ORANGE CRUSH WINS MIKE AND MARIA'S HALLOWEEN HOUSEWARMING RACE!

The Orange Crush group celebrates their big victory!


Eleven teams... 17 clues... 16 locations... 7 to 8 hours... too many miles to remember...

Teams embarked Saturday on an all-day race around Los Angeles organized by us, Mike and Maria's Halloween Housewarming Race.



Inspired by Emmy winning series "The Amazing Race" and obscure early 80s movie "Midnight Madness," the Halloween Housewarming Race was a sequel to last year's Birthday Race (which, you'll remember, Los Angeles magazine wrote about in its November 2003 issue). This time, the challenges were tougher -- and the teams were more determined to win.

They searched for obscure sodas at Galco's Soda Pop Stop in Highland Park. Purchased a loaf of pumpkin bread from the Cloistered Dominican Nuns of Hollywood's Monastery of the Angels. Ran to -- and got kicked out of -- the 101 Cafe. Scoured the floor of Amoeba Records, looking for obscure CDs. Found the Holmby Hills putting green, and sank a few holes in one. Watched a homemade video at the Museum of TV and Radio. Searched for a green religious candle at Mariachi Plaza in Boyle Heights. Rode the reborn Red Cars in San Pedro. Took a pit stop at the harbor's Ports O' Call Village.

After a break to catch their breath, eat and mingle with others, teams then overlooked the cliffs of Angel's Gate Park while finding the Korean Bell. Raced up to downtown's Felix Chevrolet. Made political signs and flashed them at oncoming traffic at the Sunset/Hollywood intersection. Dove into the pool on the roof of the downtown Standard. Took the elevator to the top floor of the Bonaventure. Crammed down an entire Spam Musubi at the Grand Central Market. Threw back a shot at a bar in Chinatown. And ran to the finish line at Philippe's the Original french dip restaurant.

Teams start the race at our house


Whew! The race began at 10:30, and the first team crossed the finish line at 5:26. (Winning team Orange Crush smoked the competish; last team finally arrived at 6:39.) Tired and sweaty, the teams celebrated ... and met surprise guests Chip and Kim McAllister, the winners of the most recent edition of CBS' "The Amazing Race."

Here's how the teams wound up, along with their arrival time at the finish line:
First Place: Orange Crush (Peter, Teresa, Matt, Christy, Eric, Yvette) 5:26 pm
Second Place: Hezekiah Walker and the 111th St. Gospel Singers (Tony, Becky, Jess, Jeff) 5:37 pm
Third Place: Team Anonymous (Shannon, Mark) 5:38 pm
Fourth Place: Team Northwestern: The Empire Strikes Back (Ann, Jason, Mark, Ally) 6:04 pm
Fifth Place: Pumpkin Pie (Louie, Tom, Karen, April) 6:13 pm
Sixth Place: The Not Models (Leslie, Paul, Dave, Rachel) 6:15 pm
Seventh Place: Team Doo (Hirsch, Lozano, Moore, Bromberg, Bromberg, Campana) 6:15 pm
Eighth Place: Three Blind Mice (April, Pauline, Jeremy) 6:28 pm
Ninth Place: Team Fury (Denise, Geoff, Alan, Rebecca, Betsy) 6:33 pm
Tenth Place: Charlie's Angels (Dave, Susanne, Margo, Melissa) time n/a -- skipped a stop
Eleventh Place: Invalids (Pang-ni, Ian) dropped out after the pit stop

Here's how the clues broke down:

CLUE #1-Handed out at our Glendale home
Glug, glug, glug. It’s gonna be a long day, and you’re gonna get thirsty. Head to the Soda Pop Stop, and grab bottles of Plantation Style Mint Julep, chocolate soda and Bubble Up. After checking out, you’ll be handed your next clue. Belch! [Teams had to find Galco's Soda Pop Stop in Highland Park, where owner John Nise was waiting with their next clues -- after they found those obscure sodas.]

CLUE #2-Handed out by Soda Pop Stop
How about something to go along with that soda… Purchase a loaf of pumpkin bread from the nuns at the Monastery of the Angels, then head to the 101 Coffee Shop, where our Clue Captain awaits. [Teams found the monastery, nestled in Hollywood, then raced to the 101 Coffee Shop... where clue captain Claire was eventually thrown out for disturbing the peace!]


CLUE #3-Handed out by Claire at the 101 Coffee Shop
Get your groove on. Drive on over to Amoeba Records and find our clue captains, Jason and Sherry (along with Jordan, our Littlest Clue Captain), who’ll hand you your next clue.

CLUE #4-Handed out by Jason and Sherry at Amoeba
ROADBLOCK
Pick one teammate to scour the floor of Amoeba, bringing back ONE of the following CDs:
James Otto, "Days of Our Lives"
Willie K, "The Uncle in Me"
Zuco 103, "Outro Lado"
Charles Webster, "Remixed on the 24th of July"
Velocity Girl, "Simpatico!"
Slicker, "We All Have a Plan"
Dave Pike, "Peligroso"
"Out of Order: Soundtrack to the Surfers’ Documentary"
Charles Joechlin, "The Jungle Book"
Subdudes, "Primitive Streak"
Faith and the Muse, "Burning Season"
Benny Benassi, "Hypnotica"
Gregory Isaacs, "Cool Ruler"
Franco Corelli, "The Unknown Recordings"
Truth Hurts, "Ready Now"
Here’s the catch: Once a team brings Jason and Sherry a CD, no one else can pick that particular title… but you won’t know which CDs have already been turned in until you bring it to them!
Once you turn in a CD that no one else has used, Jason and Sherry will give you your next clue.

CLUE#5-Handed out by Jason and Sherry at Amoeba
Aaron Spelling saved a bundle on his greenery, with this just steps from his front yard. It’s here that Aaron, Hugh and other Holmby area residents can practice sinking them like a world’s famous cat. Find our clue captains, Susanna and Todd, who will take you from there. [Teams had to figure out that they needed to get to the Holmby Hills putting green. Once there, they had to sink putts in two out of three holes. Teams later said this was the hardest of all the challenges -- although a few golfers on the teams had an easier time.]

CLUE #6-Handed out by Todd and Susanna at Holmby Hills putting green
It’s showtime! Race over to the Museum of TV & Radio, one of the coolest museums in all of L.A. (Why? Because it’s all about TV!) Find the box marked by our Race flag, where you’ll pick up your next clue.

CLUE #7- Found inside a box at the Museum of TV & Radio's downstairs lobby
Tell the fine Museum of TV & Radio employees that you’re here to screen some TV – including that classic episode of "The Mike & Maria Halloween Housewarming Race’s Next Clue."

CLUE#8-On the video
[Maria shot a video of me at Mariachi Plaza, which we gave to the fine folks at the TV museum. They installed it in their system, so teams arriving to watch TV in the museum's cubicles saw our clip! On the video, I give a brief history of the Boyle Heights area and tell them to race down to Mariachi Plaza -- where they must find a green religious candle. Once they do, race over to the Mariachi Plaza gazebo, where clue captains Anthony and Candice will hand out the next clue -- but only if they have the correct candle.]

CLUE#9-Handed out by Anthony and Candice at Mariachi Plaza
raceclue.blogspot.com [Teams had to figure out a way to read the website -- which provided a link to their next destination, the revived Red Car service in San Pedro. Most teams called up friends or family to check online. One team had brought along a computer with wi-fi capability.]

CLUE#10-Handed out by Maria at the first Red Car stop in San Pedro
You've reached the half-way point! Climb aboard the Red Car and ride to the Ports o’ Call Station. Once there, race on over to the Ports O’ Call Village for a richly deserved break. Find Mike, where he has set up the stop. You'll get a chance to rest, eat and mingle with other players. (A "mandatory pit stop," as they call it on "Amazing Race.") Last team to reach Mike may be eliminated.
IMPORTANT: Find Mike immediately to check in. Your time of arrival will determine the time you rejoin the race!

