathon, Jess ran the much shorter-- and much kitschier -- Nike Run Hit Wonder this weekend in downtown.

Jess even grabbed Jeff to join in and see artists like A Flock of Seagulls, Devo and Tone Loc performing along the 5K route. She files this report:

My boyfriend, Jeff, and I ran the second annual Nike Run Hit Wonder yesterday down by the Coliseum – along with about 20,000 other people.

It’s more than your standard 5K/10K – along the way you get to hear a bunch of one-hit wonder bands perform live. First up was A Flock of Seagulls. We took a little break by their stage just so we could hear them sing the chorus of “I Ran.” These guys sounded great, but they still need to work on their hair. Remember their big ’80s hair? It’s been replaced by long, scraggly ’90s hair.

Next up was General Public. They too sounded good, but we were too anxious to get to the next performer to take a break here. As strains of "Tenderness" faded away, we could here the thump-thump of rap off in the distance. We ran
closer. The thump-thump got stronger. Then we started to hear it – bits and pieces of lyrics:

“wild thing on my leg…”
“…used to scratch and bit me…”
“…he was much much meaner….”

I knew what was next: “But now all the poodles run to my house for the Funky Cold Medina.”

That’s right – Tone Loc. As we approached, though, he stopped singing and started chatting. We moved on just as he
started rapping over Michael Jackson’s “Man inthe Mirror” – I have no idea why.

Right outside the entrance to the Coliseum, we saw the VH1 Bands Reunited “mystery band” of the day: Dramarama. For the life of me, though, I can’t remember any of their songs. (You probably know their one hit, "Anything, Anything" -- it's the one where the guy screams, "I'll give you candy, give you diamonds, give you pills, I'll give you anything you want, hundred dollar bills. I even let you watch the shows you want to see, because you married me, married me, married me"
-- Mike)

Then we got to run through the dark tunnel of the Coliseum to the finish line where everyone got a medal. (We missed Tommy Tutone – we was only on the 10K route.)

We grabbed some water and donuts and started to make our way over to the stage where the final band (Devo) was going to perform. Then I looked up and saw him – the star of my favorite TV show from my college years.

“Quantum Leap’s” Scott Bakula.

Woo hoo! He was all hot and sweaty. (It looked like he’d finished the 10K right around the time we’d finished the 5K.) I wiped the smile off my face and we continued toward the stage.

Devo took to the stage (in some awesome Nike-designed outfits, by the way) about 9:20 and played their hearts out for 45 minutes. Aside from a small fire (caused by some lights getting too hot) (Wait, did the roadies for Great White handle the stage? -- Mike), the show was perfect.

I can’t wait to see who they get to perform next year. Personally, I’m hoping for Toni Basil.

Thanks for the report, Jess! Maria and I may have to join in next year...

Book 'Em

Maria and I managed to make it to the annual Los Angeles Times Book Festival this Sunday right before it closed.

Making our way to UCLA, we parked in the Ralphs/Best Buy/Longs parking lot and hoofed it to campus, immediately heading for the Angel City Press booth.

As far as books on pop culture and local Los Angeles history goes, we're both huge fans of the Angel City Press catalog. (Angel City puts it this way on their website: Drenched in nostalgia yet undeniably cool, each Angel City Press book is luxuriously illustrated and showcases the modern design concepts of California's top graphic artists.)

Sitting at the booth was author Greg LaVoi, signing copies of his book "Barbie Loves L.A." We quickly picked up a copy and had Greg sign it.

If you haven't seen it, or any of its writeups in the L.A. Times and Los Angeles magazine, the book is a visual treat for people (like us) obsessed with L.A.'s classic landmarks.

LaVoi, an Emmy-nominated costume designer, took vintage Barbie dolls, dressed them to the period, and, via some amazing work in creating visual perception with photography, places her in front of, and interacting with, L.A. sites.

That includes shots of 1950s Barbie shopping at Bullock's Wilshire... filling up gas at the vintage 76 station in Beverly Hills... catching a flight in front of LAX's Theme Building... Grabbing a bite in front of Perino's... and plenty more.

LaVoi said he had no problem getting permission to use the landmarks... except the Ambassador Hotel. LaVoi eventually was able to shoot Barbie standing in front of a microphone outside the Cocoanut Grove... but only after twisting the L.A. Unified School District's arm. LAUSD didn't want the Ambassador portrayed as the historical hotel it is... nope, the school board wanted the Ambassador portrayed as a school. The LAUSD eventually relented when LaVoi threatened to tell his story to the L.A. Times.

Yup, L.A. Conservancy, that's the mindset we're up against in trying to save that building.

Meanwhile, LaVoi said he's now scouting locations in New York for a sequel. He hopes to shoot "Barbie Loves N.Y." later this year.

Admit It, Sen. Brownback -- You're Really Working for Viacom...

The self-proclaimed "King of All Media" had something to crow about this weekend -- and Howard Stern ought to send a cookie basket to Congress and the FCC as thanks.

Thanks to the renewed controversy regarding content on Stern’s morning show, the shock jock has posted huge ratings gains in New York, Los Angeles and Chicago.

According to Arbitron, which on Friday released winter 2004 ratings in those three markets, Stern is back on top with listeners 12+ in New York, where he pulled a 7.2 share (up 22% from 5.9 in the fall).

And here in Los Angeles, Stern pulled a surprise by scoring the #1 slot among listeners 25-54, something his show hadn’t done in the market since 1995.

Overall, Stern’s show – which airs locally on KLSX-FM (97.1 "The FM Talk Station") – moved up to fourth place (from sixth) among listeners 12+, behind only KFI’s Bill Handel (who remained in first), and KROQ’s Kevin & Bean and KPWR’s Big Boy (who tied for second).

It's pretty obvious much of the ratings gains come thanks to the return of Stern as a controversial figure. Let's face it, Howard had begun to seem pretty tame in recent years -- especially after the late 90s release of "Private Parts," which humanized him in much the same way "The Apprentice" has given Donald Trump an image makeover.

By the beginning of 2004, Stern's sex talk wasn't all that unique -- the girls on "Sex and the City," after all, could be just as dirty. And if you really want to hear it discussed in excrutiating detail, just tune in to the Oxygen network's "Sunday Night Sex Show with Sue Johannsen."

But then came 2/1 -- the day that changed everything.

Yup, the Janet Jackson boob flash is still making an impact on popular culture. In the wake of 2/1, radio congloms like Clear Channel and Infinity vowed to clean up their act.

Stern suddenly found himself under fire from both the FCC and politicos like Sen. Sam Brownback (R-Kan.). Facing fines for alleged indecency, Clear Channel dropped Stern from the six markets where it was airing the jock.

Stern has been able to capitalize on the controversy, going as far as to warn listeners that Infinity Broadcasting may fire him if Washington’s content crusade continues. His website has also gone political, featuring a quote from former Supreme Court Justice William Brennan at the top of the page.

"A few vocal prudes want to paint Howard Stern as not ‘mass appeal,’ when the King of All Media is No. 1 with adults in Los Angeles, New York and Chicago," KLSX program director Jack Silver told Don Barrett at LARadio.com.

***
Meanwhile, in other Arbitron news, Emmis’ hip-hop oriented KPWR remained tops in Los Angeles this winter.

Talk outlets suffered the biggest declines this book in L.A.; KFI-AM dropped from a 4.7 share to a 3.9 share, while KABC-AM also saw drops. Radio observers said the drops were inevitable, given the huge news cycle last fall (recall election, wildfires, several high-profile legal cases). KLSX, which airs more entertainment-oriented  talk, didn’t see the same declines.

A big shift is also afoot in the Spanish-lingo arena, where longtime ratings leader KSCA-FM continues to see declines. Univision-owned KSCA recently parted ways with Renan Almendarez Coello, the top-rated jock also known as "El Cucuy."

Coello recently moved to SBS’ KLAX-FM, which is expected to see a huge bump next book thanks to the DJ, who was No. 1 in L.A. morning drive for six years at KSCA.

Material Boy

Alex Madonna, founder of the Central California landmark hotel the Madonna Inn, died Thursday, according to the L.A. Times.

If you've ever driven north on the 101, you've encountered the Madonna. And if you've ever gone inside, well, it's like no other hotel. Writes the Times:

In Alex Madonna's world, nothing succeeded quite like excess. His motto was "go whole hog," and he did just that in designing one of the world's most eccentric hotels, with its Pepto-Bismol-pink color scheme and jaw-dropping waterfall urinal in the men's room that drew tittering tourists with cameras.

A barrel-chested man with a sharp tongue for any bureaucrat who dared cross him, Madonna and his inn were iconic symbols of California's Central Coast for visitors from around the world, many of whom flooded the inn's website Thursday with condolences. His "tremendous personality" will "live on in my mind," wrote one admirer. Calls were coming in from as far away as Florida.

And the gaudy Madonna Inn, described as "Swiss country with a gingerbread fairy motif," with its oddball suites ? the Caveman Room where one could sleep under a rock ceiling and shower in a waterfall; the 33-foot-long sofa in the Pick and Shovel Room ? was itself nothing less than a monument to Madonna's outsized persona: a bit coarse, mocking of convention.

Madonna was 85.

Earthquake Insurance

... for the house. Yes? No? Discuss.

The premium seems awfully high for such limited coverage. At a 15% deductible, you pretty much have to lose the entire house before the insurance kicks in.

Of course, I suppose that's what exactly happened to several people after Northridge. And with UCLA geophysicist Vladimir Keilis-Borok predicting a big 6.4-richter quake in Southern California by Sept. 5, perhaps I should just quit my bitchin' and pay the premium.

(As for a house update, we're still in that murky sea known as escrow... hopefully we'll know better by next week whether we've secured a loan.)

'Suge' Knight Status Check

Check One:

Suge Knight is currently:

[_] IN [X] OUT

of jail.

(According to the L.A. Times, the Death Row Records founder has been released from Mule Creek State Prison after serving 10 months for violating parole.)

Checking Out the Book Festival

The L.A. Times Festival of Books has sneaked up on me -- and is taking place this weekend.

At the festival, we always look forward to checking out Angel City Press' booth, gawking at the long line at the Science Fiction booth, finding which star chef is at the cooking stage... and getting disturbed by that purple mess Barney at Target's reading stage.

Oh yeah, and somehow, we never fail to leave Westwood without a visit to Diddy Riese.

When Real Life Outpaces Parody

Ben Fritz and company have been doing some really clever, funny stuff over at Dateline Hollywood.

If you haven't checked out the site, it takes a very Onion-esque approach to Hollywood, using the same kind of dry newspaper-speak to point out the absurdities of the entertainment biz.

Of course, the best kind of parody is so subtle it's almost believable. And in the case of one story in this week's "Dateline Hollywood," it turns out the joke is true.

Tweaking VH1 for its "I Love the 70s" and "I Love the 80s" brand of pop culture nostalgia overindulgence, "Dateline Hollywood" crafts this story:

VH1 TO AIR ‘I LOVE 2004’ SERIES AFTER BURNING THROUGH ‘70s, ‘80s, ‘90s
Celebrities to comment on nostalgic pop-cultural touchstones that happened last week

HOLLYWOOD –VH1 is cranking up the next installment of its "I Love the..." franchise, focusing on the last few weeks of April 2004 after the network ran out of decades to profile in its popular series. VH1 executives decided to premiere the “I Love 2004” series to keep up with viewer demand. The program will use the established format of featuring pop-cultural touchstones from the last few weeks with comments from comics, actors and celebrities.

I don't know what this says about our culture, but... VH1, believe it or not, already is doing this show! It's called "Best Week Ever," and it essentially takes the "I Love the 80s" format and applies it to the pop culture of the last week.

Not sure what that says about real life... other than it's become just as absurd as parody.

Writes Ben: "I guess this makes me qualified to apply to be entertainment president at VH1."

Rate-A-Target

Location: Santa Monica and La Brea, West Hollywood

They stipulated: Parking is $1, unless you've either purchased something, or received a validation stamp

What we bought: Peanut Butter M&Ms

High point: Indeed, it's a clean, hipster Target... and there's a Ben & Jerry's store downstairs.

Low point: But let's face it, the West Hollywood Gateway development is a monstrosity. Parking is difficult and crowded -- and it will only get worse once the Best Buy located downstairs opens.

Overall impression: I hope they solve the parking issue, because like I said, it may soon turn into a nightmare, once the shopping center is fully opened. Also, this feels like a smaller location than the Pasadena, Eagle Rock and Burbank Empire Center locations we're more familiar with.

And again, I'm not a fan of the West Hollywood Gateway. What a mess of a mall. And I still haven't forgiven the developers for completely destroying the vibe at the Formosa Cafe, and even Jones across the street. At least it is a nice Target, and perfect for people watching: Particularly the Ozzy look-alike we saw shopping for toilet paper. Hey, goth metal dudes gotta buy the basics too!

Chance we will go back: It's on the commute home, so quick stops at the Target may become a nighttime staple. Still, the parking situation makes darting in and out of the location impossible, so that's still an open question.

Not As Easy as A-B-C

Busy day yesterday, as Disney blew up its ABC executive structure and reshuffled the deck.

Eisner, Iger and company brought in Disney cable exec Anne Sweeney to also oversee ABC as president, Disney-ABC Television (essentially replacing Alex Wallau and Lloyd Braun); while Touchstone TV topper Steve McPherson is now president of ABC Entertainment (taking over for Susan Lyne, who in a shocker is leaving the company).

Some sort of mass switcheroo had been rumored for months at the network, which remains stuck in fourth place and has failed to come up with a megahit in recent years. The timing is tough: We're just a few weeks away from the network upfront presentations in New York, when the broadcast nets unveil their fall wares to advertisers.

Joe and I cover the news in today's Variety here, and we profile Sweeney, McPherson and new Touchstone TV topper Mark Pedowitz here.

Funnies Get Serious

While Garfield still bemoans Mondays, Dennis the Menace keeps bugging Mr. Wilson and even Beetle Bailey continues to avoid any actual combat, some serious stuff is going on elsewhere on the funny pages.

Specifically, this week, the battles in Iraq are hitting home in two comic strips. In Doonesbury, it appears that football coach and Army reservist B.D. has been wounded:

Of course, issues of war -- and even life and death -- are nothing new for "Doonesbury" readers. But it is an unusual storyline for Get Fuzzy, which normally takes a more lighthearted look at lead character Rob Wilco, his sarcastic cat Bucky and naive pooch Satchel. This week, Rob gets an unfortunate call:

I'm very interested to see how both storylines play out this week, and gotta give them both credit for tackling such a tough subject.