CLUE#11-Handed out by Mike and Maria (at first, and then by Pang-ni and Ian, who decided to leave the race but agreed to stay on as clue captains) at Ports O' Call
The heart and Seoul of San Pedro is this bell, a gift to Los Angeles to celebrate the 1976 bicentennial. Find Clue Captains Anthony and Candice at the bell, and they’ll hand you your next clue. [Teams had to find the Korean Bell in Angel's Gate Park]

CLUE #12-Handed out by Anthony and Candice at Korean Bell
Find this wonderful, wonderful cat. (Perhaps he’s driving a Malibu… or an Impala.) The receptionist should have your next clue. [Teams had to figure out we were referring to Felix Chevrolet.]

CLUE#13-Handed out by receptionist at Felix Chevrolet
DETOUR
‘Tis the season… for campaigning. Either (a) find yourself a sign from a real political campaign or (b) make one. Then head to the intersection of Hollywood and Sunset, where Clue Captain Melissa will be waiting. Start flashing your sign – once you get two honks out of passersby, you’ll receive your next clue.

CLUE#14-Handed out by Melissa at Sunset/Hollywood
ROADBLOCK
Splish, splash! For your second roadblock of the game, pick someone who… um, doesn’t mind getting wet. Find clue captain Kathy at the roof of the downtown Standard. [One member from each team had to jump into the Standard's pool -- and swim to the other side, grab a clue, and swim back.]

CLUE#15-Handed out by Kathy at Standard pool
Time for an homage to "Midnight Madness," the other inspiration for this race. That movie’s action wound up at downtown’s Bonaventure Hotel. Take the elevator up to the BonaVista lounge and grab a matchbook/napkin/whatever with its name on it… then head to Grand Central Market, where Clue Captains Damon and Rita will be waiting… with a special treat. [As the "special treat," one member from each team had to consume an entire Spam Musubi -- a delicacy in Hawaii, but daunting to first-timers. It's a huge slice of spam atop a mound of rice, wrapped in seaweed.]

CLUE#16-Handed out by Rita and Damon at the Grand Central
You’re in the homestretch! Get down to the Grand Star Bar. One brave team member must order the Mike & Maria shot. (Hell, all of you – sans DD, of course – can down one. What the hell. It’s a party after all.) [A "Mike and Maria shot" turned out to be a simple, pure shot of vodka. Some teams all drank, but most teams picked one member to down a shot.]

CLUE #17-From Grand Star Bar bartender
You did it! Get your asses down to Philippe’s the Original. First team to make it to the finish line wins the Mike and Maria Halloween Housewarming Race!

As the first team through, the dynamos of ORANGE CRUSH won gift cards to Borders Books & Music and Sephora, as well as CDs and DVDs from Rhino. Second place HEZEKIAH WALKER AND THE 111TH ST. GOSPEL SINGERS, who ran around all day in gaudy powder blue choir robes, were given "Amazing Race" t-shirts and hats.

SPECIAL THANKS to our Clue Captains: Claire, Jason and Sherry (with Jordan), Anthony and Candice (who did double duty!), Melissa and Jen, Pang-ni and Ian, Kathy, and Rita and Damon. Also to the clue stops that helped out. And a SUPER BIG THANKS to CBS' Lauri Metrose, who convinced Chip and Kim to come out and celebrate with the teams! (It goes without saying that Chip and Kim were awesome for coming out -- check out their website at www.chipandkim.tv.

And a shout-out to Chip and Kim, who took time out of their busy schedule to meet a group of rabid "Amazing Race" fans. They were genuine and down-to earth. (That's us above with Chip and Kim.)


Photos to come soon on the Mike and Maria's Halloween Housewarming Race companion website.

UPDATE: Read Team Anonymous member Shannon's account of the day -- along with some photos -- at her blog, We Live in LA!

It All Happens Tomorrow!

Modesty, Thy Name Isn't Schwarzenegger

Speaking this Sunday on "60 Minutes," our Governator gives himself high marks so far: "Ten being the highest, I would give myself an eight," says Schwarzenegger. "I think I fell short on some of the things. Probably the communication with the legislators."

More, from the "60 Minutes" press release: Arnold admits that yes, indeed, he'd like to, oh, you know, alter the Constitution just a tad:

The Austrian-born governor of California tells Morley Safer that he is in favor of an amendment to change the law so he would be able to run for president.

"Yes, absolutely [I would like to be eligible to run for president]," Schwarzenegger tells Safer. "Why not? With my way of thinking, you always shoot for the top," he says.

Schwarzenegger favors an amendment that would make him eligible, but says he's too busy doing the job he promised to do for California voters to think about becoming president now. "There are so many things I have to do in California and my promise was to straighten out the mess in California," he tells Safer.

Press Releases -R- Us

Latest batch to come across my desk... nope, we don't make these up. Wish we did, but I'm afraid these are actual releases. (Shout out to Ann for passing along the San Diego aquarium manufacturer's attempt at cashing in on the "Shark's Tale" movie.)

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Contact:
Jonathan Abramson
Marketing and Public Relations Manager
West Coast Aquarium Industries
(858) 571-XXXX
October 27 , 2004

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE!

“Shark Tale” Movie Brings In Waves of Sales For San Diego Aquarium Manufacturer!!!!

San Diego, California - West Coast Aquarium Industries, The leader in Custom aquariums officially gives the Shark Tale movie two fins way up!!! The Business has recently seen a surge of sales the last few weeks. The rise of sales can be attributed to Hollywood and the very popular fall blockbuster of Shark Tale.

“The correlation is evident and astounding”, says West Coast Aquarium CEO & President Louie Ortiz. We saw the same stream of sales when Finding Nemo came out about a year ago. Hollywood plays a bigger role than most people think on consumer spending. Marketing and merchandising is a major factor in the consumer cycle”.

Many of the fish that are in the movie can be acquired at West Coast Aquarium Industries including the ever so popular puffer fish and even the bamboo shark!

According to American Pet Products Manufacturers Association Inc. (APPMA) estimates, total pet industry expenditures were $29.5 billion in 2002 and are expected to grow to $31 billion in 2003. Nearly 13 million households in the United States have aquariums for ornamental fish, which rank behind only dogs and cats as the most popular pet.

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Summer and Seth are Voted America's Favorite Coupling of FOX's Hit Show, "The OC"

Nationwide Survey on love.com® Service Reveals Viewers Want Ryan to Choose Marissa Over Theresa, Think Tahiti-Bound Seth Should Try to Make it Work with Summer

DULLES, VA October 28, 2004 With the season premiere of "The OC" just one week away, America has selected their favorite couple on the show: Seth and Summer.

That's according to a recent online poll of more than 11,000 fans of the popular show on the love.com® online personals service. Clearly intrigued by this season's hot couplings, love.com users many of whom are experts at evaluating personalities and profiles feel that Summer and Seth are best suited for each other, with 46 percent of respondents selecting this pair as their favorite twosome in Newport.

Marissa and Ryan came in second with 37 percent of the votes, despite being on a break when the first season ended on May 5th. According to the love.com poll, Seth and Anna (12 percent) came in third, while Luke and Julie (a.k.a. Marissa's mom) were a distant fourth with three percent of the votes. Just two percent voted Ryan and Theresa as their favorite item on the show.

While the fate of Marissa and Ryan hangs in the balance, 88 percent want this popular couple to be together in the end. Just 12 percent want Ryan to be with Theresa, even though they drove off to Chino in the season finale (presumably to parent Theresa's baby-to-be). With the start of the new season of "The OC" on November 4th, we'll see if love.com® users get their wish.

As for Seth and Summer, despite Seth setting sail for Tahiti in the last few moments of the season ender, 85 percent of love.com users want Summer and Seth to move through the drama in their lives and remain a solid couple this season.