That's Not a Chocolate Chip!

Mrs. Beasley's cookie baskets are a common site in Hollywood... but ya might wanna double check the next time you bite into one of those treats.

The Mrs. Beasley's location at the 7th+Fig mall downtown was briefly closed last month due to "vermin infestation," according to the L.A. Times listing of the county health department's March restaurant closures.

Other shutdowns included one of my favorites, the Kings Hawaiian Bakery/Restaurant in Torrance. Luckily, the shutdown was caused just by "unsafe food temperatures," and not by something more disgusting.

Also, for you mid-Wilshire readers, the Trimana Grill at Wilshire and Crescent Heights was closed for not having any potable or hot water.

The Other Atkins

You're an out of work actor, best known for a handful of cheesy 80s movies. You haven't really worked in a few years. You happen to share the same surname as the doctor behind the most popular diet in America. Do you cash in?

If you're Christopher Atkins, hell yeah, apparently you do.

The "Blue Lagoon" star is hawking, you guessed it, a low-carb regimen. (Revolving around low-carb chocolate chip cookies, that is.) No word on whether his low-carb diet also includes winding up stranded on a deserted island with just a perm, loincloth and nubile model-turned-actress.

The ad above appeared on the back of the Sunday Comics in the L.A. Times: Many people on a low-carb diet find it hard to stay on because you don't get to eat good tasting treats. That's why Christopher Atkins teamed up with PatentHEALTH, a cutting-edge consumer products leader, to create the perfect cookie.

How can Atkins, now at the age of 42, look as good today as he did when he was a teenager? "I know what to eat," Atkins said.

I don't know what's more sad: Christopher Atkins pushing a generic line of cookies on the back of the comics page... or that there are, I'm sure, probably more than a few readers who saw that ad and became convinced that the "Pirate Movie" star was that Dr. Atkins diet guy they'd been hearing so much about.

We Lucid Dream... and Eat

At the invitation of LA.com's Laurie Pike (thanks, Laurie!), Maria and I made it to the online city guide's final "Champagne Catwalk" this past Saturday.

The four consecutive Saturday events celebrated up and coming local designers, featuring a short show during brunch at Silver Lake's El Cid restaurant. The designer we saw, We Are Lucid Dreaming, has just launched a clothing line available at Scout Los Angeles.

The show also gave us a chance to finally check out El Cid, which is designed to replicate a 16th century Spanish tavern. The restaurant, located on the site of Hollywood's first sound stage (built in 1900 by D.W. Griffith), offers flamenco shows on weekend evenings and a jazz brunch on Sundays.

For the champagne lunch, Maria ordered the Cajun Shrimp Omelette (with blackened shrimp cream cheese and Cantimplitos sauce) while I got the popular Chicken Sombreros (two sombrero crepes filled with sauteed strips of chicken breast, monterey jack cheddar cheese and Seville dressing; topped with sour cream and guacamole).

La Brea Tar Blitz

L.A. Times' Cecilia Rasmussen explores the history of the La Brea Tar Pits in this week's L.A. Then and Now column.

Yes, the La Brea Tar Pits are a real scientific find, not just a tourist trap. Rasmussen notes that "more than 3.5 million fossils have been extracted from the muck and ooze of the La Brea Tar Pits over the last century."

Rasmussen points out that "La Brea" means the tar, so the name is kind of redundant.

What she doesn't mention is that the La Brea tar isn't confined to that huge pool of muck in front of the Page Museum on Wilshire. Black goo continues to bubble up on sidewalks in the area, not to mention the parking lot across the street -- sometimes so much so that gravel must be sprinkled over the mess.

Even down the street, in the Variety/E!/Spelling TV complex, as I park my car every morning in the underground garage, I notice plenty of black tar oozing through the walls.

Where Have All The Pirates Gone?

Arrrrrr..... L.A. has a rich history of pirate radio (not including "100.3 Pirate Radio," the late-80s Scott Shannon-led commercial radio station that pretended to be a pirate). But as of late, local pirates have been awfully quiet, at least here in the Los Feliz/Silver Lake/Hollywood area.

All three frequencies popular with pirates -- 87.9 FM, 100.7 FM and 104.7 FM -- have been empty as of late. That's a contrast to just a few years ago, when "Pirate Cat Radio" blasted out on 87.9 FM, a techno/dance station out of Hollywood blared on 100.7, and "Kill Radio" inherited the legendary KBLT's pirate frequency, 104.7.

The late 90s heyday of KBLT is recounted in Sue Carpenter's recent book, 40 Watts From Nowhere.

Released in February, the book recounts how Carpenter enlisted some friends and created a scrappy pirate radio station that quickly became the talk of the east side. Big names like the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Beck and Danzig all made it to Carpenter's apartment, where she spent near $20,000 to outfit her makeshift radio station. Volunteers showed up throughout the day and night to host their own shows; even former Minuteman Mike Watt was a DJ.

But after playing a cat and mouse game with the FCC, and managing to outsmart the agency for three years, it all came crashing down in 1998. The FCC finally found her secret transmitter and antenna atop the Sunset-Vine Tower (yup, the one that's now a ghost tower, having been boarded up after a 2001 fire) and pulled the plug. (Here's an L.A. Weekly story from back then about KBLT; Paige Jarrett is actually Carpenter, using an assumed name.)

Carpenter, who lived a double life as wild radio pirate and mainstream freelance writer, tells an interesting story. (She's now a feature writer at the L.A. Times.)

Meanwhile, Pirate Cat Radio-- which broadcast for over a year from Hollywood -- is now living and broadcasting in San Francisco, according to the pirate's website. Pirate Cat has been arguing for some time that broadcasting without a license is now technically legal because of the ongoing war on terrorism. That's according to Pirate Cat's reading of U.S. Code of Federal Regulations title 47 section 73.3542,which says:

Authority is granted, on a temporary basis, in extraordinary circumstances requiring emergency operation to serve the public interest. such situations include: emergencies involving danger to life and property; a national emergency proclaimed by the President or the Congress of the USA and; the continuance of any war in which the United States is engaged, and where such action is necessary for the national defense or security or otherwise in furtherance of the war effort.

Hmm, don't quite know if that would hold up in court. But as of now, the FCC is busy pursuing, ahem, other matters (i.e., "indecency" in the wake of Janet Jackson's boob). That's probably good news for Pirate Cat and company.

More Ice Cream Passion

(Yeah, I know... way too many ice cream posts as of late. I'll tone it down next week. But for now, please indulge me as I continue my travels through Ben & Jerry's calvacade of new flavors...)

Oatmeal Cookie Chunk (Sweet Cream Cinnamon Ice Cream with Chunks of Oatmeal Cookies & Fudge)

Sez B&J: "To us, there's nothing more familiar or comforting than just-out-of-the-oven cookies. We created this flavor to celebrate the humble oatmeal cookie, & because we love chocolate, we threw in lots of fudge chunks in lieu of raisins."

Sez Mike: First off, thank you, Ben & Jerry's, for not throwing raisins in this flavor. That saves the day right there. Not that the day needed saving, because this is one of the better new flavors from the ice cream company. The chunks of oatmeal cookie are generous, and as I mentioned below, cinnamon ice cream is one of my favorites. The fudge chunks are actually unnecessary, and distract from the oatmeal and cinnamon flavors -- but that's something I can overlook. While I doubt I'll ever have a pint of our previous review, Dublin Mudslide, again, I look forward to my next pint of Oatmeal Cookie Chunk.

Over the Hill

Two local broadcasting landmarks could be decimated next year if CBS goes ahead and moves both KCBS/KCAL and CBS Entertainment to a new facility in Studio City.

According to a story from Joe in today's Variety, CBS is seriously considering moving Leslie Moonves and company from Television City -- where the net's programming operations have been headquartered since 1952 -- to a new building likely to be built at the CBS Studio City Radford lot facilities.

KCBS and KCAL were already expected to leave their Columbia Square digs on Sunset for the new building, leaving that longtime broadcast facility with an uncertain future.

The moves would mean all three nets' entertainment operations will now reside on the other side of the hill... and it would leave KTLA as the last TV station standing in Hollywood (where once upon a time just about every local station operated).

But it's the potential demise of Television City -- granted, a creaky facility in desperate need of an upgrade -- that would probably have most locals up in arms. Stay tuned.

Hung-A-Palooza

Yeah, I'm not sure I get the joke anymore either. But "American Idol" reject-turned-pop culture phenomenon William Hung, already on minute 16, has debuted at No. 34 on the Billboard Album Chart with his new quickly-thrown-together CD "Inspiration."

Number 34! I've seen several explanations for Hung's popularity -- some have argued that at the core, it's a mean-spirited poke at his ethnicity; others believe his double-entendre-sounding name is why the joke seems to be lasting this long.

For many, though, it probably comes out of the thrill of being a little subversive and supporting Hung's stardom, as almost a dig at the "American Idol" starmaking machine.

Speaking to MTV.com, Billboard magazine chart director Geoff Mayfield points out that he's simply the latest novelty act in a whole string of best-selling horrible singers throughout rock history -- including Tiny Tim.

MTV also makes note that the L.A. Dodgers have become huge fans:

One place the album will likely not disappear is in the Los Angeles Dodgers clubhouse. The team has a 4-0 record when it listens to Hung's CD while warming up; when the players tried different music before Sunday's game, the boys in blue lost 4-2.
" 'She Bangs' is classic," Shawn Green told reporters. "It's our victory song."

Perhaps you'll see more than a few Dodgers in attendance next Thursday, April 22, when Hung makes an appearance at the Bally's Total Fitness location in Hollywood. Hung will lead an aerobics session beginning at 6:30 p.m., performing songs including his rendition of Ricky Martin's "She Bangs."

And no, I'm not making this up.

Rate-A-Restaurant, #40 in a series

Restaurant: Fosselman's Ice Cream

Location:1824 W. Main St., Alhambra

Type of restaurant: Ice Cream Parlor

They stipulated: You gotta drive out to Alhambra -- and get there before 10 p.m.

What we ordered: Maria: One scoop of cappuccino ice cream ($1.95); Mike: two scoops, one of lychee ice cream and the other of cinnamon ice cream ($2.95)

High point: I love unusual flavors, and Fosselman's has them all. Sure, they have all the usual suspects, but the scoop shop also offers up taro, real mango, burgundy cherry and many more. The ice cream is all made on the premises, which gives it a real fresh taste. The flavors are spot on too -- the lychee was creamy and spot-on, and this was positively the best cinnamon ice cream I'd ever tasted.

Low point: Low point? With ice cream? You're joking, yes? Perhaps the only low point came afterward. The scoops are generous at Fosselman's, and if you're not careful you may overindulge. Two scoops, believe it or not, pushed the limits for me. (Of course, it was almost 10 p.m. on a work night.)

Overall impression: Maria has been itching to take me here from the moment Lent was over and I could once again partake in ice cream... and I gotta say, Fosselman's is another true treasure for Los Angeles. The family-owned operation has been in existence for 85 years, and continues to earn awards and raves for its product.

Chance we will go back: Absolutely. But, like all good things, in moderation.

For a complete archive of our Rate-A-Restaurant reviews, check out our companion ratearestaurant.blogspot.com website.

Mike the Media Whore is Back!

UPDATE: I know you were devastated when you didn't see my mug on "GMA" Thursday morning as planned. Alas, the morning show pushed the "Simpsons" segment to Friday. So as of now, it is scheduled to air Friday between 7 a.m. and 9 a.m. on ABC.

I'll be in a taped segment tomorrow on "Good Morning America," so check out your local ABC affiliate between 7 a.m. and 9 a.m.

Why, you might ask? The voice actors on "The Simpsons" continue to strike, and now the show is in danger of having to cut the number of episodes is produces for next season. "Good Morning America" threw me on camera and asked, Who's right in this scenario -- The voice actors, who rightly point out that Fox has made a mint on the show, and that their ask is just a drop in the bucket.. or Fox, who notes that the thesps are already handsomely paid for what amounts to the easiest job in television?

My wishy-washy response? They both have solid arguments. Which is why I'm convinced they'll still come to terms before long. They need each other -- for Fox, they can't afford to lose such a pivotal series. And for these actors... are they nuts? This truly is the best gig in TV -- and they sure don't want to lose it.

Rate-A-Restaurant, #39 in a series

Restaurant: East India Grill

Location: 345 N. La Brea, Los Angeles

Type of restaurant: Indian

They stipulated: $5 corkage fee if you BYOB; they really want you to order the $16.95 prix fixe dinner

What we ordered: EGGPLANT BHARTA - roasted eggplant sauteed w/ onions and spices ($6.95), GREEN COCONUT CURRY with chicken - a light curry flavored with coconut milk and cilantro ($9.95 for the dinner, which included rice, lentils and raita), NAAN ($1.95), SAMOSA - (2) pastry turnovers filled with spicy potato & green peas ($3.50)

High point: The Samosas were large and filled with potato and pea goodness, while the green coconut curry was also delicious. Portions were just the right size.

Low point: We ordered the food medium spicy, but we couldn't detect any spiciness at all. Surprisingly bland, particularly the bharta, which was less chunky and more pasty then we're used to.

Overall impression: I like the atmosphere, the service was good and the food wasn't bad. But in the realm of Indian restaurants we've tried in Los Angeles, unfortunately East India Grill falls to the bottom of the list. We're still firm believers in Electric Lotus.

Chance we will go back: Probably not anytime soon.

For a complete archive of our Rate-A-Restaurant reviews, check out our companion ratearestaurant.blogspot.com website.

Giving Up the Chase

Love 'em or hate 'em, local TV's car chase coverage won't be the same now that Rod Bernsen has departed KTTV "Fox 11."

Bernsen, who until recently reported from the station's "Sky Fox 11" helicopter, is probably best-known as the station's go-to guy for breaking police and fire news.

Bernsen had a 24-hour pager that sounded whenever Fox 11 went wall-to-wall with coverage of a car chase or bigtime fire. He'd then flip on the TV, call into the station and immediately go on the air from home, providing play-by-play analysis from the foot of his bed. As a former LAPD sergeant, he had a better idea than most of what was actually going on.

The reporter more recently had been reassigned to general-assignment reporting after back surgery forced him to give up the Sky Fox gig. That ultimately set the stage for his departure.

The Passion of the Ice Cream

Yes, Lent is over... and that means I can once again partake in beautiful, beautiful ice cream. As regular readers know, I gave up ice cream for Lent, which caused quite an crisis of faith when I discovered that McDonald's had re-introduced their Shamrock Shakes.