If You Click On Just One Link Today, Click This One

Funniest thing I've seen in a long time, from The Stranger and writers Dan Savage and David Schmader: 2004's Scariest Costumes.

Picks include "Florida's Electronic Touch-Screen Voting Machines," "Western Hostage in Iraq," "The Littlest Prisoner at Abu Ghraib," ""Shoe Bomber" Richard Reid" and "Jenna Bush's Liver."

Go there! Now!

Local TV Follies

Good stuff this week on Ron Fineman's website about the local media.

For starters, KCBS/2 morning traffic "reporter" Vera Jimenez got into a little trouble last week after her ad-lib about Dick Cheney didn't go the way she probably planned:

When talking about members in Washington getting flu vaccine and Cheney was one of those, Jimenez stated that Cheney had "one foot in the grave" as it was.

Oops. According to a Fineman tipster, word of Jimenez's gaffe made it all the way to Washington... and she was asked to apologize (which she did) the next day.

Meanwhile, that same day, KCBS had to contend with another on-air embarrassing moment, another Fineman tipster reports:

The 11am KCBS news producer placed that story right before weather, and the anchors and weather anchor Henry DiCarlo had some discussion about it. That's why stories that can generate conversation, usually light or "fun" conversation, come right before weather. Well, as DiCarlo crossed from the anchor desk to the weather
wall and came into frame, he pretended to stumble and fall just like Castro had just done! It was very funny! Everyone laughed loudly and had lots of fun with it. Then when DiCarlo returned to the anchor desk, I'm told news anchor Suzanne Rico held a card above her head in Olympic-judging fashion, scoring DiCarlo's Castro-esque fall a "perfect 10"!

Apparently, at least according to the website, that didn't go over well with station brass.

One last tidbit: Fineman confirms that, believe it or not, KABC/7 weathermen Johnny Mountain and Dallas Raines aren't making their names up. Those are their real, birth-given monikers. No lie.

VLife Goes Blogging

The folks over at VLife, Variety's glossy bimonthly focusing on life in Hollywood, has launched The Stylephile, a blog that promises "up-to-the-minute news on NYC and L.A. store openings, sample sales, trunk shows, new products, spas and anything that makes you want to shop."

Early posts include one on a Oct. 27 booksigning at Barneys for designer Tom Ford’s new book, and another on a Paul Smith trunk show sale at Neiman Marcus, also on Oct. 27.

Also on the blog: Sure, $100 Baby Paper jeans may sound irrational, but on the inside you’re thinking, “How cute would my kid be in those?!” La La Ling, Silver Lake’s most adorable baby boutique, is alleviating a bit of the guilt with a Halloween sale Oct. 29-31. Bring a tot in costume and get 10% off any purchase. Plus it’s a good chance to buy gifts for preggers friends.

Not that we're hinting or anything.

Two Years Later...

... and I'm still the luckiest guy ever.

Here Comes The Rain Again

Agggggh!! It's STORMWATCH 2004! Rain! Wet roads! Muddy sidewalks!

Yup, it's back. And given that this is L.A., it's the talk of the town today. "When's the storm coming?"

Our yard is still semi-muddy from last week's downpour. Part of the problem? Our flat roof drains all in one place, which made for a pretty soft, muddy patch next to our house. With the rain fast approaching, I made a quick trip to the Home Depot last night and created a makeshift rain gutter. Call me "MacGyver: Home Edition."

Tonight's and tomorrow's rains may push L.A. over the record this year as the wettest October ever. Reports the L.A. Times:

"It's definitely possible that parts of Southern California will have the wettest October in history," said Brandt Maxwell, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service in San Diego. "A lot of it has to do with how strong this storm ends up being, and at this point it looks very good."

Already gathering strength off the Oregon coast after originating in the Gulf of Alaska, the storm is expected to hit Southern California this afternoon, further dampening ground already saturated from last week's drubbing.

"It looks like it will bring lots of rain: 1 1/2 to 3 inches in most areas, and maybe even more in the mountains," Maxwell said.

Los Angeles should be dry by Thursday.

Who Wants To Name Our Baby? Week Seven

We took a week off last week... but no, we still haven't figured out the name of Little Schneider. So the name game continues!

First, a sampling of the latest comments:

i'm actually participating in your name our baby contest because apparently i have too much free time on my hands.

i'd lose alexander and matthew. both too simple and plain. both boring.

my favorite of your list so far is Evan. i think that has a nice ring to it. (and ryan of course, is always a good name)

as for new suggestions, how about nathan? Nathan Michael Schneider has a nice ring to it. that's all i got. boy names are so much harder than girl names!
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excellent! keep!
Alexander Michael Schneider
Jack Michael Schneider

A colleage and I were just talking about what a great name Jack is. Love Jack.

And two highly unlikely suggestions:

Ernest Michael Schneider
Warren Michael Schneider

3 friends of mine have had babies since July, all boys: Paul, Oliver, and Rex. Those are the kind of kids he'll be at kindergarten with. Or starting a rock band.
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voting off Ryan and Evan

suggesting Patrick and Gabriel.

I know I suggested Jacob last week -- and I still like it -- but I just found out it is the most popular boy's name for 3 years running. Yikes! I had no idea.
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Again, I vote against Evan. If you don't kick the name off your list, I'm going to have to come up with my own nickname for your kid. I also vote against Jack because it's too boring and monosyllabic.

New names:
Did you have James on there before? I like that. A boy I had a crush on for half my teen life was named James. How about Dean for a first name? Or Seth! I have a bad high school association w/that name, but then there's Seth/Adam Brody! Um, and, I once knew a super cute guy named Bryson.
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Vote off:
Alexander
Ryan


Vote on:
Jacob
Terrance
Kevin
Benjamin
Dexter
Hanley
Jonathon

Yeah, I know its more than 2 names but you guys seem like you need more inspiration.
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ok lose evan & ryan

enter:
Perry
Nico
Charlie
Damon
Terrence
Paul
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I know I'm late to the game, but howz about we get rid of Jack, because it is a little too four-years-ago-trendy and Alex reminds me of some chumpy know-it-all.

I'm getting the impression that you're looking for something on the 'normal' side - not Bacchus or Kerouac or Vishnu anything like that. So, what about some simple names that happen to sound lovely with Schneider? My suggestions:

Christian Michael Schneider
Donovan Michael Schneider

Night and day, I'm thinking on this...

(I do like Ryan as well. Your first instinct on Ryan, (or was it Evan) is probably the one you'll end up with!)
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You *have* to go with Ryan Schneider...er...Ryan Michael Schneider. C'mon! None of the others come close. Ryan is a name for an '04 baby. Alexander, Jack and Matthew aren't. Evan is...that's a drinking water from France, isn't it? Oh wait, that's Evian. Evian is a better name for a baby than Evan. Evan is a middle name anyway (well, sometimes Ryan is too), but Ryan is a great match for the Schneider name...Rock on, Ryan!
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Dodger Blue Michael Schneider!!!!! I like it.

i'd ditch the ones that rhyme with michael -- and Tyler is worse than Ryan, so I'm voting that off the ... list.
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All right, now the results. Eliminated this week? Jack.

That leaves us with...

Alexander Michael Schneider
Evan Michael Schneider
Matthew Michael Schneider
Ryan Michael Schneider

Yikes -- just four left? Are we really on the verge of naming our unborn child? Find out... on the next edition of Who Wants to Name Our Baby?, the Blogality show.

PLACE YOUR VOTES ON WHICH NAME TO ELIMINATE NEXT: nameourbaby@hotmail.com

Sofa, So Good

Tip time... Maria and I have been hunting for weeks for a new sofa, checking out the Macy's Furniture Outlet in Highland Park and the Wickes Furniture closeouts in Van Nuys.

Unfortunately, the couches there were either not what we were looking for -- or they were exactly what we wanted, but sported rips and tears or were missing a key pillow.