Yes, I did somehow justify to myself that shakes weren't ice cream, and I had one. OK, two. But I completely avoided ice cream throughout Lent -- still not an easy feat, particularly the day I discovered several new Ben & Jerry's flavors on sale at the Ralphs.

That streak was broken Easter morning. At 12:15 a.m. (Yeah, I didn't wait that long. And it was bliss.)

Now that I can have ice cream once again, I'm slowly testing all of the new Ben & Jerry's flavors. To help you, gentle reader, sift through the clutter and figure out which new entries are right for you, stay tuned. But first up:

Dublin Mudslide (Irish Cream Liqueur Ice Cream with Chocolate, Chocolate Cookies and a Coffee Fudge Swirl)

Sez B&J: "This one's for folks who fancy a bit more than a wee nip of blissful wickedness amidst rich swirls & sweeties. If you ask us, it's the most delectable Dublin entendre you can get!"

Sez Mike: The idea of Irish Cream and chocolate cookie pieces intrigued me, and the Dublin title and four-leaf clover on the packaging gave me the false impression that it would be minty (don't ask me why). Instead, the Irish Cream was barely noticable as an ice cream flavor, coming off pretty bland. The cookie pieces were the saving grace, but even those tasted pretty much like Oero-ripoff Hydrox pieces commonly found in store-brand Cookies & Cream flavors.

Come to think of it, Dublin Mudslide was pretty much Cookies & Cream with a slight twist. With so many flavors out there to try, I doubt I'll be partaking in this variety again anytime soon.

Next up: Oatmeal Cookie Chunk.

Home Not-So Free

As Maria and I continue our Escrow Experience (we'll find out later today whether the house can be appraised at the price we're buying it at), a reminder of just how f--ed up the Southern California housing market has become: According to the L.A. Times, home prices in L.A. County have reached another record high.

Median price in the county has been pushed 29% from last year to a record $375,000 this March -- the biggest year-to-year increase in at least 15 years. The huge jump continues to confound almost everyone -- but as the paper notes, people are willing to pay almost anything right now to get in before the interest rates go up.

Of course, we'd love to land a $375,000 house. But you'd have to travel to Reseda, Santa Clarita or Bellflower to find that pricerange. Out here in Los Feliz, Glendale, Burbank and Pasadena, even the crappiest homes go for over $450,000.

Unlike ten years ago, though, experts claim the market isn't on the verge of collapse. Their reasoning: The spectacular gains in Southern California have fueled concerns of a possible housing "bubble." But most analysts believe the real estate market is on much firmer footing compared with a decade ago, when sales and prices tumbled.

Sung Won Sohn, chief economist at Wells Fargo Bank, said the region's economy is stronger and there isn't the over-building of a decade ago. But for the long term, he said, if prices keep climbing as they have been, "it can basically stunt economic growth by discouraging people from moving in or expanding in Southern California."

Saturday Night at the Pleasure Chest

Maria's friend April threw a scavenger hunt Saturday night for her birthday, which we gladly joined in and formed a team with Tom and Louie. (Now, it was no Mike's Birthday Race, if I can be oh-so-not modest for a moment. But was still much fun.)

Five teams had an hour and fifteen minutes to find as many items as possible on the list. I'll put an asterisk by the ones we got:

1 POINT
*Picture of Ashton & Demi
*Flower for April from someone's garden
*Real Estate flyer
*Rate sheet for a hotel on Sunset
*Condom
*Menu from a tapas restaurant
*Menu from a sushi restaurant
*Chinese take-out menu
*Ad for liposuction
Videotape of a TV show that aired last week
*Picture of your group playing in a fountain
Picture of your group with a black cat
J. Crew catalog
Happy Meal toy
*Bottle of April's favorite beer
*Empty Slurpee cup
*Picture of someone not in your group drinking a Slurpee
*Copy of Playgirl magazine
*Shotglass from a Mexican restaurant
Foreign currency
X-Rated video
*Fed Ex box
*A brick
*Dry cleaning bag with hanger
*Receipt for a hot dog
*Lotto ticket
Toy from a vending machine
Wig

2 POINTS
Picture of your group with a stripper
Picture of guy in polka dot boxers
*Picture of a member of your group dancing at a gay bar
Cup of sugar from a neighbor (with picture)
Picture with twins

3 POINTS
Picture of a member of your team flashing someone
Hub cap
Picture of a member of your group in a Ferrari
*Picture of a member of your group trying on an outfit at the Pleasure Chest
*Traffic cone/Orange pylon

We kicked some butt with the one-point items, scoring quite a few at the La Cienega/Holloway 7-Eleven. Tom scored the brick from someone's front garden (sorry, anonymous victim) and we were especially proud of the fountain shot, which we got by storming into the Abbey club in West Hollywood (which also provided the "dancing at a gay bar" shot).

But where we fell down were the two- and three-point categories. No one flashed anyone, and Louie's attempt to convince a prostitute to pose as a stripper didn't pan out. (Tom, feeling rebellious, also scored the orange cone for us.) Sad to say, our team wound up fourth out of five groups. But we got to spend some quality time at the Pleasure Chest, and really, isn't that what a Scavenger Hunt is all about?

Best TV Moment Of 2004... So Far

Nope, not Janet Jackson's boob... or the "I Dated Fabio" revelation from "Average Joe 2." My vote goes to last Thursday's edition of Comedy Central's The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

The news parody's coverage of Condoleeza Rice's testimony in front of the 9/11 commission was nothing short of genius. From the writing to the show's correspondents to, of course, Jon Stewart, "The Daily Show" is on top of its game every night -- but this was better than average, even for them. Here's the best part, transcribed for you by Franklin Avenue:

JON STEWART: Throughout this entire process, the Bush Administration has been adamant that all the intelligence it received from its Presidential Daily Briefings, or PDBs, centered on Al Qaeda attacks outside of the United States.

(CLIP)

COMMISSIONER RICHARD BEN-VENISTE: Isn't it a fact, Dr. Rice, that the August 6 PDB warned against possible attacks in this country?
NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR DR. CONDOLEEZA RICE: It did not warn of attacks inside of the United States. It was historical information.

(END OF CLIP)

STEWART: So obviously there's a disagreement there. There's some ambiguity regarding the PDB, the President's Daily Briefing. I guess it could be interpreted many different ways.

(CLIP)

BEN-VENISTE: And I ask you whether you recall the title of that PDB.
RICE: I believe the title was, "Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside the United States."

(END OF CLIP)

STEWART: (STUNNED SILENCE)

STEWART: You're (bleeping) kidding me, right? PLEASE say, PLEASE SAY you're (bleeping) kidding me!

Well, they didn't know there were Al Qaeda cells in the States, did they?

(CLIP)

RICE: Dick Clarke had told me, I think in a memorandum, I remember it as being only a line or two, that there were Al Qaeda cells in the United States...

(END OF CLIP)

STEWART: (YELLING) Well how long should that sentence be?! "Al Qaeda cells are in the United States" -- It doesn't need to be that long of a sentence! A line or two does it!!

I'm sorry, I'll turn it back over to Eugene Levy. (Ben-Veniste has more than a passing resemblance to the "SCTV" and "American Pie" star.)

(CLIP)

BEN-VENISTE: Did you tell the President at any time prior to August 6 of the existence of Al Qaeda cells in the United States?
RICE: First, let me--
BEN-VENISTE: If you could just answer that question that would --
RICE: -- just make certain --
BEN-VENISTE: I only have a limited--
RICE: I understand, but it's important that I address --
BEN-VENISTE: Did you tell the President?
(FLASH)
BEN-VENISTE: My only question to you is --
RICE: I understand, Commissioner, but if you would --
BEN-VENISTE: -- told the president?
RICE: Give me a moment, I will address fully the questions that you asked --

(END OF CLIP)

STEWART: Commissioner Ben-Veniste, if you just let Dr. Rice answer, I'm sure she'll tell us exactly what she did with that unbelievably important piece of information.

(CLIP)

RICE: I really don't remember, Commissioner, whether I discussed this with the President.

(END OF CLIP)

STEWART: (MORE STUNNED SILENCE)

STEWART: To be fair -- and it is hard to be fair -- the Bush team would have had a better chance had the previous administration left them with some kind of plan.

(CLIP)

RICE: We were not presented with a plan -- We were presented with a series of actionable items...

(END OF CLIP)

STEWART: See, it was a series of actionable items, listed together on a piece of paper. That's not a plan!
In conclusion, Dr. Rice, does the buck stop anywhere near you?

(CLIP)

RICE: (SERIES OF EDITS) I didn't manage the domestic agencies, no national security advisor does... The FBI was pursuing it... We were in office 233 days... The responsibility for the FBI to do what it was asked to do was the FBI's responsibility... Inside arrangements for the FAA are not really in my... It's their responsibility... In the memorandum that Dick Clarke sent me on January 25th he mentions sleeper cells. There is no mention or recommendation of anything that needs to be done about them...

(END OF CLIP)

STEWART: (Bleeping) other people. They always let you down.

Lay of the Neighborhood

Cartoonist Carol Lay, whose weekly comic "Way Lay" appears in newspapers across the country and around the world, focuses on her Franklin Hills neighborhood in this week's strip.

This week's comic, subtitled "Things I Love About My Neighborhood," includes illustrations of and stories about the Shakespeare Bridge, a Dr. Seuss-esque tree on Finley St. and Walt Disney's old house on Lyric -- all a short walking distance from her place, and us too... After all, this here blog's world headquarters on Franklin.

Lay, whose frequently uses her life as inspiration for her comics, also notes how the "the next hill over used to be called 'Skunk Hill.'"

I can attest to that. Three out of the seven days of the week, the unmistakable stench of a skunk will permeate through the neighborhood. Notes Lay, "Now I call my neighborhood 'skunk hill adjacent."

All Shook Up

Seismologists and scientists are up in arms over NBC's upcoming May sweeps miniseries "10.5."

The longform depicts an epic earthquake that takes out most of California, causing a massive tidal wave to cover land all the way to Barstow. In the movie, scientists set off five atomic explosions to fuse the San Andreas fault, to no avail.

Sounds like trashy fun, like the equally horrid/cheesy L.A.-set disaster flicks "Earthquake" and "Volcano." ("Volcano" was recently on HBO, and I got sucked in -- it's fun to see the very street I work on covered in lava and volcanic ash. At the same time, I was reminded what a terrible, terrible movie it truely is.)

Scientists got a sneak peak at "10.5," and most of them laughed it off. But others pointed out the movie was so grossly inaccurate, they just couldn't enjoy it. For starters, a 10.5 magnitude earthquake could never happen here, they said.

Of course, the "10.5" producers plead guilty: They didn't exactly do their homework while drafting the movie:

Reports the L.A. Times: The executive producer of the miniseries, Howard Braunstein, acknowledges that the program plays loose with seismological facts.

Asked whether he had consulted scientists about the project, he responded: "Not really. We went on the Internet for backup research."

The city of Seattle is even more miffed. The movie's opening moments include an earthquake that topples the Space Needle. It's bugging enough people that the City of Seattle's Emergency Management website urges people to consult "credible scientific information" after watching "10.5."

SoCal Gets A Little More, Um, Cozy

The 405 seem extra crowded these days? Apparently an estimated 1 million new residents have moved to Southern California (or, as the local TV news media love to call it, the "Southland") in just the past three years.

That's according to U.S. Census Bureau estimates, the L.A. Times reports.

So where the hell are we gonna put everybody? (I vote downtown. Consider it the futon of Los Angeles.)

Reports the Times: The current trend is a reversal of one seen a decade ago, when the Bay Area was surging and Southern California was mired in recession after the collapse of the aerospace industry.

"This is a very different set of demographics and housing than you had exactly 10 years ago," said Stephen Levy, director of the Center for the Continuing Study of the California Economy in Palo Alto. "Ten years ago, the region lost 1 million people, housing prices plummeted, and building actually stopped between 1990 and 1994…. The Bay Area is showing the pattern now that L.A. showed in the early '90s."

In your FACE, Bay Area! Hah!

But, uh, you want some of that population back?

Extreme Publicity: Los Angeles Times Edition

Great notice for ABC's new series "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" in the L.A. Times California section today.

That's right -- California, not Calendar section. The paper takes a news approach to covering a family that recently benefited from the Sunday night TV show's format.

If you haven't seen the show, it's actually a pretty uplifting hour that takes the "Trading Spaces" concept and puts it on acid. Rather than renovate a room for $1,000 ("Trading Spaces'" m.o.), "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" sends a needy family away for a week's vacation and proceeds to completely redo their house, from top to bottom at a price tag in the hundreds of thousands of dollars.

The show will usually completely gut a house and reconstruct it in a week. All-new furnishings (flat-screen TVs, etc.) are added. This is not a cheap show.

By the end of the show, when the needy family comes home to their new digs, you'll be bawling. I was two weeks ago, when "EM:HE" overhauled the home of a woman who serves as the de facto mother for a tough Watts neighborhood.

But back to the L.A. Times story. Paper writes about this Sunday's episode, in which the show's designers and builders completely overhaul a house in Ventura to make life easier for 23-year-old quadriplegic Robert Gil.

Notes the story: Using donated materials, the TV crew installed a variety of high-tech gizmos that make Gil's life easier.

They also widened doorways, installed a wheelchair ramp and lowered the dining table for Gil's wheelchair.

But the biggest lift came from a Connecticut company. Concord Elevator donated, and installed, a $30,000 custom elevator to allow Gil to move around all three stories of his home for the first time in nearly three years.

The head of ABC's alternative ("reality") department told us last week we'll be choked up by the end of this week's show. Grab the tissue. ("Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" airs Sunday night at 8 p.m. on ABC.)

Kill Bill... and Your Television

There's a fine line between doing something so cheesy it's ironically cool... and doing something that's so cheesy, it's just, well, uncool.

Enter Quentin Tarantino, who will be the guest judge on next week's "American Idol." Quentin will join Simon, Randy and Paula for "Movie Night," as the show's eight remaining finalists sing songs from their favorite movies.

Has Tarantino's shark finally jumped? Or did his cred set sail long ago? Guess we'll find out next week.

State of the Union Station

LAVoice fills us in on the sudden move by Union Station owner Catellus Development to erect huge new buildings in front of the classy 1939 train station.

Notes the website: For several weeks now, the front parking areas of the station (obscured from Alameda by high hedges) showed the occasional glimpse of heavy equipment. Most people just assumed the parking lots were being repaved or perhaps that an underground garage was in the making.