At the same time, were also took several trips to IdentityCraft for a look. IdentityCraft is one of those no-frills furniture stores that build custom-made items that look and feel identical to what you can find in a Pottery Barn or Z Gallerie -- but at a much lower price.

During one of our visits to the IdentityCraft showroom (in Van Nuys), we added our name to their mailing list. As a result, we received a postcard in the mail last week, announcing IdentityCraft's first-ever sample sale, held at their warehouse in Vernon. (Vernon? It's a city populated mostly by warehouses, south of downtown.)

It was at the warehouse that we found a sofa. And an ottoman. And a new dresser. Yes, we went a little crazy. But the deals were decent. (Except on sectional sofas, which, for some reason, were still marked a little too high for our taste.)

While picking up our ottoman, one of the warehouse workers told us we had just missed Jenny McCarthy. Apparently the mid-90s icon was first in the door at 11 a.m., ran through the aisles pointing at the things she wanted (I want that! And that! And that!), then paid and slid out.

Breakfast Gone Bad

I had originally planned on posting a rave about L.A.'s best breakfast deal: The $1.99 steal at IKEA. Yes, IKEA. Fluffy eggs, homestyle potatoes, bacon, a Swedish crepe with lingonberry jam and a refillable mug of coffee -- not bad.

Maria's brother Jason and wife Sherry first tipped us to the deal -- and we hit the spot several Saturday mornings, particularly as we were purchasing our kitchen cabinets. We even turned several others on to the IKEA secret.

So how disappointed were we a few weekends ago, when we made our first Saturday morning breakfast stop in a while at IKEA. The Swedish crepes? Gone. Replaced by cold pancakes -- and not even the guilty-pleasure-McDonald's variety. Homestyle potatoes? Replaced by tatertots, straight out of the frozen foods aisle. Eggs and bacon? Still there, but not as fluffy -- and pretty much an afterthought at this point.

The old IKEA breakfast was a simple pleasure, yet surprisingly unique for $1.99. Now the IKEA breakfast is as rote as a "Billy" bookcase. Nevermind.

Tonight on Hawaiian Eye: Pledge Drive Time!

Ooh, my first-ever pledge drive! After several months on the air, I'm hitting my stride -- and having some fun -- with my Hawaiian Eye radio program (TONIGHT! Midnight on 88.5 KCSN!)

Several record companies are now servicing me with fresh releases -- so no, I'm not repeating the same Israel Kamakawiwo'ole or Cecilio & Kapono tracks every week. And I've been having more fun with the broadcast board, trying to make the show sound as crisp as possible.

But now comes the real test: Pledge drive time. Because "Hawaiian Eye" airs after midnight, the station bosses have said I can keep the hard sell to a minimum. So chances are, I'll probably just push it a few times and stick mostly to music. But hey, if you're looking to help keep my little show on the air, you can also pledge via KCSN's website.

Rate-A-Restaurant, #52 in a series

Restaurant:ArcLight Cafe/Bar

Location: 6360 W Sunset Blvd (between Vine and Ivar, with DeLongpre to the south)

Type of restaurant: Mixed/Americana

They stipulated: Tell them what time your movie at the ArcLight begins, and they'll make sure to get you out in time. (Maria and I actually went to the ArcLight cafe, believe it or not, without seeing a movie at the theatre complex. Yes, we're weird.)

What we ordered: corn tamale covered with signature chicken black bean chili (Mike); Chicken Salad Sandwich (Maria)

High point: Service is fast -- can't keep moviegoers waiting -- and for a cafe inside a theater, the food is surprisingly decent. (Not that you can go wrong by dumping chicken chili over a tamale.) The real reason we went -- besides the slim pickings in the Sunset/Vine 'hood (Baja Fresh? Nah. And not in the mood to try the Schwab's spot just yet) -- was the atmosphere. The ArcLight has the feel of a busy train station, and is ripe for people watching. And eavesdropping on conversation. (The producers behind us kept marvelling at the success of ABC's "Desperate Housewives." And probably were plotting their own rip-off.)

Low point: We felt a tad goofy heading there without a movie ticket. Everyone -- the greeter, the waitress -- kept asking us what time our movie was. Also, because we didn't catch a flick, parking wasn't free.

Overall impression: Not a bad Friday night -- light dinner at the ArcLight, browse the solid selection of books at the ArcLight's gift shop, perhaps dart across the street to Amoeba, and even see a movie.

Chance we will go back: Likely. And with a baby on the way, we better see a movie next time. 'Cause that sure won't happen after Dec. 31.

For a complete archive of our Rate-A-Restaurant reviews, check out our companion ratearestaurant.blogspot.com website.

Press Release-A-Palooza

Cheesy casting week continues... not up for trying out for "The Swan?" Here's another open casting call: Be Elvis! Of course, CBS doesn't specify whether they're looking for young, "Jailhouse Rock"-era Elvis or later, bloated, losing-postage-stamp Elvis. Just in case, just eat half a fried-peanut-butter-and-banana sandwich for research.

Also in this edition of the Press Release-A-Palooza: Fired from "The Apprentice"? We've got a job for you! At... um, an online betting house. Next.

CBS ANNOUNCES AN OPEN CASTING CALL TO FIND THE NEXT 'KING OF ROCK 'N' ROLL' TO STAR AS ELVIS PRESLEY IN THE UPCOMING MINISERIES, "ELVIS"

CBS will hold an open casting call in Los Angeles in search of an actor to play Elvis Presley in the upcoming four-hour miniseries "Elvis." Participants will be judged on their singing ability, charisma and likeness to Elvis. Those interested in attending the casting call should look 18-33 years old. Hopefuls are required to bring their headshots, resumes and be prepared to sing 10 bars of any Elvis song.

DATE:
Wednesday, November 10

TIME:
10:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m.

WHERE:
CBS Television City
Gate 6 - Sound Stage 46
7800 Beverly Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90036

PARKING:
There is no parking on the CBS lot. There is parking available at The Grove and on the street near the lot.

NOTE:
Participants will be seen on a first come/first served basis.

NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE. FOR MORE INFORMATION GO TO CBS.COM.

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Contact: Kevin Mercuri
212-999-XXXX

TRUMP'S EX-APPRENTICES OFFERED POSITIONS WITH CASINO FORTUNE

Success of Hiring Stacie J. Inspires Casino Fortune to Offer All Ex-Apprentices Contracts to Provide Trump Data, Market Casino Fortune

NEW YORK; October 18, 2004 - Citing the success of working with Stacie J. - Donald Trump's early cast-off from The Apprentice - Casino Fortune today announced their intention to hire each ex-Apprentice as an advisor to the world's oldest online casino.

Earlier this month, Casino Fortune signed one of Trump's first cast-off, Stacie J., as a marketing advisor and spokesmodel. Impressive results from the Stacie J. deal drove executives to consider expanding on The ex-Apprentice operation. Casino Fortune will now offer similar contracts and arrangements to each ex-Apprentice.

"Our work with Stacie J. has increased our client base and expanded our mindshare among North American players," said Dennis Rose, senior vice president of Casino Fortune. "This gravy train is rolling strong and we see no reason to cut off its fuel supply."

Ex-Apprentices can contact Rose's office directly at dennis@casinofortune.com. Each ex-Apprentice will be promptly interviewed, contracted and assigned a marketing project for North America.

Rose added, "We welcome each and every ex-Apprentice to advise us and leverage their star power. Our lawyers are standing by with a contract in-hand."

Chopper Journalism

Loyal reader Dana writes about an interesting job lead sent to her by CareerBuilder the other day:

Due to my eternal hunt for better employment, I get job searches emailed to me daily from CareerBuilder.com. Today, somehow they matched me to this:

US-CA-Los Angeles
Helicopter Traffic Reporter
Tribune Company

So does this mean that KTLA is hard up for a replacement for Jennifer York? I'm unsure how many unemployed helicopter traffic reporters check out the typical job sites, but best of luck to them. And you'd think there would be a short list for his sort of thing--at the very least, they could hire someone away from UPN.