So it came as quite a jolt to make my twice weekly pass-by the Station before jumping on the 101 onramp on Alameda to see that the south lot had sprouted a three-story (so far) matrix of steel girders! Goodbye, unobstructed view, approaching from the south.

The Downtown News published a story a couple days ago to the effect that the next shocker would be in the north lot, on the southeast corner of Alameda and Cesar Chavez.

A few hundred lucky yuppies with bucks to burn on trendy living spaces and a few more in a just as trendy office building (that's the best scuttlebutt so far) will have exclusive views of Union Station that used to belong to all of us.

Truly, truly horrifying. I'm all for downtown development, as regular readers of this site know. I'm truly excited to hear about the proposal to build a $125 million mixed-use development in place of the block-long parking lot at Fourth and Main streets in Downtown's Old Bank District. The two new buildings will combine retail space with apartments, hopefully moving the area one step closer to vibrancy.

But Union Station, where Maria and I got married, is a different story. It's one of L.A.'s true grand landmarks. To block that view is a travesty.

Sacreligious Mash

I've been a fan of the "mash-up," the common term for two wickedly different songs thrown together.

With the advent of computer music editing tools, just about everything can be mashed up these days. One of my favorites mixes Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" with Destiny Child's "Bootylicious." Believe it or not, it works.

Of course, the most famous mash-up in recent days comes courtesy the underground DJ Danger Mouse, who made headlines and earned raves for mixing elements of Jay-Z's "The Black Album" and The Beatles' "The White Album" to come up with his own creation, which he called -- what else? -- "The Grey Album."

Mash-ups have created quite a stir in the music world, where the debate rages over legality issues. EMI, for example, was less than pleased with "The Grey Album."

Last night on KCRW, I heard the song that may wind up souring me on mash-ups. Jason Bentley, on his "Metropolis" program, played a track that mixed... you ready? ... The Beatles' "Let It Be" with Shaggy's "It Wasn't Me" (you remember that song -- "Picture this we were both butt-naked, Bangin' on the bathroom floor").

I'll give you a moment to let it soak in: The Beatles. Shaggy. Together. Insert trite yet relevant "End of Western Civilization" comment here.

Wait, I Thought April Fool's Was Last Week

MTV's "TRL" awards its "Lifetime Achievement Award" (wait, there's a "TRL Lifetime Achievement Award"?!) to... "TRL" host Carson Daly:

MTV press release:

MTV TO HONOR CARSON DALY WITH LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD AS PART OF THE "TRL AWARDS" ON APRIL 13th AT 5:00PM (ET/PT)

Carson Daly to Receive Award in Conjunction with Special TRL "Choose or Lose" Scholarship

Santa Monica, CA - April 7, 2004 - MTV: Music Television announced today that Carson Daly will receive a Lifetime Achievement Award at the TRL Awards airing live Tuesday, April 13th at 5:00pm ET/PT. The Lifetime Achievement Award is a special tribute to Carson celebrating his contributions to MTV and to TRL; last years Lifetime Achievement Award recipient was P. Diddy. MTV's Choose or Lose Scholarship will also launch during the star-studded TRL Awards.

Carson Daly began his career on MTV in the summer of 1997, and has hosted many successful MTV shows and specials including the Millennium Celebration in Times Square, MTV's Spring Break, and TRL at the Super Bowl to name a few. He has also hosted and executive produced MTV's "Total Request Live." Adding to his accomplishments, Carson has interviewed an impressive list of celebrities such as Madonna, Tom Cruise, Britney Spears, and Adam Sandler.

"Carson Daly is synonymous with TRL...he was there with us from the very beginning, and helped us define and shape it into MTV's daily flagship show. TRL wouldn't have happened without him, so when the time came to decide who gets this year's Lifetime Achievement award, the decision was clear," said Tony DiSanto, SVP, MTV Production. "Carson's contributions to television, music, and youth culture are second to none...and yes, Carson does pay me to say these things."

Johnny B. On the Loose

Jonathan Brandmeier, last heard on talker KLSX 97.1 ("The FM Talk Station") is back on the air in Los Angeles starting April 19. Also known as "Johnny B," Brandmeier is taking over the morning drive slot (5:30 am - 10 am) on Infinity-owned KCBS 93.1 ("Arrow 93").

Brandmeier was a legend in his native Chicago, but has had less success breaking into the Los Angeles market. The radio jock also hosted a short-lived late night syndicated TV talk show in the early 90s. He replaces Joe Benson, who's been hosting a music-intensive show in the mornings on Arrow 93; Benson now moves to afternoons.

The hiring would seem to put to rest rumors that Arrow was about to flip to a top 40 format; KCBS' classic rock format appears to be safe for now. That's actually too bad; I was looking forward to seeing KIIS-FM finally get a mainstream competitor. With Rick Dees gone, KIIS's ratings are pretty vulnerable at the moment.

"Angel's" Plight

That's just a sampling of the letters, postcards and notes I've received at work over the past week from "Angel" fans. Really, really, pissed off "Angel" fans. Political campaigns aren't as organized as the push to save "Angel," which the WB has canceled after four years on the air.

The "Angel" fans have put up two sites devoted to their campaign, savingangel.com and savingangel.org. I must have ended up on these sites for a period of time, because the mail was relentless last week.

They came from all over the globe: Oklahoma, Ireland, Australia, Denmark, England... even several postcards from soldiers in Iraq. And they all want to save "Angel."

I suppose it would be too easy at this point to lament the fact that all of that energy could be better harnessed to feed the hungry or shelter the homeless. But hey, there's a TV show to be saved here! (And I've been busy waging my own "Renew 'Arrested Development'" campaign, cornering every Fox exec I can find.)

Besides the mail, these "Angel" fans have purchased ads in Variety, bought billboards around town, have started a blood drive campaign (there you go! Some positive harnessing!) and continue to barrage WB topper Jordan Levin with all sorts of gifts. But alas, I think this work will be in vain. "Angel" isn't coming back.

In the meantime, I've acquired a pretty decent postcard collection. E-Bay, anyone?

No-Mart

Inglewood voters Monday voted against a proposal that would have brought a Wal-Mart Supercenter into the community.

The monster store would have encompassed 17 football fields, and would have offered groceries in addition to the usual Wal-Mart fare.

Wal-Mart spent a great deal of energy trying to push the approval through. And they would have won, too, had they not assigned their campaign work to a group of 9-year-old Guatemalan children at ten cents an hour. Oh, Wal-Mart!

Didn't Any of the Playa Vista Developers See "Poltergeist"?

As if the Playa Vista development wasn't already controversial enough, now comes word that construction crews have discovered that the site rests above one of the largest Native American burial grounds in California.

Hmm. Add that to the 20-year battle versus environmentalists and other groups. At what point do you say, perhaps this just isn't meant to be? (I know: How about when you find out you're building on top of an ancient Native American burial ground!!)

Issues of protecting sacred land aside, I think we've all seen enough horror flicks to figure out that this isn't going to end well.

Rate-A-Restaurant, #38 in a series

Restaurant: Extraordinary Desserts

Location: 2929 Fifth Ave., San Diego

Type of restaurant: Desserts

They stipulated: You have a sweet tooth, and you're willing to momentarily forget about that diet of yours

What we ordered: Citronesse slice ($6.95), two Lion Coffee vanilla macadamia ($2.50 each)

High point: Mmm, dessert! I could live here. Desserts like White Chocolate Linzer Torte, the Passion Fruit Ricotta Torte, Triple Chocolate Mousse and the Truffe Framboise were enticing... but Maria and I were in a lemony mood, and the the Citronesse more than delivered. Also, Lion Coffee, straight from Honolulu, hit the spot.