By the way, I love your blog.

Thanks, Dana... yup, indeed, Tribune has posted Jennifer York's job on its CareerBuilder site (which it runs with Gannett and Knight-Ridder).

For all you budding helicopter reporters, the listing can be found here. Start practicing by watching and narrating old tapes of "World's Wildest Police Chases."

Hip-Hop, Ya Don't Stop

The summer 2004 Angeles Arbitron radio ratings are out, led once again by top-rated hip-hop outlet KPWR (Power 106).

Hip-hop also fueled gains experienced by KIIS-FM (102.7), which recently retooled its sound to focus more on urban/hip-hop hits (a tweak that clearly paid off), as well as KKBT (100.3 The Beat). Spanish Contemporary outlet KLVE also had a strong book.

On the flip side, adult contemporary KOST (103.5) saw its numbers drop, as did KSYR (Star 98.7). KCBS-FM (Arrow 93.1) saw further declines, which will probably fuel more rumors of an impending format change. News outlet KNX saw a drop -- perhaps a negative reaction to the station's broader format.

And sorry, Indie 103.1 fans, the signal isn't delivering. This summer's ratings were actually lower than its dance-flavored predecessor.

The top ten, among listeners over the age of 12: KPWR (CHR/rhythmic); KLAX (regional Mexican); KFI (talk); KIIS-FM (top 40); KLVE (Spanish contemporary); KKBT (urban); KBUE/KBUA (regional Mexican); KHHT (urban AC); KOST (AC); KTWV (smooth jazz).

Press Release O' Tha Day

I know what you're doing this weekend. Shooting a video application to "The Swan," of course. Just don't hold me responsible for sharing this information.

FOX’S REALITY HIT SERIES “THE SWAN” BRINGS CONTESTANT SEARCH TO LOS ANGELES

The most popular makeover series in America returns with open auditions for the third season of THE SWAN, the groundbreaking FOX series that turns average-looking women into drop-dead-gorgeous beauties. Auditions will take place in eight cities across the U.S.

Producers are looking for female contestants, ages 21-45. They must have health and dental insurance and must not be recovering from any surgeries or illnesses. Videotaped submissions can be sent to “The Swan” - Season Three, 2554 Lincoln Boulevard, PMB #1013, Venice, CA 90291. For audition and submission information, log on to the website at www.fox.com/swan . For more information please call (800) 535-7936 or email a submission with your picture to betheswan@yahoo.com . Deadline for submissions is November 1, 2004.

THE SWAN 3 LOS ANGELES OPEN CALL DETAILS:

DATE/TIME:
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 30 10:00 AM - 5:00 PM

LOCATION:
Renaissance Hollywood Hotel (At Hollywood/Highland)
1755 No. Highland Ave.
Echo Park Meeting Room, 3rd Floor
Hollywood, CA 90028
Self park in Hollywood Highland Complex (we do not validate)

RAIN!

Holy crap, I'd forgotten about that stuff! Clearly, it's been awhile. We moved into our new house on June 1 -- and this was our first opportunity to see how rain impacted our home.

Good news. Given our trouble with plumbing and other issues, I was half-expecting leaks or some other horrible event. But so far so good -- the house seems OK.

According to the L.A. Times, this weekend's storms (which continues today) represented the first real rain in the region since April 17.

Writes the paper: The first significant rainstorm of the season triggered scattered flooding, mudslides, power outages and traffic collisions throughout Southern California over the weekend — and a wary sigh of relief from fire officials who have been worried for months about dangerous fire conditions.

The Forecast:

Today...Mostly cloudy with showers likely. Highs in the mid to upper 60s. Chance of showers 70 percent.

Tonight...Mostly cloudy with showers likely. Lows in the mid 50s to lower 60s. Chance of showers 70 percent.

Tuesday...Mostly cloudy. A chance of showers in the morning then showers likely in the afternoon. Highs in the mid 60s to lower 70s. South winds 15 to 20 mph in the afternoon. Chance of showers 60 percent.

No Longer Flying High

KTLA "Skycam 5" helicopter reporter Jennifer York, one of the original members of the "KTLA Morning News" team, has left the station.

Notes KTLA, in a short and to the point release:

JENNIFER YORK TO LEAVE KTLA

(Los Angeles - October 15, 2004) After a long 13 year run on the "KTLA Morning News," Skycam 5 reporter Jennifer York has chosen to leave the station effective today.

Since the "KTLA Morning News" began in the summer of 1991, York became a morning fixture on Los Angeles television providing traffic and breaking news from the skies above Southern California.

York made significant contributions to the "KTLA Morning News." Everyone at KTLA will miss her.

Beginning Monday, October 18, Bill Thomas will handle traffic reports until a replacement is found.

York is the latest in a string of familiar L.A. helicopter reporters who have left the chopper behind in recent years, including KNBC's Bob Pettee (who was booted in 2001), KTTV's Rod Bernsen and now York.

The Cobra

A few weeks ago, we saw a commercial promoting "The Apprentice" and noticed a subtle label the NBC marketers had used to describe Mr. Trump's "You're Fired!" hand gesture. It was never mentioned out loud but in big, bold letters, the words The Cobra drifted across the screen.

Ever since, Mike or myself will point the hand gesture at each other and whisper softly, "The Cobra." It was just too funny not to mock.

But lately, it seems that The Donald has all but abandoned The Cobra. Last night, he did a pointy-finger thing while firing his latest intern... was it John? I don't even care who it was anymore. And from the looks of next week's preview, he's going to do a flat cut across the air with his hand and simply say, "You're out."

I want The Cobra back. Is there a petition somewhere to get it back? NBC, are you listening? BRING BACK THE COBRA. (There is seriously something wrong with me.)

Out of Gas

You're tank's on empty... but you can't find a gas station nearby at all. Doesn't it seem like there are fewer gas stations around these days?

That's because there are. According to the Los Angeles Times, the number of service stations both locally and nationwide continue to decline:

Time increasingly is running out for gas stations in California. More than half the facilities in business in 1981 had disappeared by 2002, according to the California Energy Commission.

"The number dropped from 21,000 to 9,400," though many of those closing had only a handful of pumps," according to the commission's Rob Schlichting.

Industry analysts blame the station flameout on soaring real estate prices, oil company consolidations and environmental issues.

L.A. Times quotes the info in a story about a Beverly Hills Chevron, operated on land leased by Caltech, that has been evicted. Caltech hopes to get more money from a new tenant; that brings the number of gas stations in Beverly Hills down to four.

Shuttered gas stations are a common sight; the Chevron on Hillhurst in Los Feliz recently disappeared as well. (The story doesn't mention our observation that more and more gas stations are also going independent-- goodbye Shell, Mobil or Chevron, hello "Art's Sunset Gas."

My favorite is the local gas station (on Sunset Blvd.) that was once a Texaco, but too cheap to completely change its name after going indie -- and now calls itself "Exaco."

Winner, Laziest Town Slogan Award

Really, Burbank? That's your sales pitch? "Burbank fun"?

(My suggestion: "Burbank: Come for the IKEA. Stay for the Jaywalking Tickets.")

Death Knell for the Ambassador

The clock is ticking on Wilshire Blvd., as the L.A. school board voted 4-3 to adopt Supt. Roy Romer's plan to demolish most of the legendary Ambassador Hotel.

The L.A. Times reports:

Under the plan, which was one of five being considered by the board, the Los Angeles Unified School District would preserve the hotel's arcade of stores, a coffee shop designed by architect Paul Williams and the historic Cocoanut Grove nightclub while razing most of the hotel, including its lobby, hotel rooms and adjacent bungalows.

The board's decision ends one chapter in the life of the hotel that has played a significant role in the history of Los Angeles and represents one of the last pieces of open space along the densely packed Wilshire Corridor.