Low point: It's in San Diego. Can't get down there too often. (And the coffee may be a little too much on the high side.)

Overall impression: Pat and Susan introduced us to Extraordinary, and it didn't disappoint. Pastry chef Karen Krasne avoids obvious desserts and dives in with some pretty amazing stuff. The place as a whole is simple and nice, an excellent evening spot. And yes, I know, this is our second dessert Rate-A-Restaurant post in a row. What can I say, we love to eat!

Chance we will go back: If we find ourselves back in San Diego, how can we not go back?!

For a complete archive of our Rate-A-Restaurant reviews, check out our companion ratearestaurant.blogspot.com website.

Last Dance at Perino's

Maria soaks in the Perino's vibe at one of the legendary Hollywood haunt's booths




Perino's bar




Collage Dance Theatre performers in front of Perino's


Maria and I caught the closing performance Sunday night of the Collage Dance Theatre's "A Hunger Artist," which also doubled as the swan song for the soon-to-be demolished Perino's restaurant.

It was our second time at a Collage show; we'd attended the troupe's performance ("Sleeping with the Ambassador") at the endangered Ambassador Hotel last summer. Like then, our main goal is to check out classic Los Angeles locales before they're sadly demolished... and the Perino's visit had an even more urgent tone to it: The building will be torn down very soon in favor of apartments. Egad.

(Adding insult to injury, Carey + Kutay Development Group -- which is overseeing the Perino's demolition and construction of the future apartment complex -- continues to capitalize on the mystique and lore of Perino's. Carey + Kutay was a sponsor of the Collage event, and owns the website perinos.net -- which touts the site's history and its importance in Hollywood culture, while in the same breath announces its destruction and auction of remaining assets.)

Collage artistic director Heidi Duckler conceived and created the dance program along with Merridawn Duckler. The contemporary dance troupe utilized Perino's ballroom, bar, dining room and kitchen to interpret Franz Kafka's "A Hunger Artist."

Like the Ambassador show, Collage also incorporated some acting and singing in the mix, particularly in the dining room, where the performers rotated from table to table -- some twisting and turning on chairs, others performing magic tricks and still others, in character, interacting with the crowd. It was all meant to tell Kafka's story of an artist who decides to fast and ultimately doesn't stop -- because he never found anything he wanted to eat.

The show had its moments -- and the athletic abilities of several dancers were nothing short of awe-inspiring. Think dance with acrobatics thrown in.

But ultimately, it was a much smaller event than the Ambassador show. Collage stuck to just four rooms -- whereas, at the Ambassador, the audience saw at least seven different performances in varied locations.

Obviously, Perino's is no match for the expanse of the Ambassador. But "A Hunger Artist" could have climbed upstairs, where a sitting room and powder area would have added one more canvas to the "Hunger Artist" pallette.

Nonetheless, the show had its moments -- we were particularly impressed by the athletic moves of Marissa Labog, while John Pleshette was enjoyable as the Perino's maitre'd. Overall, the cast was top-notch and the dancers amazing.

Unfortunately, it's too late to save Perino's. But it's not too late to save the Ambassador. We sat in a booth next to a member of the Los Angeles Conservancy, who urged us to write letters to the LAUSD school board urging them to save the old hotel. This next month or two is critical; go to the L.A. Conservancy website for more info.

Check out pics from our night at Perino's starting here.

Das Haus

Sorry we've been a little quiet here, but we've been kinda busy... buying a house! It's a nice little place in a charming part of Glendale (yes, there's actually a "charming part of Glendale")!

Talk about a stressful experience. We just began escrow, and we're currently trying to figure out the whole lending process. Points? ARMs? Fixed rates? You might as well be speaking Latin. But we'll figure it out... and any advice is welcome. Got a great loan officer? Think we oughta stick with a 7-year ARM rather than a 30-year fixed? Comment below.

Meanwhile, gotta run... our home inspector is heading over there soon, and we gotta make sure we're not buying a lemon of a house. Full update soon!

April Fool's, Part 2

Best joke on the web goes to TeeVee.org, which manages to tweak TV culture and parody Salon.com in one fell swoop.

TeeVee.org made waves last year with its excellent parody of ABC's website, and doesn't disappoint again this April Fool's Day. Stories include "Brilliant Careers: Richard Moll" and "How George W. Bush Ruined Television."

Juice New-so you won't weigh a-Ton

Wow, that was a stretch of a headline, I know.

Excited to see Jamba Juice has finally introduced low-cal smoothies. I used to frequently gulp the stuff -- until one day I checked out the nutrition facts while waiting for a "Mango-a-Go-Go." Yikes. The average Jamba Juice boasted at least 500 calories, some even more.

Jamba's now come up with what it calls "Enlightened Smoothies," made partly with Splenda-brand sweetener. These average... 310 calories. OK, so you're not gonna get thin off of them. I haven't tried one yet; if anyone has, please report back here.

April Fool's

Ahh, nothing says April Fool's like a cheesy radio stunt. Back when I ran WNUR in college (yeah, I know, another college radio story -- Mike, it's been almost ten years! Move on!), we freaked our listeners out on April Fool's by yanking our regular programming (you know, the usual college fare-- indie rock bands that you've never heard of) and pretended to flip the station's format to mainstream alternative.

We called ourselves "Q89.3" -- a dig at Chicago's big time commercial alternative station, Q101 -- and played nothing but Pearl Jam for an hour (another dig at Q101, which was so obsessed with the band it actually had adopted as its slogan "This Is Not For You," the name of a Pearl Jam song).

A friend and fellow DJ, Maura, pretended to be the hyperactive British DJ -- a staple of alternative stations back then -- while I played the clueless DJ who thought everything was ooh, soooo alternative while rattling off obvious trivia ("Did you know that Kurt Cobain was the lead singer of Nirvana?!").

Some listeners called in and freaked out, wondering what happpened. Others were wise to the parody and played along: "Hey, you know that Red Hot Chili Peppers song you just played? Could you play it again in about 40 minutes?"

It was a proud moment. Illinois Entertainer magazine called our prank the best of the year.

Back here in L.A., some of the most elaborate April Fool's hoaxes have been perpetrated by KROQ's Kevin & Bean. One year, the guys pretended to broadcast live from the opening of the "Mall of America West" -- giving vague directions to the site; hundreds of people still drove there, trying to find the fictional mall. Another year, the duo convincingly staged a fight between Kevin and Radiohead lead singer Thom Yorke -- it wasn't until later the duo revealed that Yorke was played by an actor.

This year, the Kevin & Bean gag took advantage of the current anti-indecency battle being waged in Washington. The duo laid the groundwork yesterday, grousing during their show about an "important meeting" called, they said, to discuss station management's displeasure with their show's content. Today, Kevin & Bean were mysteriously absent from air, replaced by nighttime jock Stryker.

Also, all mention of Kevin & Bean have been completely scrubbed off the KROQ website. For a split second, even I was snookered this morning. I began to think about how I'd cover Kevin & Bean's suspension for Variety -- until I remembered. It's April 1.