The school district has fought to gain control of the hotel site for almost 15 years as a way to ease overcrowding in neighboring schools.

At the meeting Tuesday, board members clashed over how to best deal with the historic aspects of the hotel while creating more classroom space. The three board members who opposed the superintendent's proposal were Mike Lansing, Jon Lauritzen and David Tokofsky.

During a lengthy public hearing, more than 30 speakers — including civil rights leader Dolores Huerta; Assembly Speaker Fabian Nuñez (D-Los Angeles); Kennedy's son, Maxwell Kennedy; and a host of community leaders, activists and concerned citizens — made poignant, sometimes tearful requests to alternately preserve the hotel, tear it down, or find a compromise.

Ken Bernstein, the director of preservation for the Los Angeles Conservancy, told board members that city residents "would surely never forget the demolition of the Ambassador." Nor, he added, would they forget "the elected officials who sent in the wrecking ball."

Conservancy officials said that the group's board will meet in the next few weeks to decide whether to take legal action against the district.

LA Observed has full coverage here.

Who Wants to Name Our Baby? Week Six

Welcome back! The net's favorite (OK, only) blogality show continues, as you help us decide whether our baby will be blessed with a name that exudes character and confidence... or whether he's going to be horribly teased in the seventh grade.

Yup, "Who Wants to Name Our Baby?" is back. And this week, the pick was overwhelming.

Gone this week is... TYLER.

You guys just didn't care much for it -- particularly because you thought it was too sing-songy.

Unfortunately, most of you failed to come up with decent replacements. So no new name added to the mix this week.

Here are some of this week's comments:

i'd ditch the ones that rhyme with michael -- and Tyler is worse than Ryan, so I'm voting that off the ... list.
****

Tyler is bland and boring. Kids named Tyler usually have sandy blonde hair and perfect teeth. Why is this a bad thing you wonder? Well it's not. (I myself had sandy blonde hair as a child.) But you don't want your kid to be ordinary. Plus Tyler Schneider IS a little too sing-songy. Try saying it fast five times. Not pretty. Also, the smart kids in your class were never named Tyler.

My replacement name is: Oliver Michael Schneider. Oliver is definitely a smart-person name.
****

Much like I refused to give up on Howard Dean, I still insist you should eliminate "Jack." Yes, I know I'm the only one.

For a replacement name, how about uber-Celtic: Sean!
****

Tyler is my choice to go -- the ending in the same sound-but-not-quite
rhyming thing is not musical.

How about adding Jacob (Jake) to the list?
****

You two are nuts!
What's with the middle name????
Don't get me wrong Mr. Schneider - I do love your name, but does this mean that when you have a second child - she gets "Maria" as her middle name?
****

Please get rid of Evan. I hate that name. Not only because possibly the most boring woman I've ever met named her son Evan. Not only because of that unfortunate (oh wait, who am I talking to?) reality TV connection.

Um.

But because it also lacks a good nickname/shortening. Ev? Who's going to call your boy Ev? My friend's name is Ev (short for Evaleen) but she's a girl dammit.

As for a new suggestion, I suggested to my friend Kelly that she name their son either Lolo or Zigzag (after Mt. Hood hikes.)

I humbly offer them to you as well. See? They've got good nickname possibilities. Hey, Zig! Lo, you swell cat, you.

Ta dah.
****

Get rid of Tyler.

I’m still fond of Max, not Maxwell but just good old Max. And I forget, was Justin ever in the mix? That’s a good one too but after all these weeks the names kind of blend together.
****

I'm voting off Ryan........what about Andrew or Zachary?
****

Vote off Evan...

I like the idea of Benjamin as a replacement.
****

OK, gang. We're down to the FINAL FIVE.

Alexander Michael Schneider
Evan Michael Schneider
Jack Michael Schneider
Matthew Michael Schneider
Ryan Michael Schneider

Now it's getting serious. And we're sweating... cause none of these scream "Mike and Maria's child." This week, we're asking you to vote off TWO NAMES and give us TWO NEW NAMES. Let's mix this contest up! (If TV reality shows can make up the rules as they go along, why can't we?)

As always, send your suggestions and eliminations to nameourbaby@hotmail.com.

Press Release-A-Palooza: Grove Edition

Coming soon to the Grove: Turner Classic Movies: The Store! (What's next? TNT Outfitters? CNNthropology? TBSbarro's?)

Turner Classic Movies Opens New Exhibit and Retail Outlet in Los Angeles, Seamlessly Blends Hollywood's Golden Era with Cutting Edge 'Experiential Marketing' Trend

On Oct. 11, TCM Officially Opens Doors to In The Picture, a One-of-a-Kind Movie Exhibition and Retail Store Including Rare Items from Casablanca

Turner Classic Movies has opened a new exhibition of classic movie memorabilia today, including a retail component, at The Grove shopping center in Los Angeles, the network's first foray into an "experiential marketing" venture in a fixed retail space. The "pop-up" storefront will exist through the end of the year.

In the Picture will feature classic-movie-themed merchandise for purchase, including products and books that TCM has produced with partners Chronicle Books and Graphique de France, as well as the new game Scene It: The Turner Classic Movies edition. Originally conceived as a showcase for TCM's new book, In the Picture: Production Stills from the TCM Archives, the space will also feature prints from the book, which are available for purchase, and quotes from Robert Osborne's forward.

The exhibition will also include the largest collection of memorabilia from the film Casablanca (1942) ever assembled in one place, including the piano and doors from Rick's Café, as well as costumes and other props from the movie, from the private collection of Dr. Gary Milan. The film's Oscar® for Best Picture will also be on display. Other items in the exhibition include the falcon from The Maltese Falcon (1941) also from Dr. Milan's collection, the robe worn by Katharine Hepburn in Adam's Rib (1949), one of the original scripts from the The Wizard of Oz (1939) and a dress worn by Elizabeth Taylor in Giant (1956). It opens beginning Oct. 4 and is slated to close its doors Dec. 31.

Master of Impressions

At least one friend, noting my Ethan Hawke item below, reminded me that I've also been accused of impersonating Ralph Fiennes. One of the Coffee Bean employees in Los Feliz even marked my receipt as so:

Of course, the illusion is lost once I open my mouth... and show off my braces.

Endangered Hollywood

While the debate continues to rage over the fate of the Ambassador Hotel (most recently, LAUSD board member David Tokofsky has introduced a last-minute proposal to preserve the historic site), other remnants of 1940s and 1950s-era Hollywood continue to disappear.

We wrote last year about the potential fate of the Florentine Gardens nightclub, where the city has proposed building a new fire station. The club -- which now caters to a hip-hop clientel only on the weekends -- was profiled this Sunday by L.A. Times columnist Cecilia Rasmussen:

During Hollywood's Golden Age, Florentine Gardens nightclub more than held its own against the Cocoanut Grove, Mocambo's, Ciro's, the Clover Club and the Trocadero.

The Gardens on Hollywood Boulevard drew tourists by the busload, helping Hollywood forge its reputation as the world's entertainment capital. It also drew local working people who saved up to go out on the town, paying a cover charge of $1.25 — or $2.50 for dinner too.

Here, future actress Yvonne De Carlo danced until her toes bled. Sophie Tucker, known as the "Last of the Red Hot Mamas," belted out "Some of These Days." Al Jolson dropped to one knee and, with outstretched arms, sang "Mammy." And in 1942, Norma Jean Mortensen and her first husband, Jim Dougherty, said "I do" — before Mortensen abandoned spouse and name to become Marilyn Monroe.

The LA Weekly wrote about the club's likely demise here in August.

Meanwhile, Back At The Money Pit...

The plumbing's fixed and the ant problem has subsided -- for now -- but now it's time to start thinking about a heater. Yup, the old one no longer works. And with a baby on the way, we're thinking we better install an air conditioner before things start heating up again.

You guys have been great in suggesting plumbers and ant killers... anyone install an AC and/or heater in recent times, and lived to tell about it? Who did you use? Where did you go? Hell, maybe we'll name our kid after you if it works out. Leave your suggestions in the comments below, or email us. Thanks!

Ethan Schneider?

The setting: Power lunch spot Maple Drive, where Joe and I were lunching with two agents and publicist Trisha Cardoso

Four tables over: Former NBC Entertainment chief Warren Littlefield, dining with a Nike exec

We're far enough away that we can sorta make out Warren, but he can't really make out us. Hence the exchange between Warren and Trisha, who goes over to say "hi."

Warren: "Hey, is that Ethan Hawke you're sitting next to?"

YUP. Warren Littlefield mixed me up with Ethan Hawke.

Hmm... future as an Ethan Hawke impersonator? Should I set up a booth on Venice Beach, next to the guy who thinks he looks like Columbo? ("Hey, take your picture with Columbo! $5.)

Haunted Los Angeles

Just in time for Halloween, MSN's Citysearch lists its picks for L.A.'s spookiest haunts.

No real surprises here: The usual suspects, including the Roosevelt Hotel and the Hollywood Forever Cemetery, are all here. (Actually, the Hollywood Forever Cemetery lands a spot in Citysearch's top ten scariest spots in the entire country. Don't know about that... Hollywood Forever is more kitschy than spooky, in my opinion.)

Here are the site's top scary picks, with Citysearch's commentary attached:

Hollywood Forever Cemetery: Legend has it that a black-veiled woman brings fresh flowers to Rudolph Valentino's grave every week.

Hollywood Sign: Local folklore says that a struggling young 1930s actress' suicide act is still played out around this famous L.A. landmark.

Roosevelt Hotel: Reported apparitions include those of Hollywood legends--and former guests--Marilyn Monroe and Montgomery Clift.

Pantages Theatre: It's been reported that eccentric billionaire Howard Hughes haunts his former theatre.

Universal Studios Hollywood: Some say they've seen a black-caped Lon Chaney Sr. running along catwalks tinkling a chandelier removed years ago.

Comedy Store: It's no coincidence that jokes and ghosts go hand-in-hand at this legendary comic stomping ground--once mob hangout Ciro's in the '40s.

Grauman's Chinese Theatre: One urban folklore claims the ghost of actor Victor Killian makes strange sounds and moves objects in seach of his killer.

The Queen Mary: The "Ghosts and Legends Tour" includes stories of mysterious sightings like splashes and wet footprints around the long-drained first-class swimming pool.

Silent Movie Theatre: Rumors fly that the spirits of two former owners haunt this venue honoring Hollywood's Golden Age.

Hollywood Wax Museum: A sign outside warns of a ghostly spirit moving among the life-size celebrity wax figures.

Box of Rocks, In a Landslide!

As we mentioned a few days ago, Ron Fineman's website (devoted to critiquing local TV news) has been running a poll this week: Who is smarter, KCOP jiggle anchor Lauren Sanchez, or a box of rocks?

The results are in... and Ron's readers choose the rocks.

The poll wasn't even close:

1. Sanchez 12%
2. Box of Rocks 74%
3. Undecided 14%

Writes Fineman: So the question is, will KCOP GM Kevin Hale take this poll seriously, and immediately replace Lauren Sanchez with the above box of rocks? Okay, since the box of rocks does not have large breasts and wear short skirts, that is not likely. But how about a female who is actually a journalist, with something between her ears besides air?

Yes on Nozawa

The latest Zagat Guide is out, and according to the Daily News, the overrated (at least, according to Los Angeles Times food critic S. Irene Viribila) Sushi Nozawa earns top food marks.

To back the survey up, the paper talks to respected foodie... Jason Biggs?

"It's the freshest, most delicious sushi I've ever had — it would be my last meal request," the "American Pie" star tells the Daily News.

Viribila dismissed the sushi spot -- famed for the Soup Nazi-like actions of owner Kazunori Nozawa -- in a recent review. The sushi and the service, in particular, aren't worth the astronomic prices, she said.

Meanwhile, the Daily News also reports that Sherman Oaks' Cafe Bizou wins as "most popular restaurant in L.A."

Other Zagat findings, according to the paper: Los Angeles residents eat out an average 3.8 times a week, the highest in the nation. But on average, Angelenos were rated among the worst tippers, averaging 18.2 percent.

Though the average meal rose 1.9 percent to $30.17, 65 percent of Los Angeles food mavens report spending more when dining out, while 55 percent of all meals were eaten or prepared outside the home.

And as we all know now, thanks to the hefty product placement in last week's "The Apprentice," you pronounce it "Zuh-GAT," not "ZA-git."

Who Wants To Name Our Baby? Week Five

Welcome back to Franklin Avenue's weekly blogality show. Yup, we're counting on you, our trusty readers, to help us name our unborn child. Crazy? Perhaps. But we still haven't come up with anything better, so what the hell.

Now, the results. If you watched last week's episodes of UPN's "America's Next Top Model" and CBS' "Survivor," you know there's a new trend in town: Double eliminations. And like any good reality show, we at "Who Wants To Name Our Baby?" are shameless enough to steal that idea.

So, without further ado, we're sending TWO names packing this week. (Drum roll, please):

Dylan and Austin, say your goodbyes. It's time to go.

Here are some of this week's comments:

****

Get rid of Tyler.

Your baby boy should be named FLETCHER.
His buddies in grade school, etc., will definitely think that name is cool!
****

I am still voting for Austin to get the boot...
My replacement name would be David.
****

...Jack. I'm telling you, avoid my bad ex-boyfriend karma!
 
My substitute? Current good boyfriend karma: Jason.
****

definitely Jack and Alex(ander), but I am surprised at the overall traditionality of the names in general. (But please not Austin! My god. What are you thinking?)

How about doing it the Celtic way and giving him someone's surname? Yours or Maria's...or anyone's you like.

Schneider Schneider really isn't too bad.

Or there are those who name their children after their favorite city or state (similar to the horrible Austin or the as-bad Tyler).

So, how about Honolulu Schneider or Hawaii Schneider?

Then others just like using any word that they find appealing. My friend, for example, has a yearning to name a future child Shiraz.

In the end, you will probably just go with what you like best, regardless of x number of e-mails begging you not to name the poor waif Dylan (which along with the aforementioned Tyler and Austin forms my own Axis of Evil from your list).

When I taught high school, not one of my students liked the name Beryl for a future child of mine. They were repulsed by it, in fact. I still love it.

But as per your request, since I am nixing 5 of the names on your list, I'm supposed to give you 5 replacements and I've only given you 3.

To make it 5,  here are 2 more:
Blog Boy (B.B. for short)
Wallace

Good luck to thee!

****

I agree with some of your other posters, Dylan, Evan and Tyler seem too something.  Unfortunately, I can't think of another word except for popular.

What about Jason?

I was going to suggest Justin or Jared, but Justin reminds me your former roommate and Jared, well... I think we can all blame Subway for ruining that name.
****

Austin's got to go.  The name seems very OC to me for some reason, very suburban, very bland and yet also bratty.  I picture Austin running around kicking adults in the shins and laughing. 

I would replace Austin with Benjamin.  Ben is the greatest name ever.  I don't really have an argument for this.  I just like it. Think about it this way, your kid is doing something cute, and everyone looks over and say, "Awww look at Ben.  Isn't Ben cute?"  It doesn't have quite the same ring to it with Austin.  "Awww look at Austin.  Isn't Austin cute?" 
****

I would vote off Dylan, just because you don't want your kid to have a name like he's a character on "North Shore" or "The O.C."

I like the name Sean and think Sean Michael Schneider has a pretty nice ring. I think with all those syllables in the middle and last names, you really need a one syllable first name.
****

I'm still voting against Dylan...
 
and since you're determined to go with ___ Michael Schneider, I suggest either Not Michael Schneider or Junior Michael Schneider.
 
but seriously, folks...
how about Eric?
****

no no no Dylan
If you have a daughter, does that mean you'll name her Brenda or Kelli?
****

Now, it's time to vote off another name... and remember, when you taketh a name, giveth one too. In other words, give us your vote for which name we should add to the mix.

Here are our six finalists:

Alexander Michael Schneider
Evan Michael Schneider
Jack Michael Schneider
Matthew Michael Schneider
Ryan Michael Schneider
Tyler Michael Schneider

As always, email us which name YOU'D LIKE TO ELIMINATE to nameourbaby@hotmail.com.Thanks for playing!

Ho... Ho... Whores...

Christmas has already come to Ralphs supermarkets, writes a reader:

I don't know if you noticed, but Ralphs is playing Christmas music in their stores and even has Christmas decorations on display. It was bad when Christmas began before Thanksgiving, but this is freaking ridiculous. When I complained to the checker about the music, she started on her "Well, here at Ralphs we want to show you that we are First In California..." speech, but then she stopped and said..."It's crazy...they want me to wear one of those stupid Santa hats..." I told her they should go on strike again. Seriously. They. Must. Be. Stopped.

What's worse, Ralphs is so far ahead, they're celebrating Christmas 2005. (Rim shot.) Seriously... can you imagine having to work through the same mix of Christmas tunes for three months straight? Fine, take away my health benefits, just please, for the love of all things decent, stop the music!

Five Reasons to Get Your Ass Over to Portland

Light posting much of last weekend, as we headed up to Portland for Su and Fred's wedding. It was our second time up in Portland, and it's quickly becoming one of our favorite North American cities.

Clean air, a vibrant downtown, simple and cheap public transporation, friendly people and great views... It's a much more hospitable San Francisco. Why head down there?

1. Nature is around the corner. Maria marveled at how fit the people of Portland were. These people are effortlessly in shape, and why not? The outdoors are totally accessible. Su and Fred threw their wedding in Hood River, an hour just east of Portland. But for the amount of time it sometimes takes for me just to get from Glendale to West L.A., Portlandians are transported to a perfect spot for a getaway. Located on the Columbia River, the town is small and charming, with hiking and windsurfing close by (sorry, didn't partake).

On the way back to Portland, we stopped at a number of mountainside waterfalls, including Multnomah Falls. Right next to the falls, a lodge offered up a extensive but cheap breakfast... we dined on omelettes and french toast while taking in the views.

2. Powell's City of Books. One of the nation's largest independent bookstores, Powell's is an institution -- and probably represents Portland better than any other attraction. You can get lost combing through Powell's floor after floor of new and used books; as a matter of fact, you better take a map with you -- lest you really get lost.

3. Portland is the West Coast's biggest small town. The city boasts more wine bars than Los Angeles, more restaurants than you'd expect in a city this size and a lively downtown.

4. Public transportation that seems to work. Much of downtown falls under what Portland calls a "fareless square" -- which means you can hop on the bus, light rail or streetcar for free. And yes, those three modes of transporation take you where you want to go.

5. Shockingly friendly people. I try to hide our maps when we explore on vacation -- but let's face it, we can still look like tourists. One man came up to us and started trying to help us figure out where we were (even when I told him that I knew where we were. Strangely enough, he didn't. But he made the effort.) The streetcar and bus drivers we talked to actually enjoyed their jobs -- and were more than willing to explain in detail how we should go from Point 'A' to Point 'B'. We were even invited to sip free wine and downing crackers and brie after a Catholic church Mass.

Plenty more reasons to head up to Portland. The trip is a quick 2 hours by Alaska Air. Go to it.

Off By About 1.29997 Trillion

Newspaper correction of the week, from Saturday's Los Angeles Times:

Pizza combinations -- In an article in Sunday's Business section about nutritional labeling on restaurant menus, a representative of the California Restaurant Assn. said there were 1.3 trillion possible combinations for a pizza with 15 toppings to choose from. There are 32,768 combinations.

Leaving L.A.

As Travis and Susie pick up and move to Vancouver, Travis chronicles one final, quintessential Los Angeles moment. While downtown meeting with some clients, Travis stumbled across Fisherman's Outlet Market, where the seafood is fresh, the crowd wildly diverse and the food insanely cheap.

He writes: The counter is a madhouse. People are yelling their orders from tippy toe. Eight short Latinos jockey in white smocks for position in front of the patrons. Fish in boxes is being passed through the crowd like grunge rock performers diving into the mosh pit.

The people behind me speak French, maybe Moroccan. The people in front of me speak Japanese. The people in the front of the line just grunt.

The menu, a large board suspended over the cash register (of which there are but two) includes: Swordfish. Orange roughy. Giant scallops. Catfish (whole, deep fried). Ceviche. Lobster tail. Mahi mahi. Salmon. Halibut. Cod. Tuna. Tilapia. Shrimp. Crab. Three soups: bisque and two chowders.

The price was SO CHEAP. Salmon for $8? Mahi Mahi for $9? Lobster for -- I cannot repeat it here, there would be a riot.

Travis marvels at how, despite once working downtown and attending USC, he'd never heard of the joint until now. That's why he'll miss Los Angeles: You're never done exploring this city. Even if you've been here for 10 years, 20 years or your entire life, you haven't seen everything.

That, my friends, is what L.A. is all about. It is never, ever, knowable, to anyone, ever. It's bigger than anyone can even understand. It's national-debt big, distance-to-Alpha-Centauri big, spam-messages-sent-per-year big, human-genome big. You have to pretend that it's possible to understand it, or else you could never possibly live here, never leave your house, never buy new shoes, never find a hair dresser.

Let me try to give you a sense of scale. There are, in fact, 112 Payless shoe stores within 20 miles of my house in Pasadena...

Los Angeles County is 4,084 square miles, an area 888 square miles larger than the combined area of the states of Delaware (1,982) and Rhode Island (1,214). Of that, L.A. city is 465 square miles. In 1850, L.A. city was 1,600 people. On January 1, 2004, there were 10,103,000 residents in L.A county, and a bunch more too hung over to drive home.

L.A. doesn't have thousands of years of history, doesn't have labyrinthine streets or canals. (Except that it does -- La Brea Tar Pits and Hollywood Hills and Venice respectively -- just like it has everything else you could possibly imagine, just like it produces, packages and distributes all the imagination you can stand).

Los Angeles isn't deliberately mysterious like Paris or a collection of tiny burghs like London, or everything packed into one island, like New York. No, the place L.A. reminds me of the most is actually Mars.

I feel like for the past 14 years, I've been travelling this city like Spirit, the Mars Rover, poking my head into one crater or another, drilling into this oddly shaped rock, finding out little fascinating tidbits, enough to fully occupy me for years, while all around me, an entire planet sprawls and storms and thaws and generally manages to do just fine without me.

So, the next time someone asks me what I think of L.A., I'm going to say, "I don't know yet, I haven't really seen enough of it to judge."

Good luck in Vancouver, guys. And we'll be sure to hit the Fisherman's Outlet Market for ya.

Kennedy Cop-Out

The Kennedy family has no interest in helping save the historic Ambassador Hotel, according to stories in today's L.A. Times and Daily News.

The clan's position helps the cause of superintendant Roy Romer, who is pushing a compromise plan that saves some of the hotel -- including the hotel pantry where Robert Kennedy was assassinated -- but replaces most of the landmark structure with a new school building.

According to the papers, the LAUSD board members were already aware of the Kennedy family position: In an interview Thursday, Romer said the "feelings of the Kennedys are very important to me. I have thought about that before, and I will continue to think about it."

But Romer added that his job was to find a plan that would pass board muster, avoid lawsuits and get a school built while still acknowledging the historic value of the site.

"I know the community is divided, and I have tried to find a compromise," Romer said. "I have got to get this school built, because the children are going to be hurt if I don't."